Hoooold uuuuup!!
The elevator doors juddered to a stop as a hand jammed itself between them before they closed.
Reluctantly, like the pallid buttocks on a fasting monk's arse they parted open.
Thought I was a goner there!
Yelped the man in the suit who had so rudely interrupted my ascent to greatness.
I stared at him as he entered the lift with me and mashed the button for his floor.
It might have been the fact that I had had only one coffee so far this morning but something felt decidedly odd. This guy... I couldn't put my finger on it but something was definitely off with him.
I spread my feet wide in a ready stance just in case the dude turned feral and I had to kill him and wear his skin to pass as one of his people when making my escape.
The guy turned to me and grinned.
It's fucking cold outside, isn't it?
He slapped his hands together and stamped his feet as if we were shit actors in an even shitter theatre production.
I opened my mouth to reply and then I noticed it.
There was something terribly wrong with this man's face. Just below the nose there was an awful black smear about an inch thick.
I shuddered as if the Good Lady had offered to make Paneer again.
Eh, there's... Erm, you know?
I said as politely as I could gesticulating at his upper lip.
What? What is it?
Smeardo felt at his face in puzzlement.
I pointed a little more precisely to the thing inhabiting his top lip.
Something on your lip. Looks like you have been drinking shit?
I said, my face curling up in disapproval at the idea of Smeardo and all his friends having a 6 guys 1 cup party.
Ha! My moustache!! Is that what you mean!! My moustache, awesome isn't it? Movember, don't you know?
He gushed excitedly at me whilst stroking the aberration on his top lip.
Movember.
I said flatly.
Yeah, man. You know!? Movember, growing a moustache for...
I cut off his whiny rambling with a decisive chop off my hand.
I know what fucking Movember is but it's 2019, why are you still fucking doing it?
I demanded.
The lift doors opened and we both got out. Smeardo turned and faced me disbelievingly as if I had tried to sell him a jar of home-made jam.
It's for charity, it's really cool. Over the month of November, you...
He began.
Pfft. As I said, it's 2019. Behave yourself.
I stomped off to find myself another coffee.
Just cos you can't grow one!
Smeardo yelled at my retreating back.
Hmmph. Don't see what that's got to do with it...
My wife said she did not like my mustache, so I had to shave it off!! 😢
She is a good woman, keeping you on the straight and narrow!! :0D
!BEER
for @meesterboom
Why, thankee!
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BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @eii for you. Enjoy it!你好鸭，meesterboom!
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It’s a tie! 平局！再来！下回我再出拳头！
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It’s a tie! 平局！再来！下回我再出拳头！
For the good work.
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Hehe 'Smeardo', your names are as mad as mine...
I had forgotten all about Movember.. and that year that beards were suddenly great to have again...
Was it 2016 or thereabouts... they just dont look right on caucasians.
They don't, they really don't!! Says me who it times wishes I could grow one just once!!!
Smeardo :D
I have tried in the past but my mustache growing skills are also very weak. Stupid idea!
My general hair growing skills are utter shite, lol!
Money saved on Razors, win!
I have to shave more I think so I don't end up looking like a wispy Rasputin!!
O the wonderful lip lapa as we call it ..... only a few men can pull it off . Rather just give the money to charity
Yeah, cut out the middle fandangling and just give it straight to them. Now that I've seen one I keep seeing them everywhere!
Luckily November is almost done.... it is mostly the ones that take about a month to grow one that does it hahaaha
I think that was this guy. It was a patchy seventies looking thing!!
So...I have a beard year-round and this guy, *obviously of the 1 cup, 6 guys shit-drinking ilk, comes up to me and says...
So, bro, you growing a mo for Movember?
Throat punch administered, he hit the ground and hasn't moved since. That was on the 3rd. We now use him for a foot-stool in the lunch room.
He deserved no less! It should be an honour for his corpse to be used as such!! :0D
Haha, yeah I know right? We're going to keep him until December, which we are going to officially call Deadcember in his honour, maybe not as cool as Movember but more relevant.
I think there is a month that I could get behind. I might try similar with this guy! He could be my footstool!
We all need a dead-guy footstool. It's not macarbe at all. Lol.
Not in the slightest! Smelly... perhaps!
Nothing a bit of Glen-20 can't handle.
I've always wanted to grow a beard, but sadly the Universe did not see fit to provide me the means to do so. I've tried to grow a goatee a few times, like one of those 30-year-old high school English teacher, goatees, and it comes in alright. Which reminds me, I haven't grown one out in awhile. Maybe it's time to give it another go...
Thats what I do every now and then to see if things have improved any. They have over the years but I am far from being a rugged beard monster!
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @eii for you. Enjoy it!Kinda talented broh... Uhm I say keep this up buddy.. Real welldone
I can live with that!
very good posting and i want to tell you this subject to made me realize a lot of things about the women how they see women beard in men's
Jealousy won't grow beards, my friend. HAHA, I have a mo' year round, and I'm not even a man.
Love your imagery - endlessly amusing.
Lol, a year round mo! If jealousy could grow them what a thatch I would have!!
I heard that movember thing few years back but more than half the month has gone and i have not heard it. Then again most ppl i talk to didn't know 19th November is world toilet day.😎
Haha, I didn't know that!!!
See? Heheh
Still wondering how growing a moustache but not actually giving anything to charity help them??
I believe that they collect for it when all is said and done but I haven't seen anything formal that looks like it!
6 guys 1 cup....oh the horror of disturbing images! 😆
My cousin did movember for a couple years- got the nickname pornstache and decided charity be damned- you're not missing out I tell you!
Yeah, I remember when it was a big thing but I thought it had died a death but no, I was wrong!!!
Why would you down vote my post.. But you also use bud upvotes... How is that fair broh @meesterboom
I don't, check my wallet
I see why you down voted my posts because I played around last night with all the upvote bots and got a fuckton of upvote from them... But hey broh it's cool not everyone has the amount of money invested as you guys.. But atleast I ain't no fagget child💯🤣🤣
Lol
Ha! love the Einstein look! Never heard of that, it was a thing years ago over there?
Yeah, it was a big thing but it sorry if faded away. It at least, I thought it had!!
What was it for, anything? Or just a passing fad? It sounds a little retarded. lol.
It was meant to be for charity but no-one collected and just did it for the sake of growing a moustache. Madness!
lol! sounds like something the flakes in California would come up with!