Today I had the fortune not to be at work. Instead, me and the little lady had day off together and had decided to do something fun and funky.
As is typical of Scotland, it was pishing down with rain.
Not to be deterred I asked the little lady what she wanted to do today. I expected the answer to be softplay or some such twoddle and merrily slurped my coffee whilst she pondered.
She looked out the window with some annoyance.
It's raining.
Why yes my darling. You have your Daddy's rapier-like wit!
What's a raper?
Ahem, let move on lass. Silly daddy talking rubbish as ever. What would you like to do today?
I want to see a monkey.
Phew. I aint a fan of zoos but anything that stopped her asking me what a raper was every five minutes for the next seven hours was a win-win for me. In no time at all we were out and pulling up outside a local mini zoo place that I knew had monkeys.
We traipsed through the botanic glasshouse section around a Coffee plant (which was flipping massive) and came upon the Capuchin monkey enclosure. My daughter excitedly ran up to the glass and watched them leap about in awe.
Being the devoted parent I whipped out my phone and checked the price of my crypto coins before hurriedly scrolling through my steemit feed.
I glanced up to make sure my daughter hadn't managed to break in and ride the monkeys around like little ponies.
A monkey was staring at me. He was a deep looking sort. I found myself transfixed by his big intelligent brown eyes. What are you trying to tell me oh wise one? I thought.
He raised a hand slowly, ever so slowly and turned the palm out to face me. I couldn't help it. I raised a hand palm out back at him. We were communicating! He lowered his palm to his side. Entranced, I mirrored his move.
He wrinkled his nose and squeezed out a fat cigar-like poo before lifting it and chewing on it thoughtfully.
Daddy why is that monkey eating his poo?
Obviously taking the fucking piss but I declined from saying that.
Good question lass, who knows. Monkeys are silly.
Millions of questions on monkey poo later we arrived home, tired but happy. Mummy had finished from work. My little lass bounded over to her.
Mummy! What's a raper?
The good lady looked at me quizzically.
I sighed. Some days you just can't win.
I love going to the Zoo and seeing the monkeys. It's always great to see where we as humans have our origins from. It's even important really, to be reminded that sometimes the leap in evolution isn't that big as we think. Eating poopoo is definitely a wrong thing to do, but I know a lot of people who talk shit on a daily basis.. Which isn't all that better in my opinion.
Another great read @meesterboom ! I've been really loving your blogs ever since I joined 3 months ago. Keep up the good work :)
Lol, you are right. I have known a lot of shit takers but not eaters hehe.
Cheers man, I really do appreciate the support! I love seeing animals close up and I genuinely thought there was a magical moment when the money was looking at me lol turns out he just needed a shit and a munch!
Maybe it truly was a magical moment and the monkey tried to speak to you, maybe even warn you. What could it be that he wanted to say? Is humanity going down because of all the garbage junk food we consume? Are we walking towards our own death believing all the shit our politcal leaders force down our throats? Dear god, this monkey is a prophet!
Or ya know, just your good ol' regular shit n munch
I am gonna go with prophet it makes everything click more easily in my head :0)
you're one sweet lovin hell of a dad minus the hell
I asked the same question
what's a raper? :P
and .. what? monkey eating poo - ewe ~~
Never ask that question. No good Will come of it!!! ;0)
On my opinion, I think that monkeys as most of animals are better free. We also can travel in wild places to see them more than puting them in cage... But.. World is world, and things goes like that
Definitely, all animals should be free if they can survive. I don't mind them caged as long as it's for the best of the animal and the preservation of the species via mating programs etc. Sadly, that's not always the case :(
Sure... In this way it's a good action. Was more talking about pure showing places, to make money with them jailed. Have a good sunday @jerrev
Finally caught up to another installment of Fun Times with Boom and the Little Lady haha! Because it is! Too bad Boom Jr wouldn't be able to tag team with his sis. At least there'll be a continuity of this father-child moments.
When I read soft play was involved, I was intrigued whether this was about another run-in with your juvenile rival. There are those days where you just can't win haha! Trust your daughter to get you in trouble with the missus every time you show off some verbal gymnastics that go above her head haha!
I guess the monkey eating its own shit is a great way to represent the day haha!
It was a great way to represent the day!
Thankfully I have been spared the face of with my junior nemesis. I suspect the little tyke might now be in school. Tormenting the teachers :0)
You are back!! Online again. I have missed your presence!
I've almost caught up with everything I missed, so I'll be fully back in a while. Come to think of it, I was always here. Watching, waiting, lurking. Like a honeybadger.
You have to watch for them honeybadgers!!
Either way, whether I watch or not, they simply... don't care.
