Have you got many cyber friends? The fact that you are in Steemit and the longer you have been here - your answer to that question is probably a yes.
Have you met them? What it's like during the first meeting?
Did you have a click right away or did you realize the person is way different in real life than on the web? Did you spend hours of long talks or just bid each other goodbye after a few minutes? Did series of questions pour out and produce linkages of questions born after one another or was it more of - dead cold silence? What was the experience like?
Where I came from it would be unusual for a woman to make friends with men - more so - on the web. That's my case obviously .. but I don't have any problem with that. I've been doing it since Skype was invented and made dozens of male friends I still am in contact with on the web. I've only managed to meet one in person - here many years ago. I asked that person to do a background check on my husband when I was still dating him(my hubby) on the web. Oh, hubby knows about that part and he's also friends with the person till now.
I went through a "dejavu" last Sunday. Yes, I did it again - well, you know what they say - old habits don't die. Even though it's not the first time, I always get curious about what kind of a person I am going to meet. Would they be the same as how they are on the web?
I only make friends with who I think are - really kind people on the web. In my experience, the longer you get to know them - the more relaxed they become with you (and so do I) so when things don't go wrong and they start misbehaving (oh yes, some do!) - you can easily - just stop.
The most exciting part is meeting in person really! My husband is very supportive to me on that matter. You might find that unusual but I grew up "with the boys" and hang out more often "with the boys" which he actually likes a lot because most of his friends are guys. He could take me with him on visit to his friends because he knows I'd be comfortable with them guys. My husband and I would share friends - we find it better to have the same friends so he was also curious and excited ( I was more that I kept PMing my friend asking when we could meet already) to meet my cyber friend on Sunday.
The only thing we brought with us are "the impressions" we have about the person - no expectations nor illusions. We were late with the appointment so we were a bit embarrassed. We got slowed down with a row of bikers on the road but despite that we were welcomed warmly.
We went elsewhere to take a stroll and I noticed my husband was already "feeling closer" to my friend than I am. I wanted to say; "Honey, that's my friend, too - actually .. my friend first." - not because I'm possessive but because I couldn't catch up with the conversations. I was feeling like walking with two geeks happily chatting about EOS and the crypto world and so many other things I couldn't even comment about. No, I wasn't feeling out of place I was letting them do that, too because it wasn't like that in the beginning plus I was happy my husband liked him a lot as well.
We took a long walk, went under a waterfall in the park and stopped in front of "Bambi's house" where they did not even look at Bambi nor notice that I was feeding a young reindeer with acorns (that day I learned that reindeer actually eat raw acorn) I picked up on the path during our stroll in Sonsbeek Park. They were so into their conversation and went on talking about ICOs, altcoins and whatever more I couldn't follow because I honestly don't get a lot of the terms they were using and the subject they were talking about not to mention that they were speaking in tongues~~ ...I mean Dutch.
The whole day passed by and I got to talk to my friend when we all sat down for a drink, while we were taking selfie of our shadows, in the city strolling along the crowd, in the resto with the fake beach and when we sat down in a real coffee shop and talk about other stuff. Yes, my husband monopolized my friend - that day but ... it's alright. We'd meet again some day and I could always talk to him more often than he could ha!ha!
If there's one more thing I am so happy about this meet up - it's the fact that my cyber friend is the very same person in the web and up close and personal - full of compassion, honest, kind, humble, no pretense - just himself and ever generous. Oh .. I was drawn to this person for all of the above and his being "wise" and ever generous sharing his knowledge to me. I've often sought advice from him, too. Yes, I like hanging out with older and wiser people because I am aware that I could learn from them a lot. My husband has the same impression so when it was time for him to leave, though we would want to hold him longer - he has a family to go home to.
Both with a heaving heart, we bid him goodbye and watch him vanish into the glass wall of the train station. I suck at goodbyes and my husband knows so he asked me in the car when my friend was probably already sitting in the train - "Do you feel like crying?" Hahaha... but only because he saw what happened when I bid Esther goodbye back at the airport in December. I told him I don't but rather worried because my friend must be tired and hungry again. It was already 6 pm - dinner time. It's going to be a 3.5 hour train ride - pretty long. That's why we appreciate him paying us a visit despite the very fact that he often easily get tired. Thankfully his body and the weather cooperated that day.
