I was sitting, faffing with my phone when I felt the weight of the good lady's gaze sitting heavily on me.
I looked up. Indeed, she was looking at me through oddly narrowed eyes as if peering through a blizzard of arse feathers.
Can I help you?
I asked.
Hmmm.
Was her response.
I don't know about you but that doesn't rate as much of a response on the boom-o-meter.
She was still squinting at me, like I was a Toad and she was ferret wearing a bow-tie.
I decided to go on the offensive.
You see something you like babycakes?
I growled seductively, running a thumb from ear to chin through the magnificently beefy foilage on my face.
Her face lit up.
Ah! Yes!
I could almost hear the mechanical clicks and scrapes as things moved into place in her mind.
She cocked her head to one side.
Do you remember, a few weeks ago, we were joking about and I said something like 'ha, it's not as if you could grow a beard anyway,' remember that?
I stroked the dormant brown bear that now nestled on my chin thoughtfully.
Hmm, I don't think I remember that at all. Nope. Not in the slightest?
Oh but I do remember you evil bastard. I remember well the assault on the very bastion of my mannity. I remember and I also never forget. My vengeance will be long and terrible and most likely penis shaped...
No, doesn't ring any bells...
I murmured, nestling back in the armchair.
She made a face as if eating Kimchi made of feet skin.
Well. Perhaps you don't remember... You have proved me wrong though. You can most certainly, without the slightest doubt grow a beard.
There never was any doubt sweetcheeks.
I said loftily, activating my selfie camera and taking another belfie of the beard.
Well now you have proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt feel free to shave it off?
She beamed hopefully.
I cast an eye at her like a ping pong ball at a frat party.
Hmm.
I responded enigmatically, twiddling what might one day be a twiddlable moustache hair.
Perhaps.
Smart move
Hehe, yes indeed!! :0)
Learn from young generation and grow my friend :)
I try to learn every day!! It's the only way!
I know, we are to young for ignorance :)
I like that kind of thinking... Yes we are!!
See you on the top
And the lustrous beard persists! I am green with envy, bro-dega! Your facial fluff lives to see the light of morrow! My phantom beard shall live vicariously through yours...
Is there ever any other kind?
Why I don't think there is any other kind!
Hehe, it's still here. Still annoying but will surviving!
I was wondering how long before the request for a shave...
Hehe, it wasn't too long at all!
You need my son's shirt lol.
Lol, I do actually!
She's playing you. Resist.
I think she has been played!
Husband Hubris.
Damn, now I really want some kimchi, with extra funk.
All of that funk. Mmm mmm!
That first "hmm" is never a good sign. The coy before the small storm. I hope you get to keep the new chin locks...they're fun. Took me a long time to finally get a decent crop myself. Tell her the third to 8th time is probably a charm. (That might get more than a hmmm.) A belfie, now that's a new one. Hope you get to keep the bear chinskin.
I swither between liking it and hating it. I didn't realise there was so much effort into growing one and the tickling madness too!
The scratching and tickling wanes, it usually gets thicker each time you start over, and it WILL keep you warmer in the cold winds. Plus, make you more confident and bolder in public as well (a very interesting sideline). But on the flip side, if the missus diss'us it, NOTHING will keep you warm when relegated to sleeping on the hard, concrete of the garage floor.
And that floor is hard and cold!
That is interesting if it gets thicker each time I start over. That only encourages me to get rid of it and try again soon!!
Sounds like you have some experience in the carport ( :
As for the rest, at least that was my experience. First couple of growths, pretty much looked like a scurvy rodent straight from the dryer that had a bad run in with a rusty razor. But after a few times, filled in pretty well. Now it actually looks somewhat presentable. At least that's what MY other half says. Though I suppose it's all genes, like anything else. But maybe you have some good, hairy ones. Try it, you might like it, and so might the good lady of the manse, as you become a flowing, studly dudly.
Has the boss spoken? Will boom succumb to these 'demands'? We shall see we when the next beers are tackled!
The proof will be in the pudding :0D
If you continue growing that will likely be the case!
Yikes is all I can say to that!!!
A few strange looks will be given if it's chocolate fudge night!
Aye, not least from the good lady if I tell her that's what night it is going to be!! Lol
hehe I see you are still up to your mischievous tricks! Your poor lovely wife, there is nothing worse than stubble rash xD
BB
Hehe, I am sure that is the case, fortunately she has no rash to fear by brushing up against my glossy mane ;O)
Hehehe funny .. perhaps she wants to test your patience , new day new learning, new life hehehe.
She just wants to own me!
I guessing coz that is intentional hehehe..she wants @meesterboom for herself ..
You have the upper hand here, what would she do for you to shave it off hahaha all your Christmas's come at once LOL
We are on exactly the same wavelength! Finally she has weakened to the beard!
Hmm, that's not quite how I would have interpreted that. Unless you meant she has been weakened BY the beard. I could see that. I'm only being cruel to be kind, you understand. The wellbeing of the Boom family being foremost in my mind.
Hahahhaha, alright then you might have it better there. Finally she has been weakened by the might of the beard into capitulating!! :OD
Oh boy. I didn't just hear you say that, did I? Have you met your wife? I'm starting to wonder if what has been weakened by the beard is something a few inches north of it... ;-)
You could be right. Maybe it's growing mostly inward!!! Yeek!!
Ha! That could explain a few things!
You now have the power... haha
Well done. You might as well shave it off, it's not like you could grow a BIG beard anyway. wink
Hehe, you are exposing my master plan ;0D
Just blame me! Everyone else already does.....
I could never blame another chilli head!! :0)
Pure genius. Great piece of writing ✍️.
Thank you!
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@meesterboom hello dear friend, the struggle between man and woman for the beard and long hair is old, it is clear that our beautiful cause some kind of shock in our ladies. well played
I wish you a wonderful night
haha! sir meesterboom oh no...not the the magnificently beefy foilage! She may grow to like it.