Aahhh kids! they just drink in the knowledge and then spit it out again and the most inopportune of moments. lol
A pleasure to read as always sir.
Thank you mate! They really do. The thing I have noticed most is when they are playing in the room and seemingly not listening then hours later ask what you meant when you said something untoward!!!
Some days....
Your posts make me feel happy! They really do!
Heheh, I am really glad they do. Thank you for reading them! You are awesome!
LOL. You have me in splits. As usual, you ended up creating a problem by using fancy words with the little lady and paid the price for it!! Raper !!! Hahaha, Funny.
Thank god your monkey mirroring moves stopped at the showing of palm and lowering your hand. Next thing would have been hard to mirror :)@meesterboom -
Thanks for sharing this experience. Made my day! Upvoted full.
Regards,
You are right, sometimes I cuss myself when I start talking and she listens raptly then asks me what the heck I have just said and repeats it badly!
I am glad I wasnt hypnotised into following the monkeys every move! :OD
She was distracted by the monkeys...until she got back home to the scene of the crime, hee, I think your rapier wit failed you on this occasion LOL!!
It did! I did a similar thing today. I never learn, a car came in our garden and she said he looked like a great cat and absent mindedly I said, oh that's a boy cat darling. She said, but how do you know and before I could stop myself I said well, its the testicles you see.
Cue much, what are testicles. All the way to bedtime. What do you do with them etc etc etc yaaar
LOL!!! Any time my husband made such a faux pas when my daughter was a tot, he'd always push it off on me to explain. Like the time when she was about three and he brought her out shopping with him and had to take her in the men's room to use the potty. Of course there was a dude at the urinal and it was the first time she'd ever seen 'one'. She demanded to know why the man's 'wee wee' looked like that and if all boys had ones like that, to which my darling hubby claimed "Daddy's know almost everything about everything, except for that, only mommy's know about that".
Oh he is a clever one!! I might be taking a leaf out of his book. After all it is true, mummy's do know everything and are the wisest of all creatures!! :0D
Capuchin monkeys are the smartest monkeys in South America. And they are pretty violent.
I volunteered in an animal rescue centre in the Amazon and the alpha female hated women and blonde women in particular. I wasn't paying attention one day and she almost scalped me. Then on another day one of her boyfriends came after me and I had to hide behind one the male volunteers in the first cage bit (since there's mulitple cages so they can't escape).
Good times!
Maybe he was sending me a signal Capuchin Mafia style!!!
Next time I am there I will stand in front of him and eat the most massive shit he has ever seen to show him decisively who is the fecking boss!!!
Lol. That would be so hilarious. He wouldn't be happy.
Dam right!! He would be off looking for some blonde girl to intimidate!! Hehe!!
Wow, what a day for new vocabulary.
Yep, I think I will keep my mouth closed for a while
My 4 year old nephew said "what's up my butts?" to my sister-in-law last week. Where does it come from?
That's a new one on me!! Bet it's a song!
Well Boom, I would say you went over and above the call of duty, per usual.
Of course this is proof positive that where more than one is involved, a secret is impossible to be kept.
I would never consider going anything less than above and beyond the call! :0D
I always wondered why monkeys and apes choose to either throw their shite at you or munch on it when we're standing around watching. Do you think it's a subtle message they're trying to send us?
If there is some kind of message I wish we could figure out what it was. It's one of the big questions!! ;0)
upvoted resteemed
Cheers lass!
Just say NO
to cigar-like poo @meesterboom ! Enjoy your day off man, I gotta go in and scrub pots for a pittance but hopefully not much longer. Love the entertaining post as always.
Damn them pots!! I hope it goes in quick for ya!! You moving on?
Cross your fingers brother - I am waiting on a background check for new employment opp to clear (completed 8/19). They wanted 7 yrs of residence history & I didn't even realize I've lived in 5 states in that time....no wonder I'm dizzy! Rock On . . .
Aw man, wishing you the very best then!!!
Why would it eat a popo lol, Oh no!!
I googled it after the fact and some of them just do!!
Devoted parent moment - I took the wee ones to library story time today and plopped them down front (mommy had a long week in this camp) and got lost in cryptoland, still fuming over the SEC interference with my 6000 percent ROI. Then fumbling through my bag looking for a power bar and trying to read this. It was too much. Why do zoos have monkeys? They are imbeciles and creepy furry poo eaters. Laughable, smelly, bush meat. That is all. SMH.
Ah you can't beat those devoted parent moments! What happened with your Crypto?
Glad you got to read it though! :0D monkeys are mental, I was not impressed!!