Back at home, my husband asked me to check if he's gotten home safely - I did. I was dead tired from the stroll so I napped and got the reply back that he's nearing his house at almost 10 pm. It must have been a long day for my friend, we felt sorry we held him pretty late but it's not everyday that you meet people of the same mindset and with a heart of gold so can you blame us we had so much fun, forgot the time and easily got attached ? Unfortunately, most of our friends who are like that live far away. Oh well... we'll head to his place next time.
I can't really say it's the beginning of a good friendship because even though our friendship was born in the web it's been going on for almost a year now. Let's just say that the meet up just made it stronger and brought confirmations of who we are really. That we really had so much fun and my husband and I felt like we've known him for a long time already (which is somehow true because he wasn't a catfish). It may be too early to say that but we have a good gut feeling about this one even before we met him and it just got confirmed when we all got together.
I have always refused to believe when some of my conservative friends tell me that it's not possible for real friendship to be born in the web. I've confirmed that many many times now so if like me you have successfully made real cyber friends - I raise my glass to you - and for the many ones who has managed to establish great friendship born on the web, too.
I must say though that here, in Steemit I have plenty of those - all I would treasure till the day I may no longer be able to post. Most of them are very very creative, supportive, authentically kind and ever helpful - and all those "sugar and spices of adjectives" you could ever use to describe a person or specially a friend - a cyber friend to be more specific. For all those men and women I've made friends here - I am ever grateful we've crossed our paths. Hopefully, someday, it would be up close and personal, too. Fingers crossed!
How about you?
Have you yourself any cyber friends?
How many of them have you meet in person? Are they the same person on the web or are they different in real life?
Which do you prefer and find easier to make - friendship born on the web or that in real life? Why?
I took each pic with my Samsung Galaxy A3 2016 and just used my phone filter to give that last pic that filter. The egg holders are mementos from my cyber friend so cute huh?
Are you new in Steemit? Kindly read the Complete Steemit Etiquette Guide Revised Edition authored by @thecryptofiend to help us all get along well with each other. Hopefully you do get to read it now since there's nothing else that comes after it except that picture below.
Hi @ englishtchrivy
I have not met my friends here at steemit, except for a few I know from Norway
Those who always make up for you if you are sick, poor or rich and give you a helping hand.
Those who listen to you and understand what you are saying and do not speak behind your back
My family are my best friends, stand up for each other in many ways.
We have yet friends from childhood that we often meet and sometimes are on vacation together. It may also be the family we are on vacation in together.
Bad friends are the ones who look up to when you're doing well, then they are there until the status falls and you're not so rich anymore.
Here I think many people notice it well, here the good friends will distinguish from the bad ones.
And then you really see who are your good friends
And then we have friends here at Steemit who gives a helping hand and explains who things work here. And I would like a special thank you to you @ englishtchrivy
hi xpilar, sorry for the late reply, I've been playing with some real life friends
hanging out with them somehow recharged me batteries - if you know what I mean
social life is also an important aspect in life
I sort of missed out on it for quite some time
you mean - bad friends are the ones who leave you when you're no longer that rich?
I agree .. but let's not call those friends - for friends are supposed to be really good and they would stand by your side through thick and thins - I can count mine in my fingers.
At least I have a "- plus one" of those again :)
you may experience that even here
but I only want to count those who stay by my side through thick and thins -(SP wise) here
and cherish them - be they fat or thin again, too
what matters most is what we went through when we were growing up here as Steemians
am touched that you consider me as one of your friends here
but hey .. am not an expert here - I don't even make trending so that shows am not
and I have so much more to learn, too
I'll share you my secret - I'm always grateful - no matter what - whales or no whales in my post ;)
good luck and keep posting!
if you could do it daily the better
I used to - but these days I have to find balance in my life, too
Cheers!
Hi @ englishtchrivy
Do not be sorry to respond late.
Agree with you that we have to charge the batteries, take free and appreciate friends.
Steemit is demanding and can make us blind for the time we use here.
I've learned a part of you here at Steemit, and today I'm helping others here.
Thank you very much @ englishtchrivy
wow!
kudos for helping others, too
I hope good karma finds you along the way :)
Yes, thank you
meep
OOoooooooh
My old friend !!!!
I salute you !!!!
meep
Ye yeah, I know !!!
meep
@englishtchrivy, first of all thank you so much for your story and really laughed out loud here when I saw the pictures of the eggs. Very creative of you.
