Today was my first day working in Edinburgh.
I left Glasgow on the hour long train journey. I had a coffee in one hand, my Kindle in another and Steemit lurking on my phone. All was looking good. I managed to grab a table seat and slouched down into a world of digital nonsense.
In no time at all it seemed I had gotten off the train and was walking into the new office that my company had laid claim to.
What a stupid name. It was a relatively small building. Only three floors but with lots of shiny glass.
I wandered in past a sleeping security guard and stepped over various workmen who were laying carpets and drilling things. A vast empty expanse of office space lay before me.
I heard what sounded like a goose honking whilst protecting her young.
It was El Jefe. He was standing in the middle of the floor talking to a bunch of folk, some of whom I vaguely recognised and others who were complete strangers.
I went over.
And this one... Well, this is BoomDawg. The man of the hour.
El Jefe waved an arm at me.
I gave him my best shut it, you knob smile.
The man he was speaking to leapt forward and extended a large and hairy hand. I shook it. It felt like I was wrestling an excited chimp.
You another weegie then eh?
He gargled in a thick East Coast accent which sounded like an otter gnawing at a bone.
I glared at him in utter contempt. Weegie being a slang term for Glaswegians that Edinburghers like to use and us folk from Glasgow hate.
Yes, I have been called as such by the uncouth.
I said in my finest posh Glaswegian accent.
He snorted whilst trying to decipher what I had said.
I snorted too. A snort that proclaimed East Coast folk to be less than Scottish.
El Jefe capered on the spot with delight.
Excellent. Excellent! Well, BoomDawg this is El Marron. He is the head of operations for our East Coast division!
I nodded my head to El Marron. He nodded back with a grin like an idiot child poking a stick in a a dog's anus.
He was short and stocky with wiry brown hair poking up from all sorts of places. I assumed he was a fetid thatchy nightmare for his wife.
El Marron stepped forward.
Now whur aw here like. We huv a loat tae dae eh? Whur gonnae ha' tae set up aw these desks. Ah hope yur no afraid of sum hard work!
I mean fucking what? What was that meant to be? How can he have gotten where he was by talking like a dog with a stone in its mouth?
We got divided into teams and for the rest of the day lifted furniture about. I was over the moon because by any measurement moving desks about is a piece of piss.
El Jefe caught up with me toward the end of the day.
Hard work eh! You will be sore tomorrow!
I presumed he meant from lifting things and not because I was going to get a punishment double ending from him and El Marron.
Oh yes, I guess I will.
I said in my best whining voice. I made a face as if to imply that it was the worst job I had ever had.
El Jefe grinned so hard at my perceived discomfort, he looked like Pac-Man.
Haha, magnificent. There will be more of this tomorrow and the days to come!
He strutted off victoriously as if he had finally laid the egg that had been stuck up his tobacco box.
When he was out of sight, I let out a happy sigh.
Oh yeah, this is soooo hard.
I smirked to myself.
When I finished, I got on the train and read my Kindle whilst slurping happily away at a coffee. Eventually I got home.
The good lady looked up sympathetically as I came in.
Oh heya. How was it? Was it awful? Was it dull?
I made a cat eating tofu face.
Yeah, it's terrible lass.
Oh poor you! I will do the bedtimes tonight, you should sit down and relax. Grab a beer maybe?
Really?
I beamed.
Cheers chick, hopefully it will get better.
Ooh, I remember when I was studying and working there was always somebody on big position talking some dialect that you could hardly understand...I didn't know that IT Sector was about moving desks and fixing...Actually, I remember my friend PhD professor on Mechanical Engineering faculty when I asked Him once, how intellectual world is going there ? He said ugly, because that day the professors were fighting for desks, who will take which one...
I want to say, this Kali Yuga time made different lunatics and idiots be on highest positions and You can hardly understand them what they say...
Lol, my job shouldnt really involve lugging desks about but they have decided that if we do it it will save them money!
I have real trouble understanding the folk from the other side of Scotland and I have to sepend the next two weeks pretending I do! lol
And if you pretend, that you understand how will you get the job done ? Somehow,...El Jefe is the Chief in Spanish, I get this and this other Dialect guy he is Brown one ?
Thats right, its not their real names. I like to give them spanish aliases :OD
I know what has to be done without being told. So I am laughing!
So, that's cool, entendio...I like them calling others with -cita or -ita...La Tatjancita,...
Ah si, es muy bien!! ;O)
So the folk from Auld Reekie on the Firth of Forth are near-sassenachs?
I write this in this way to confuse non-native speakers.
In my humble opinion, yes, yes they are!!
Beautiful city though, at least parts of it. Prettier than Glasgow.
I'll hide now.
Hide!!!!
It has some merit. I will give you that at least :0)
Thankfully I only have to put up with the braying East Coast donkeys two days a week, but my god they feelike long days surrounded by em...
braying is the word!
Oh my, you came out on top today! And got to end it with beer and relaxing time to boot, lol. Well done! :)
I did, I feel like I have started a two week holiday! LOL!
Hehehe. Take full advantage of that feeling - who knows when it will come again! LOL.
I do like to seize the day! :0)
What's with the awful names developers are giving these new buildings? Callista? what?!! That's awful!
We have a new building in a nearby town- stores on the first level with 2 floors of apartments above. it's on the property site of the torn-down dilapidated Post Office and also near a train stop. They could have named it The Station! or The Post! but nooooo! It's called The Clarus! Ewwwww! What is that, some kind of zit creme? or some kind of body part no one is sure of?
And the restaurant at street level is called The Cassidy. Ok, fine, but what's with these C names?!
