Champion the wonder horse... Champion the Wonder Hoooooorse!!
I sat in the lounge as some ridiculous theme tune to some ancient TV show blared out of Alexa. It was sunny. The temperature was even threatening to get into double figures celsius today.
A freezing draught of cold air streamed steadily through the open back window along with the sound of the neighbour cutting something woody with something buzzy.
BZZZrrrrrrZZZZZZrrrrrrrwwwwwwwrrrrwwwwrrrrrZZZZZZZZ!
I shook my delicate head. What in the name of fuck was the neighbour up to? It was half-past nine. I hadn't even finished my first coffee yet.
My head pounded. I had overindulged on the wine last night.
I blamed The Handmaid's Tale. I and the Good Lady had started watching it and had gone full binge.
As a result, last night was a blur of wine and mysogny. I fought the urge to check my orders on Amazon as I had the distinct feeling I may have ordered the Good Lady a red cloak.
Hey, Daddy-Bear. You got a minute?
The Good Lady asked as she wandered into the room.
I snorted and looked up from the mess of foil and broken chocolate that surrounded me.
Too many eggs.
I grunted like a mad thing surrounded by tutting fat people.
The Good Lady made a half sympathetic, half disgusted face at the snuffling creature I had become.
Then stop eating them. When I said the kids had too many eggs, I didn't mean you to hoover up the excess?!
The Good Lady came over and snatched up the remaining eggs.
So, Daddy-Bear. Can we have a quick chat?
Even through the fog of a brutal hangover, my spidey-sense twitched and honked out a red alert to my brain.
Of course, my darling. What is it?
I said as smoothly as I could given that I was caked in stolen chocolate and smelled slightly over-ripe.
You have been on holiday from work for a week now and well, to be frank, you have drank every single night.
She made a face like a dog chewing liquorice.
Every night? Oh, come now milady. You do me a disservice? I haven't drank every night?
I attempted to make a pfft noise but my innards were too dry and instead all that came out was a sad sounding deflationary hiss.
Oh yes, it has been every single night. In fact, some nights you have been mad drunk.
She said this matter of factly as if talking to an imbecile who drank too much.
Mad drunk... Heh heh.
I chortled and tried to high five myself.
So, do you think you should have a dry night tonight?
She said this without the slightest hint of hilarity.
I sneaked a glance at my phone to make sure that I wasn't being April Fooled. Nope, it was the 3rd. No April Fool. Champion the Wonder Horse was still blaring.
I was either caught in a time loop of hell or it was on repeat.
Have a dry night tonight? A Saturday night? A holiday Saturday night? An Easter holiday weekend night? I... I... I don't think that's possible. It's against the law or something?
I twitched at the thought of not drinking on Easter Saturday.
The Good Lady cocked an impatient eyebrow at me.
There is no law. Think about it at least.
She got up from the half-crouch she had had to adopt to look into my bleary eyes and paced off.
BZZZrrrrrrZZZZZZrrrrrrrwwwwwwwrrrrwwwwrrrrrZZZZZZZZ!
The nieghbour's cutty saw thing blared on.
There is no law, eh?
If there was truly no law then maybe I would get up and go and ram the neighbour's chainsaw thing up his arse. There, that would show him.
I made a move to stand but flumped back down. Everything seemed to hurt.
He was definitely gonna get it but not right now.
Maybe tomorrow.
And so it begins...
Many a ruinous situation started with the words, "Can we have a quick chat?"...
First the drinking goes, then any other of the fun stuff is not long from the chopping block as it were...
I will be relieved to so drinking this week. I blame lockdown, I just couldn't stop!
Yes, I am still alive. Happy to see you are too!
Are those not just the best moments!!! I look forward to a few of those myself in the near future :)
Thanks - for that... "virtual aroma".... blegh! lol!
As we like to say here in South Africa... "Eish!
LOL!!! :D Tomorrow... it's only a day away
Ah that song and the memories, it brings them all flooding back!!
It's good to see you lady! I was reading your review the other night for frikadelen! I was quite interested because I love the damn things but have never gotten around to trying to make them. I will now though! :0)
!WINE !!