Few years ago before I got married I had many online friend. Male and female. Met some and just a few of them are still good friends of mine.
But after a while I stopped "meeting" people online cause I was busy with improving myself. Being a better mommy for my girls and taking much better care of myself and putting the past in the past and focussing on my future.
Now I have a great husband (who is kind and nuts like I am :p and supports me so much) and I want to "meet"like minded people online.
Only I have noticed that the places I used to be online doesn't work for me anymore. I don't have really much incommen with a lot of people. I am not better then them, but....well...
I love goofing around but also love a good and deep conversation.
Who knows I will "meet" some like minded people overhere.
Againa thank you for sharing your story.
Hugs
thank you :)
good luck out here and I hope your wishes come true!
Eggcellent . your cracking me up ;)
hahaha nice one - I love this comment!
just because its funny :)
thank you!
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thank you
am sorry am pretty late on noticing this
That's actually pretty sweet. It's pretty cool that your husband is supportive.
Especially with the way technology is changing our world so quickly, I think that it's important to accept the internet as a networking tool. You honestly never know who you're going to meet!
Best of luck to you!
yes Im pretty lucky
but we share everything to each other ;)
thank you and good luck to you out here, too!
Thank you :)
the people eggs are so cute!!
they're eggs! they're eggs !
thank you ! ^ ^
You are welcome!! :-)
I don't have any cyber friends personally.
Only real friends. (real as those I meet face to face).
For me word "friend" have special meanings. For someone to be my friend, they have to pass certain expectations in real life. I need to know them for a very long time to see how they behave, and to see how they treat me in different situations. It also require living with them together for at least few weeks to really find out who they really are. Many people fake their character and do not show who they really are until you start living with them. If you are really unlucky you can even encounter clinical sociopath who are masters in disguising their true character - they are fun going to parties and pretending to be friends on the fun and trying to manipulate you to think they are your friends by bringing you gifts, etc.
I do not trust anybody, and learnt dozens of times in hard way that we should not trust anyone until they meet above criteria.
10 years ago social media started to exploit the word friend. Friend this friend that. Myspace friend, Facebook friend, Instagram friend... Steemit friend, and so on.
The word "friend" lost the meaning.
For me none of these social media "friends" or cyber "friends" are friends. They are just some acquaintances, companions, party buddies or colleagues.
It's alright we don't have to be all the same.
I guess I understand where you're coming from and yes.. I have to admit that - "friends" also mean something deeper to me.
I also understand why you think so about cyber relationships and yes abuse could happen more often in the net than in real life
however, I also believe that everything we send out there is reciprocated exactly the way we send it .. IMHO
therefore, I am always cautious on what to send out here
well.. not extra careful these days because in my experience if you just are yourself on and offline (which I am not 100% I totally admit - not to everyone specially not where the world can read everything- having written this - you may have already guessed PMs and private chats played the roles in building a stronger version of that cyber friendship I wrote up there) - you will get the same treatment on people. If people would allow themselves to be open minded to the thought that there's a soul behind that comp - reaching out and just being themselves and is treating them honestly - no humane soul would dare not reciprocate on that treatment because kindness - as I have learned - knows no enemy. I picked up that line from one of my Buddhist friends.
I won't disagree with you on how you perceive your "cyber friends" you may think so - I totally respect that. Cheers for having a different view.
Makes the world a spicier place to live :)
Buddhist teaching are often very wise but they are not ultimate oracle of truths :-)
Sometimes they confuse kindness with naivety. Kindness not always work. There re people out there who completely lack any compassion or empathy. They are cognitively undeveloped in this area. They will only use your kindness to exploit you and benefit from it. Many are not just psychologically abuse but also physically.
i totally agree
I don't think that any particular group could claim they hold the ultimate truth but then that's out of the topic :D
yes, those kind of peeps exists but don't worry ;) we could always close our doors to them besides we don't want to be a "victim" of those
I guess .. in my case I carefully choose who to hang out with or talk to..
and you also have a point on distinguishing naivety with kindness
I also am not "only" kind - I won't like it - it would be tiring and I would feel like I didn't respect myself or have abused myself if I'm only kind that's why I also mentioned that on the post that if someone misbehaves and gets too close for comfort and started stepping on the line though we're not playing basketball but just because I reckon that you know what I mean ;) - there's always that STOP button to press :)
You are right. Setting our boundaries is very important too.
