We need JESUS!
I barked into the mouth of the electronic communicator thingamajig.
We what?
Replied a tiny metallic squeak as if I were holding a shiny robot mouse and not a sleek communicator interweb device of the future.
It's EASTER dammit! Isn't that when he gets reborn out of an egg?
I paced to and fro in the confines of my working from home cage.
Um, no. I don't think there were any eggs involved in the bible?
Squeaker squeaked again.
But if there were no eggs in the bible what did they have for breakfast? Where were the chickens? And why... WHY DO WE CELEBRATE EASTER WITH CHOCOLATE EGGS?!
Boom! Take that! My logical deductions were second to none and all had best beware they did not cut themselves on the diamond edges of my sharp conclusions.
Um, how the hell should I know? Listen. I was only asking if you wanted a coffee?
Squeaker squeaked once again as if life weren't complicated enough.
So you deny that we need JESUS?
I ranted into the shiny surface of my communicadore.
What would we need Jesus for?
Squeaker blasphemed at me.
To SAVE US! It's EASTER! Shouldn't he be pushing rocks 'n shit to come out and SAVE us?
I paced over to the window and gazed out at the lands beyond.
Isn't he the once and future king? Wasn't his return foretold when our need was great?! We need bloody JESUS!
Outside the window, coronavirus ripped through the lands.
Come Jesus.
I beseeched silently.
Come back to your peoples. Save us.
I promise, we won't say anything about the eggs.
Nothing stirred in the empty streets. Dejected, I turned away.
So are you wanting a coffee or not? I have made you one and it is on the table if you want to come downstairs for it.
Squeaker squawked as if coffee was all that mattered in a world tearing itself apart.
Aye, alright then.
I said heavily, dragging myself over to the stairs.
It looked like Jesus wasn't coming. I started descending the narrow steps from the Attic.
As I did so, I couldn't help but notice my firm and muscular arm reaching out from my chiselled frame.
Wait.
If Jesus wasn't coming perhaps we needed a new Jesus?
A Jesus for the modern age? No eggs required?
I smiled and continued on downward, a spring in my step.
Outside the sun broke through the clouds.
We need a Chocolate Jesus.
Lol, Ihad never heard this. It's awesome!
Jesus without eggs is like pancakes without syrup you demon!
I know, I'm a crazy man!!!
Oops. That was a typo. I meant to say bacon.
Ha that's ok. You are right, I'm a crazy bacon!!
Eggs are a false flag as is easter , misinformation it is , as Jesus said clearly , you all are gods and must become your own Jesus ... wel fuck , i am of , buying a dress and growing a beard ;-)
You gotta have the beard and dress for that light to shine through you!! ;0D
meesterboom , do i translate that to . mastertree or master leveridge .. ( did i spell that right ? ) .. i guess it's the second do ;-) .
Master Tree!!!
Although, being Scottish, I would never have dreamt it had a real meaning when I chose it :0D
It's perfect dutch , can be used for pointing out the main rudder on a old sailing ship to .
Kind of viking ship that is , witch then makes sence as Scottish kind of desent from Vikings ;-)
Grow that tree , stay in paece .
Hehe, always in peace! I presume you are Dutch?
Native Dutch , fled the herd 3 weeks ago , living of nature in Greece now , they say your the lucky one , but realy want to be back in the herd now , to shake em up and do some protest against ongoing restrictions of our freedom .
A angryman ;-) , on here told me , no you are where you are now for a good reason .. This must be aranged by higher forces , stay put .
So i do .. cant argue whit a angryman , i follow his wisdom for now.
More flase flags there Brother the Name is Yeshua not Jesus. The Christ is Jewish not Greek!
Indeed he was not Greek , he was a Rastafarai .
And there i stop , as i don,t wanna hang from a cross ;-)
Coffee is the only thing that matters :D
I do agree!!
Ohh, Jesus! A cup of coffee isn't worth my eggs!
Wait. Maybe. You surely delight me on my day off. Why do I have to go to work and the rest of you chaps can sit and tap tap tap all day long.
I raise the BS flag.
Is it wine o'clock yet? I will skip the coffee.
Upped and Reposted
!tip .20
I wish it was wine o'clock!! I am tapped in an attic working from home when everyone else seems to be holidaying!!
Get to work!! :0p
Hehe
We know how to work a pandemic. ;)
Oh yes, with a bit of flounce! :O)
Let me know if you're currently accepting Disciple applications. I have a doctorate in Applied Bigotry and I speak fluent Christianese.
This sounds like the very kind of clay I can mold into my very own golem!!
Yes. I adapt quickly to new cults. Just give me good leadership and direction and before you know it I'll be abusing women and setting gay people on fire. I assume this discipleship includes full benefits and the right to author my own holy book?
You may indeed receive full benefits and author your own book. In fact the book thing is the expected graduation!
Damn those pesky others. We will be free of them!!
I eagerly await the eternal suffering of the damned. Peace be with you.
Do the angels drink beer?
Looks like they might now! ;0)
Now this is a Palm Sunday post for sure (though I know it's not Sunday) ;) Always amusing @meesterboom
I thought I would walk the fine line between sheer offense and gentle humour :0)
You did great mate.
Well thank you very much!
It's always a good place to be. I consider myself a 'cultural Christian' in that well my ancestry was christians all the way back and before that probably heathenish cultists in woods with blood on their foreheads, so no offense here :) Humour is always the best solution for all things, I think.
If humour can't fix it then nothing can has always been my motto. I think we had similar ancestry. It makes my non belief all the more hilarious for me! :0)
[gasp] it's worse than initially thought. He's got...CABIN FEVER D:
I have!!! I've got it bad!! And a case of the Jesuses!
Jesus Coronist slaves all.
OMGZLE! Thats it!! The sign!
May I come again?
I'm hoping for a third!
And not in a musical theory kind of way!
Bring in the skin flutes and tap that bass
Well, it seems like you aint no stranger to a treble clef!
so, a new age has really dawned, and it started with coffee
Everything good starts with coffee!!
The new age begins!!
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