You have exhibited why the gross majority of us parents choose to let our vernacular stagger round and die. Losing your ability to speak to Toastmasters is nearly a right of passage. Alas, I live in America. Our schools leave much to be desired, particularly in vocabulary development/refinement. Rapier is a term suited for adult circles and fancy Scots.
Us fancy Scots love our fine tongue linguistics hehe!! You get to live in the land of the free!!
That's a touchy issue....yes, the Constitution still exists somewhere and we are free of British bondage, but there is a lot of monkey business behind the scenes.
Sadly its kinda the same here, only we arent free of the British :O)
All these centuries later and they keep hanging on. I'm fairly accurate in saying the Rothschild clan plays our puppet strings well. Nevertheless, at least monkeys can freely throw and eat poo universally. Caged or free :)
Haha yes indeed they can!
Good of the little one to know what she wants... To see a monkey! I wish I was so decisive and creative each day off! Bummer to hear about the "eating poo incident," but it certainly made a lasting impression and created a daddy/daughter memory, even to be cherished...perhaps. Certainly more exciting than zoning out watching cartoons and eating cheetos all day. (Although that can be fun as well at times ;) Cheers Papa! Well done!
Hehe, she does love a good zone out in front of the TV.
She is often decisisve that eway but then you get used to it and when you need her to be she isnt lol!
How beautiful is a day of walking to the zoo to see monkey, you are lucky that in your country the monkeys are educated, here they take the poop with their hands and throw it.
I wish you a beautiful day.
Excellent work dear friend @meesterboom, very funny as always
I never thought of the chance it might be thrown!! I will remember that for the next time!!!
Had a memorable zoo trip when I was young, when a monkey was spanking the monkey shall we say.
Meanwhile at home, the favourite word is ass, as I inadvertently said that was the word in a song they like. "Oh, I thought it said class".
Oh no, the questions!! That works have been horrendous!! Haha, yeah, I am lucky so far that their hasn't been a bad word yet but I am sure I am running out of time.. lol at class!
The monkey is my little brother
I know, most people wouldn't bother
to watch a monkey at the zoo
but I feel kind of blue
to see him in cage
it's really strange
I want to see him being free
Just like you and me.
poetrymarathon this weekend - This is poem number 10 I wrote!Hey @meesterboom thank you so much for your stories day in day out. I hope you like the little poem this post inspiref. I wrote it as part of my
I did like it! Number 10!! You are n a roll!
YES! I myself am exsited for my monday post where I tell how many I wrote! :) I am sure to sell some, too! Imagime to gift a poem next time you need a present. awemon, ha? ;)
I am excited to see your post too! I hope you sell a few! :O)
Oh @meesterboom, my wife is definitely going to commit me, sitting here on my phone giggling like a wee school boy at your post. I can only sum up this post in the words
Thanks as always for putting a smile on my face and giving me a genuine laugh :-)
The pleasure is all mine dude, thank you for your continued reading of my twaddle!!
It is twaddle of the highest order :-)
Hehe, yes indeed!
Its true, its almost always raining in Scotland!
I traveled there for 3 months living on the streets, in the forest, under bridges etc and it was almost always wet. Only thing they have more of in scotland than rain is beer!
hahaha
So very true. I often think that people living rough have it much easier in other places cos here the wet is a big factor! Tis awesome your lived here for a while!
Yes I loved the land of Scotland, visited some ancient 5,000 year old forests, really cool castles, and ALL the scotch distilleries ;-)>
It's a poorer land since it lost you :0)
Awwwwww ;-)>
And now we know one of the many reasons why Monkeys apparently don't make the best pets!
At least you shouldn't have to share your chocolate when watching a movie together!
Great work @meesterboom
Cheers matey!
You haven' learned yet...You never win when you have kids. They don't come with a volume knob, no operating manual, and a never ending loop of questions.
Oh I know of th enever ending loop! You are right, there is no hope of winning although a manual would have been nice :O)
People who should eat their own poo.
Yes, that is absolutely right! We have found a new justice!
Lessons learned from monkey business and zoo visits. Inspiration is a strange beast.
It is a strange one indeed, you have to grab it and let it ride you sometimes.
Left a horrible taste in my mouth pardon the pun
There are some things the human brain is not designed to emotionally cope with. That, I think, is one of them. Although there may be some people in certain alternative sectors that disagree with me. But poo poo I say.
Yes, it seemed to cause a bit of my brain to freeze up and even short circuit slightly.
They should consider themselves poo poo'd!
nice post bro...i like it
Thank you awfy much!
Nice and good post I like this post. Please upvote my post because I daily upvote your post. @na722
Hopefully your holiday is fun and happy ...
One can but hope!