always ;)
am off to bed
will recharge my VI for the morrow
too low again ..
sleep tight
Have a good night! :-)
Just to add. Of course it is possible to meet real friend on the web, but I think that it will require later, regular relationship in reality (so above mentioned expectation could be confirmed :-)
possibilities abound so I totally agree with you
but ... I guess the strength of the so called friendship would require - two humans dancing that friendship tango :)
in the same frequency :)
reality weighs more .. I totally agree on that
hehe so cute
thanks
Interesting writing.
thank you
I have met one special cyber friend in particular that I can one hundred percent say is amazing. Now let me see. Whats her name again. Like that plant that keeps climbing up my bloody wall? Darn. nope. Forgotten it.
It will come to me :OD
Glad you had such an awesome time and that hub liked him much too!
I think I know who .. it starts with O and ends with a U?
oh look that line just rhymed
whahay you usually say it does rhyme hahahaha
Heheheh, look at me, I am a doofus. What I meant to write above is that I can think of one cyber friend in particular that is amazing who it would be great to meet!! Doh. I ruined my whole spiel!
Her name starts with an eye and ends with a Y
Theres a rhyme for ya!
Thank you for posting @englishtchrivy.
What a lovely post.....well written and gently said....articulating this complex yet real life situation.
Since we are souls with bodies....bleujay thinks of it like this.....it is our souls that think and communicate which is what we are hoping to accomplish here at Steemit.
The principle being ....man is thought.
Therefore bleujay has already met englishtchrivy because we have exchanged thought.
Wishing you all the best. Cheers.
NB...love the eggs...sweet. ^_^
thank you !
yes, yes we have indeed many times Mon Ami - you know you are one of those I truly appreciate having met here right?
need I say more ?
cyber kisses sent! .. hmmmm... hugs rather hahahaha
Thank you for your kind reply @englishtchrivy.
Yes....met here at Steemit. ^_^
Thank you.......cyber kisses and hugs....to you. haha
All the best...... A bientot.
received!
warmest of them all ^ ^
sleep tight Mon A mi!
....,a friendship that lasted for a long time, the fact that was born "only" on the web. :(
hopefully it would last indeed!
Hope so.. please visit my blog sometime
i actually did that day
The Eggs, are really absolutely marvelous Ivy, they made me smile a lot.
What a beautifull inside, warm and honest story, it is like I did experience it myself. They acted a bit selfish though, the geeks. Well, they met for the first time, must have been part of that I think. But men aye, tss tss...
Nederish and geek talk, it is a tough combination, next time they better do some English, or you just swear someting at them in Korean! They will read this and adapt, I am sure.
Your friend is blessed with such kind friends and he should have noticed the acorn feeding. Also next time he should talk more English, as I understand he actually can. How rude, really...
Sonsbeek is a great park and Arnhem is a beautifull bitcoin city. And I know the waterfall, heard they closed it down for repairs, but some still go inside, the nerve...! Nederlanders, strange kind of folk, are they not?
Looks like real to me, and it is sometimes a gamble indeed. But you and your hubby are just as real to me as you post about it. Very nice warm and caring people with their heart at the right spot. Your friend is a lucky man.
He must have also been a bit sad when he had to leave after such a nice day. And I know for sure it can be real. Even if there are fake people on the web. But that is just like in real life too.
Beautifull post, thanks for sharing, resteemed it with pleasure.
Love the eggheads. :-)
yes, them damn geeks hahaha (revenge oh)
not rude really .. but maybe less deep would be good
relateable words - high falutin makes me dizzy hahah not the geeks fault
I'd better adapt and read or listen to more geek talks ey?
the peeps who went inside the waterfalls are pretty much some dare devils hahaha
specially the promoter ..hmm.. who was that again huh?
the eggs are so cute ey?
they were boiled the next day hahahaa...
my friend is a lucky man? we, too!
proost! to friendships born on the web! :)
There must be a balance to be found there, so it makes sense for all. And not all geek talk, there can be a balance in that too.
Now who did promote such a dare devilling enterprise...!?
Yes, the eggs are awesome! Very expressive, nicely done.
Cheers to webborn friendships!
who was the promoter?
I think the tallest among all three :P
hahaha
sleep tight!
;-) Sleep well!
