Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic...
Arthur C Clarke
Right now, in Dundee, it is 2 degrees Celsius with cloudy skies. Today's forecast is rain with a high of 3 degrees and a low of 2 degrees.
Stated Alexa, my Amazon Echo device.
My Father-in-law Stubby stared in astonishment at the black cylinder which had just spoken.
He was visiting from the far Northern wastes of Scotland where everyone is a farmer or a fisherman and they all speak as if they are chewing rocks.
I walked over and patted Alexa on the head like a faithful dog.
Cool, eh?
I said.
Stubby didn't look as if he thought it was cool. Stubby looked half terrified and half outraged. As if he had dreaded this day was coming. Either that or he had gotten an erection at Alexa's silkenly sexy voice.
I hoped it wasn't the latter.
How did it dae that?
He said hoarsely in his coarse Dundonian accent.
He had turned his body slightly to the side. Either as if to run or if he indeed had a mini stubby down below.
It listens out for the command word which is its name, Alexa and then when it hears that it wakens and does what you ask, if it can.
Said I with all the blaseness of a 21st-century livin' man.
But how does it understand ye?
He said. His accent thickening by the moment, no doubt like some kind of defence mechanism.
Well, not to get into the specifics but it sends what it hears to the main servers somewhere and they deduce what you mean with a combination of algorithms and machine learning kind of stuff.
Stubby backed up a step. He looked both repelled and fascinated as if he had stuck his hand up a cow's arse and found a potato.
You mean it listens to you all the time?
Yeah, but it listens for the keyword Alexa. I wouldn't think they would be arsed monitoring everything.
But it listens...
He hissed as if resenting having Alexa listen to him even now.
Aye, ok. It listens.
I wouldnae have one of them in my house. That, is a fact.
He stated grimly as if Alexa was a Welshman doing that funny dance with the ribbons that they all do.
I sighed. Fucking luddites.
Well, Stubby. You don't have to worry about ever having one of these in your house.
How no?
He bristled as if he might just invite one in for a fight or a sexy party just to spite me.
You don't have the internet.
He paused.
Oh aye, right. Neither we do.
Fucking luddites.
High time that the Dundonites do the visiting. It's great the they get a taste of what it's like in the world now. Must be refreshing living in a world without the internet.
The problem is that technology has moved at such a pace it has left a large group out in the cold. It is the older generation, but I can't laugh as I am not up to speed on this stuff. At least I am on a block chain which is more important in my eyes right now.
Being on the blockchain is a huge advantage over others. Having no internet though. I can't even fathom it!
I have the google version of alexa... google home, love that thing! Now I don't need to move a single inch from the couch to change things in netflix, to put music on, damn... If the damn thing could order me pizza and a "girl" I would marry it!! My grandfather laughed for almost 10 minutes when i made google home "mooowing" like a cow ahahah
Hope everything is going great with u boom! I've been learning other "life skills" so I haven't posted in 6 months, finally had the courage to restart posting xD
I read your post! I was like wow, it's all been happening!!
Thanks for reading! More posts to come this week! xD I'm back baby!
I missed reading ur funny stories xD
Hehe, cheers man, it so be good seeing you around again!
Most of my friends are like that... We don't have many things in common anymore...
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Hehe, yeah, my own family are like that too. I just insult them less :0)
"Alexa listens to you all the time"…
Ok, that gave me the chills. Excuse me for a minute, I'll get my aluminium hat.
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Hehe, she does indeed. Thankfully she doesn't have a webcam... :0)
You don't have to be a luddite to be wary of having Personal Information Gathering Systems in your house ...
I am quite sure the screaming chaos of a typical mealtime/bedtime is of great interest tothem... :0P
Does your Alexa have a Scottish accent? If it does please post a video that would be awesome to listen to.
Lol, regrettably not. Bog standard, slightly push English American Alexa!
I can clearly remember a night in 1995 with our friends all sitting around the dinner table drinking wine with all our rugrats running around the house, and we were in a conversation that was astounding to me. My friend Ellyn said "we will be able to go shopping" on the computer. I could not wrap my head around that. Email wasn't even a thing yet. Shopping on the computer was a concept beyond all our wee little brains.
Hehe, it is crazy thing about it. I remember times like that well. Things like people asking but what will you use it for? About email and shaving their head when you said what for, lol
Oh I def asked "why do you need an app? ; what's all the fuss about?" lol....I"ve always been a bit slow when it comes to change. However, I am way ahead of many. People say what is steem? I say, well, you've heard of bitcoin right? blank stares.....
;-)
Haha, that makes you wildly ahead of the curve!!
LOL. I remember the first time the camp family saw an escalator. There was no way up to Grandma. They went up the normal stairs 6 floors, because they didn't want to go up the elevator either! But family is family.:)
Lol, that is quite wild just at an escalator! But you are right, family! Although it's easier to scoff at the in-laws ;0)
Potatoes, they get everywhere!
Damn awkward things, you just never know where they are gonna turn up!!
I read about an Irish fella who required a spud to be removed from you know where who claimed he slipped in the kitchen, cleaning the windows or something. 'Course you did lad!
Hahaha!! Oh man, the things you read about and the terrible excuses for them. Some of them are so cringe worthy!!
I fell on it...
Aye, of course you did!
Do you think this is what the fucking luddites are "resentful" of? I hope it wasn't the latter too :-)
I think that be it, fear of the new overlords! And especially if they are pretty overlords! :0)
I have heard that some people get off on dominatrixes/overlords (but then your father-in-law isn't a politician, is he.
The very furthest from that possible!
It's when it starts recording/remembering things or silently listening out for other trigger words that you have to start worrying ;D [storyseed]maybe they're doing that right now and are hoping no one finds out :O[/storyseed]
If there is a trigger word to be heard then quite frankly I would be amazed! Lots of poop words though!
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STOPAlexa, tell me how handsome and sexy I am
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I just tried that, she wasn't sure. The cheeky witch!
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haha! I kinda agree with Stubby. lol. I have not reason too though so I guess I'm a total dinosaur! Luddites...is that like peons?
It's exactly like peons!!! :0D