Have been meaning to pop by your feed for a while. I was doing so on a regular basis but was at a point in which you were not posting often - life took over, as it does... and here we are.
As for the frikkadels... Best you do a pairing! ;) Now THAT would be a good post!
I remember, work and everything was getting mental so I pulled back a bit and then when everything was calmer returned, like a beautiful butterfly! :OD
hahahaha!!!! Graceful and elegant right... lol. (This was an interesting visual) All I got was a butterfly with your face pasted on it's head. :D
Yeah, life - she happens!
I have been in a bit of an "up and down" swing of the same too... so have not been as good as I was with getting to reading content these days... am trying to get out of my cocoon so I can flit around again like you, lol.
Have a lekker Thursday!
Flitting around is the key!!
Let us all spread our wings and be butterflies!!
!WINE
... and not fly into pristine glass doors :D
Cheers for the Wine!
Sounds like you need the dry night XD
Did the neighbour get it tomorrow?
I neither has the dry might nor the neighbour got it.
A sad state of affairs, however dry weekery starts today! Sob
You cheater! What are you doing all morning and afternoon! Up your game!
You are right. I have been wasting opportunity!! I need to get a hold of myself!! :0D
You have been wasting opportunity man! You might as well be dry if you are slacking off that way. That may work out after all... Did I see that you are going to do a man bun?
Selfie or it didn't happen!
I would be lucky if I could manage a manbun! I might find a picture of someone who has though :OD
If there isn't any law, you will definetely invent it hahaha. Dry nights sound so horrible to you so I get you. Your hairstyle is getting better and better, I like it hahha. Next time maybe a man bun? 😂
A man bun, more that is just crazy talk! Perhaps the dry nights this week will change my thinking :0D
Again..this is what we do :D
You cant blame the girl as we are hired for it. Play some 'Stereophonics' with the maybe tomorrow song and she will totally instantly forgive you always.
Hehe, I used to love the Stereophonics. They were a great band. I could probably play any of their songs and be forgiven! :O)
Amazon packages at the door don't spLeL out what day it is, they're non-stop. Thanks for the Easter heads up! And now I know it's Sunday, too.. you're a regular fuggin calendar!
I am reminder man!! Soon people can do away with their calendars and just put me in their pocket to remind them of things!!
Champion the wonder horse? Shades of Black Beauty enter my head, it's about the same era... right? !WINE.
I didn't drink any beer, wine, whisky.. last night. Tonight will be different.
It is the same era! I am baffled though. I dont know how the kids managed to hear of such stuff. It certainly never came from me! I suspect the Good Lady could be tricking me but it right just have passed her by a few years so it is baffling!!
!WINE
That wine.. it's not working, where do we complain?!
There's a thing. I don't even know who runs it. I wonder if it's the bots in general?
!BEER
Beer one is working fine
It is... double-beer! !BEER. I don't use beer as much as I should.
I sorta forgot about it! I think I like wine better. When it works!
Double beer though, happy Easter! :0D
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Holey shit. I forgot it was Easter. Thank you for this wonderful information.
Eggs. It's the day of eggs.
Rabbits too. Think that about covers it
Champion the wonder horse.
Ah yes, we simply cannot forget him. How he came to be playing in my house I have no idea!
Probably the most ridiculous earworm that's ever crawled into my brain. Why did you do that, man?
It was done to me and it has compelled me to pass it on. Like a zombie virus!
Next they'll be telling us to put cotton in our ears...
I hope your good lady doesn't have any access to your Hive account or Hive comments, because what I'm about to comment here may ruin your "one day" of the entire year.
Now, if I revealed this info here and your good lady knew what could make you a really, really good Christian, do you still really think one Saturday without wine is still that tragic?
Aaaaand because i don't know whether your good lady can look into your Hive account or not, I won't reveal this info here, at least not untill you let me know that your Hive account is completely secured and not accessible by anyone but you.
HAGD!!!
That was my favourite kids program that only got shown during the school holidays when they tried to fill in the morning schedules after WDYJGADSLBI had finished!
A night of YouTube beckons! Damn, I need a life!
I live in a Buddhist country hence Easter is t an issue however we have 5 dry days throughout the year that require a little advance planning and a friendly mom and pop shop ;-)
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