Good work 😉
Glad to see your post again.So, I guess you are more likely to be in T-shirt and jeans than dress or skirt. :p
hey you .. missed us talking ey? yeah me, too
well.. actually that's the funny part
I usually dress up girly - very girly
and most of the time - conservative but then just because I grew up and was brought up like so - dress and all
Mama's fault :D
ah.. then you are the rose among the thorns
That sounds like a wonderful meeting! I've spend most of my life having male friends aswell. I work in IT, so there are plenty there and honestly, men are just so much easier to talk to. No hidden agendas. I feel very uncomfortable around women most of the time (there are a few exceptions, luckily).
I've met some friends I made online! I actually dated two guys I met online aswell (through friends). I met my current boyfriend in an online game with both play and we now live together! He's the perfect guy for me.
I've had fun at an amusement park (Walibi) with one of my online friends, where we got soaking wet when the rollercoaster didn't want to continue.
I even met one of my Swedish friends one day when I was on vacation there. It was a lot of fun to wander around the city with him.
I also had a small group of girls I used to talk a lot to online. We met up once in a while at Walibi or in Utrecht. We lived all over the country and one in Belgium. She even went with us on vacation once and I visited her family when they were on vacation in the area!
Yes, it's definitely possible to make good friends online. It's easier to meet like-minded people. Though I do have trouble keeping in touch sometimes! I also always feel like I'm not interesting enough, so I leave people alone quite easily aswell.
By the way, I completely understand not following a word two guys are saying! When my boyfriend and his best friend are together, they talk about all sorts of stuff I know nothing about. Or they start quoting movies or games. They are so well tuned into each other, I just can't follow sometimes! I'm happy they are such good friends though :-)
I can relate to you in the many things you wrote up there
I don't think you're not interesting enough
I only see - you're pretty young now
so much things to experience ahead of you
I guess .. if I may say .. you're going through a normal phase in life
Cheers !
I think you're right :D
Agree, Agree and Agree.... To what? Well true friendships can be between opposite sexes, my best friends are female. I certainly believe friendships can be born digitally, assuming people are honest and genuine meaning the same or more or less the same as in real life (and many are I would think). In the future we will have virtual reality implemented in such a way that we will be able to experience virtual life as in eg the movie Inception, as real as if you dream. Then all the elements are there, like visuals, body expressions and the emotions that comes along with it. But we are not there yet, but still, you dont need to see each other to be able to connect on a mind level. I didnt had the experience bring virtual 'friends' into my real life though. I do however develop a good friendship with someone I know briefly from real life (cannot call it friends) and with and around Steemit we communicate so much that I can call this we becoming good friends. It is a she BTW :)
Added to that, digital communication and FB, chat Apps and all, helps to stay in contact with those I met maybe for just one evening at some event and enjoyed a great day and/or night. I have several examples that because I stay in touch through digital means we meetup (even if this is once every couple of years) when possible or in one or two occasions even a kinda vacation together (mostly people from other countries, so there is logistical challenge).
BTW true friendship for me has no distance, and has no time, and has no "we need to see each other every week, or talk to each other every day". I have some friends living in NL who I see maybe 1 or 2 times a year. BUT still, they are my true friends, when we meetup it feels 100% comfortable to be 100% one self, as if we meet just a week ago. They will be there for me when I need them, regardless! That is true friendship for me!
ah.. the very enthusiastic Edje
I also have those - true friends I only see 2x (if I get lucky ) a year :D
but I guess our friendship is stronger because of the distance between us
Super nice, isn't it? I like those friends really much, those that are long distance and whenever we meet, it feels 100% comfortable to be 100% yourself and no problems at all that the daily lives are not constantly shared with each other.
So cute. I steal the web from spidey. Xixi
That was an interesting article @englishtcrivy! I would say that I do have some Steemit friends but I have never met any of them.
I thought you did Old Dog - in Steemfest!
Look who I met online that is now here in the flesh!
Mr. @vcelier! It is sure to be an intersting weekend with my friend!
I met a very good friend online that happens to be 7,000 miles away in South America 9 months ago. We talk a lot by phone, free on "whatsapp." I am amazed at how much we have in common. It as if it was no accident. Maybe like energies are attracted to each other. But, it is so cool to learn another culture and ultimately know that we humans are at the the same at the core. Through this friendship I've come to realize that the whole world should be able to get along. I really think the world could live in peace if governments and politicians would just get out of the way.
We all need friends ! And better good ones !
Good luck with a friendship !
=]