Anyhoo, I can't believe you took a train all the way to Edinburgh just so to move the desks about.
The Clarus, lol!! Yeah, they are going nuts for that kind of thing. Ihave noticed that ones starting with C are very popular. Anything latiny sounding lol!
Yeah, I have lucked out. I knew it would be like this. The worst it will get to will be connecting up pc's! Well, I hope, hehe
Ummm, I feel that this: Now whur aw here like. We huv a loat tae dae eh? Whur gonnae ha' tae set up aw these desks. Ah hope yur no afraid of sum hard work! Is exceedingly close to the Scottish accent I tried to capture in my books hahaha!! No wonder you harassed me about it, weegie. LOLOL!!!
But of course now and forevermore I will always think of West Coast Scotsmen to be the best coast Scotsmen! (You have to think the opposite in terms of Americans of course, here East is Beast ;)
Hope you enjoyed that beer!
I think there must be a sweet spot in the atlantic and the closer you are to it the cooler you are. Given that I am on the west of Scotland and you the East of Hamerica that makes us as cool as biscuits!
The east coast accent is awful! It truly sums up the term burr. They all say eh a lot. Annoying gits
I don't really like ride longer than 45min but having a seat make it better.
hmm... and a table is even better. i would have got my laptop out too unless there are things and scene to watch outside.
I am taking my laptop today! :O)
You the man.
Hehe ;0)
Hmmmmm, If my lass tells me she is going to do the bedtimes tonight I think my expectations might be a little different. No one has offered to do the bedtimes for me for a long time. LOL Did you get a close look at that guy's mouth? Maybe he has had his teeth knocked out before for saying stupid things like "I hope you're not afraid of some hard work". Hey, look at that. I am a translator of the critically stupid.
I know, it was the silliest thing ever. Duh, I thought I was just coming here to drink coffee!! It's not even hard work. For me it was a welcome break lol!!
Awesome! Grab a beer alright! I had one tonight and I didn’t even have to go to Edinburgh! So you’re riding the train back and forth? I figured you would be staying there for some reason, how far away are the two cities?
I had three!
They really arent that far. Scotland is tiny. I think it is around fifty miles, works out almost exactly an hour of joy on the train.
I had the option to stay but I didnt want to leave the family at the little booms age
Come on, Edinburgh is a magic place! I really loved it, when I visited it.
Give yourself time to adjust.
A cat eating tofu face? LOL
It's a great place but nothing compared to bonny Glasgow. Ahhh, the truly great city :O)
Did you really changed your job or it is just a fiction?
I am in the same job, I have been volunteered to another office for a couple of weeks :O)
Well, at least you get a work out without the gym! And a beer at home to relax after a hard day at the office. Should El Jefe have it all set up before he moved everyone?
Okay best of luck
Oh no, that is part of the joy. Why pay people to come in and set up the office when they can farm us out to do it instead. It feels like its meant to be a punishment but it actually feels like a reward :OD
As long as the boss never figures it out...enjoy it!
I look the very image of penitent misery ;OD
Keep your health and hair better than work ;)
Hahahah!! Yes, I do agree!!!
I hope he doesn't have your steemit account and read this lol ("it's what I call a vomit of sincerity").
I take it you didn't despise that good lady's beer? Or maybe two.
Hehe, I am safe for as long as steemit isnt very popular in Scotland!
The beers were lovely :OD
I hope in the following days you can try to learn his accent and work with him as he is the head! Upvoted!
HAhaha, I might mock him by speaking in his accent! lol!
Hrmmm.... No nappy duty and a beer and couch allowance.
I think you should ask for a 3 month assignment!!!
Lol, It could be good!!
Good luck on this new venture - I have a feeling the good lady will just feel sorry for you the first 3 days or so, then it is back to normal, so you better enjoy it while you can
I have a feeling it might be short-lived too!!
Mr Marron sounds like a moron! You could always work with earphones in your ears listening to relaxing music while doing this HARD work...but that should not be a problem since you are so good at lifting weights with your flabby wings...lol
I am a monster at lifting things. I just roast and they fly into the sky!! ;0)
hahahah. steam is everywhere, you inspire us to always achieve a real nonsense idea. thanks @meesterboom
Well I am glad of that!
Yes.. I'm too
This is a really funny and entertaining story. I enjoyed reading this. I hope you'll enjoy your new office.
Regards.
Cheers and thank you for reading!
a very good travel story @meesterboom, I really like, hopefully your work can be smooth and successful, I can only support you @meesterboom
You are doing a fine thing, thank you!
yes, hopefully i can do good thing always please help me @meesterboom
I have lit a candle and am sending you good vibes and positive thoughts
Thank you @meesterboom
You are welcome
Yes
Buen post , me gusto,saludos.
Hooo, the Edinburgh mogul arrived. What a unique name for the building, I was wondering who was thinking the name, the reading went well until it was time to imagine the face of "El Marron." As it is the face of an idiot child putting a stick in the anus of a dog "I could never imagine it.
Excellent reading dear friend @meesterboom
I wish you a happy rest
Well @meesterboom, I thought that in Edinburgh you would be receive as Lewis Hamilton entering the podium of winners: with champagne, girls and cheering ... but everything has its time and its moment, at the end of this job in Edinburgh, You will come out like the great bullfighters in a great bullfight: on shoulders:
Just start the story ... Regards
All the worry for nothing! I didn't know that east and west had beef. Ah well, I'm sure you'll make the best of your time there. I feel like the task given to you is a waste of your talents, but I'm glad you're having a blast there, bro-skelion!