I shoved through the doors of the beer shop as if they were the beef curtains of an elderly aunt.
Good afternoon!
I boomed at the Bear-Man who leapt a little in fright at my rambunctious swagger.
Ey op, lad.
He muttered uncertainly. As if fearful that I was come to ask if a certain glass slipper would fit his 'dainty' foot.
I cupped a hand to my mouth and spoke in a low conspiratorial voice.
I'm looking for something a bit different today. Something... Unusual?...
The Bear-Man shuffled from foot to foot.
Aye, unusual is it?
He stroked his beard and eyed me cautiously as if worried that I might produce a shoehorn and attempt to insert myself into his one-eyed Jeffrey.
Yes. I'm looking for something... Canadian.
It was true, the inestimable @nonameslefttouse had set me a challenge. Buy a Canadian beer and drink it or something like that.
I knew at once that Canadian beer must be awful and horrid and this must be a test similar to the cinnamon challenge.
Canadian? Like, Canadian beer? Why?
Asked the Bear-Man his face a wrinkled and bearded mass of confusion.
Why? Um, a Canadian chap I know asked me to try one and I said...
Is she blonde?
Interrupted the Bear-Man.
I made a garrumphing noise. My forehead furrowing down over my eyes like soggy wholemeal bread.
She!? She is not a she. She is a he.
I stated with a small measure of indignation.
Bear-Man nodded then slowly winked at me.
Is she now? Eh! Eh?
I decided to reel the conversation back on track, I mean for fuck sake, my lunch was only an hour.
So. Canadian beers, you got any?
Bear-Man made a ruminating noise which sounded like that vibratory lip thing that Italian men do to their ladies kazoos.
I had one. Sold out.
He appraised his shelves with a practiced eye.
Was popular, could get some back in, if you like?
He grunted amenably.
Aye, if you would that would be nice.
I replied, trying my best to maintain my swagger despite feeling a bit let down.
The Bear-Man leant forward.
So, your girlfriend. This Canadian, would she like a Milkshake IPA?
He magicked a can of something slightly awful looking from beneath the counter.
I looked at it and then him.
She's not my... Oh fuck it, aye, I am sure she would.
Maybe I'll send you a blonde blow up doll from Canada and you can trade it for a Canadian beer, just to satisfy that man's fetish. He might even ask you to man the counter while he goes out back to give it a test run. Then YOU can be the man who sells the nectar and your life will come full circle.
My life works be complete. It would be fate!! It is my destiny!!!
I've already been hunting for one to purchase online. They are expensive and since I used a search bar, I've probably been added to the database where they keep the list of pervs. Maybe you can hire a local drunk, offer it a shower, and glue a blonde wig on there somewhere, then send him into the store. Give him one line. "Eh." I doubt he'd screw that up.
Can they add you twice?
I don't know if there are any funks left that I haven't hired and fled a blonde wig to...
Repeat offender perv watchlist. I don't think that's a good list to be on. I think that means a lifetime subscription to public body cavity search and seizures in front of a news team every day at 6 and then again at 11.
Yeah, that's one that is definitely not one to be hankering after! Hahaha. Danger danger!!
That's a lot of hair there.. reminds me of those clean cut new romantic lot from the 80's...
Hehe, it was very similar back in the day. I had long metal hair then got it cut for a job just before the millennium!!
I immediately thought on this cartoon (because of the hairstyle)
Great lol , video too (spookey) ,
:oD
Hahaha, that's very apt for the hairstyle!!
You should make some prison style wine out of grape juice and bread and do a taste test post.
Hahahah, yes, I fear I might already know which would taste better! :O)
I don't know about these new milkshake IPA's, I did hear about one that was supposedly good, but the pineapple one I tried at K2 tasted like straight up juice. Sweet, not very carbonated, juice- it was the perfect beer for those who don't like beer, which made it not for me!
Yeah, it has to be beery and then milshakey!!!
So you and your Canadian girlfriend doing milkshake ipa tasting video together then 🤣
Posted using Partiko iOS
Lol, that would be funny if somehow it could happen!!!
I’m sure you could find a way 🤣
Posted using Partiko iOS
Like that kind of technology is surely years away!!?! :0D
Not that far from the articles I’ve been reading 😨
And unfortunately we’ll just have to live with my pathetic weasel words as my brain remembers content but not citations and it’s terribly inconvenient 🤣
Posted using Partiko iOS
It might be a great thing, being meshed up to the world brain and becoming immortal!!!
Cool art. I like how she is looking out at the viewer like "check us out", and you are clearly distracted :)
Friday must be a fun day for you as beer review planning day. Must be tempting sometimes to sit back on a lazy Friday night and open one early.
I was quite chuffed when I finished that one. It's hard to get the skin to match without Photoshop and using only a phone!
It's very tempting! Fortunately though, Friday is wine with the good lady night!!
First I laughed at the pic, then the video and the writing. Oh you are an entertainer. You will still have to find that Canadian beer or blonde........ which ever one comes first.
Fingers crossed it's the blonde ;0) wahahahaha!!
Lol. That might be your best artwork yet. Better than a Milkshake IPA I'm guessing.
Hehe, it's pretty good eh!! I was quite happy with it!!
Never tried a Canadian beer!
Posted using Partiko Android
I think I might have bit didn't know :0)
That cinnamon women is thick. I am sure she could have found a bigger spoon. I am working back to front as watched your beer tastings and forgot I skipped the purchasing of the beers.
Haha, she is thick but it's a glorious thick she pays on it but at the same time I don't doubt she is utterly thick. I laughed so hard the first time I saw that
LOL you have outdone yourself with this thumbnail it got my eye and its freaking hilarious. I've been drinking Canadian beer all my life I just didn't know it. Apparently South Africa's favourite beer Black Label is actually Canadian, I'm still coming to terms that I am living a lie
Ha, you have been!! Apparently there are loads of kinds. Who knew!! I did like this thumbnail, I like hair! :0D
Canadian beer? What's the point?
I don't know. I think it's a game or something to while away the dark months?
I drank moonshine out of a hockey skate.
The only Canadian alcohol I've heard aboot (that might be a double pun.)
Sounds like a learning experience!
Aboot, aye!! I believe they have some nice ones. It is now my mission to get a hold of one!
hahaaa tomorrow should be good. I shall patiently await it even though patience isn't my strong suit.
Hehe, I hope so. The can of pineapple milkshake isn't quite making me all frothy!!
arghh..i think i threw up a lil in my mouth @ pineapple milkshake beer ...I love pineapple milkshakes and I love beer but I don't want pineapple milkshake beer
Well tonight we shall see if pineapple milkshake beer actually makes me throw up!! Lol
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