Aye, you know. Like us old Dads. I don't mind that.
I snapped out of my daydream and looked at my mate, Daz as if his coat had run off to chase a squirrel.
Old Dad's? What the fuck? How very dare he? I was a prime piece of real estate. Prime beef wrapped up in a deliciously handsome skin.
I tried rewinding the conversation to see what the hell he was talking about.
We had met up as usual in the nearby park for our Monday playdate with the Babies. We had stopped by the cafe at the duck pond and were sitting outside, ruminating on life. Or at least he was, I was attempting not to fall asleep.
I vaguely remembered him waffling about having enjoyed living his life before having kids.
Old Dad's?
I asked tentatively, in case I had gotten the wrong end of the stick. The very same stick he would probably find rammed halfway up his arse if he kept on with this old Dad's nonsense.
He took a sip of his hot chocolate, a drink that when ordered made my sphincter pucker up in disapproval.
Yeah, you know. Like me and you. Old Dad's.
I smiled like a scratchy cat that hides under your bed does when it sees a foot hang down.
Steady on mate, I wouldn't say old. More like... Experienced?
Daz shook his head at my folly and chuckled.
There is nothing wrong with it mate!
He leaned forward conspiratorially.
In fact, there is plenty right with it...
He winked and motioned over to his left.
Subtle as a snake in a pie, I stared directly where he was winking at. There were two attractive girls in their early thirties at a table. They were looking over and smiling at our children, who amazingly were both strapped to our respective chests and asleep.
I focused back on Daz.
He was practically making porridge in his pants as he bobbed from side to side in his chair. He twitched his head to the side and clucked his cheek in that universal sleazy-man way.
The chicks love it.
Love what?
They love seeing us older Dad's, do you not see those two over there? They are totally into us.
I sighed.
Oh Daz, mate. It's quite obvious they think we are a gay couple and that it's cute we have kids.
His face fell as he looked over.
What?! No?
He looked at us both with our trendy baby slings and sleeping babies and then back at the girls who were now taking selfies of themselves whilst surreptitiously trying to get us in the background.
Bollocks, I think you're right. That's shit.
He looked downcast.
I chortled and raised my coffee.
Never mind mate. Here's to old Dad's then, eh!
When you think you have it all planned to stay with the girls but actually they think you're a gay father doing their job! lol
Yeah, that wouldn't work at all!!
RoFL! Ahh that's hilarious XD At least you're friends. When my older two were baby and toddler I was pushing them around in a twin pram, and my sister was walking alongside with one hand on the handle and we were joking about how we should totally make a WIDE LOAD sign for the pram. Then she glanced over her shoulder and affected a look of confusion. Asked her what was wrong, and she said that a couple of people had been looking oddly at us. I could detect nothing amiss when I casually cast about to see if anyone was actually stupid enough to think about pickpocketing us, and failing to encounter trouble or see what she'd been looking at, I asked her to be a bit more descriptive.
We got to a point where I eventually thought I had it worked out and said "Ahh they probably think we're a couple." I then had to explain it further "Well you're also holding the pram" at which point she twigged, exclaimed "EW!" and leaped away.
It didn't stop her from holding the pram in the future though, that's just how we roll.
That's how it has to be rolled!
It's funny that people get all these perceptions from such innocuous things!
Well, I've felt like an old gran since I was 6 so 'old gramma' would never be an insult to me :) Even though I have no kids and thus can't 'technically' be a grannie, I like garden puttering, cracked tea pots, sleeping cats and watching the day slide by.
That's Gramma enough, who needs the kids for the full picture!! :0D
@winstonalden and I always joked if we could just go straight to grandchildren, we'd have done it. They get to spoil them and then hand them off, we just didn't want the parent part with nappies and crying. ;)
Yea man. It sucks to be an Old Dad but what can we do? Time is moving so fast nowadays that it is impossible to catch up. Better enjoy it while it lasts! Upvoted!
Gotta catch that time!!! Never stop trying!
I was clueless about it all when young, and now a bit older, know a 1/4 thing or two, but anyway, it's too late now. Though I love when you're sitting somewhere, the young lasses are looking your way, and you think, "yeah...I still got it." Then you get home, and realize you forgot to comb down your morning hair, or your shorts are stuck in your zipper. Ah, the joys of the game after half time. Life sure has a way with all this stuff. The two dads with babies is a new one on me. Then again, you might be onto something here...
Your little drawings really got a chuckle out of this end. The beef cuts and peeps magnet were spot on. Cheers, and here's to oldER dads. (You really wouldn't want to be young again...)
Hehe, I am quite happy with my lot. That made me giggle because it's so true. You think hey hey, she like what she see and it's all because you have egg down your front. Lol!!
Bahahahahaha, It is best to just let him set the story in his own head and leave it there. How he creates his happy moments is his deal. Let him enjoy the feeling.
Hehe, that's very true. I shall spare him the next time!
O my word this made me laugh - his expectation and then WHAM the wake up call... love the chic magnet pic and I am wondering now, this outing to the park, is it more for you guys or for the sleeping babies :)
It's meant to be for the babies... Might be for the dad's! Hahaha!!!
Old Dads indeed, you're not an old dad until you have grandkids... and always remember, if you're not a young dude, young chicks are a trifle empty headed. They always remind me of one of my favorite sayings...
Haha, I like to whisper that too. Lol
That's a good point that makes me feel well young! I ain't a grandparent and won't be for many years, hurrah!!!
Being a grandparent is the best!!! You can get revenge on your kids for all the crap they put you through!!
I am planning a whole lot of revenge!
Old dads are the best of men! Cheers old dad!
They are, I don't qualify yet! ;0)
Now this is tricky, if I say Of course you don't, then I'm saying you're not the best of men, otherwise I'm calling you old ha! Well I think you are a sexy beast, old or no ;)
Haha!! I'll take it! I'll take it and cover it in gravy and give it a squeeze with my debonair hands!! :0D
@meesterboom, this has cracked me up, i have had a right tough weekend and it got worse today, and I read this and I have a smile on my face.
I think your mate might be a little kemp with his coat that looked like it had chased of a squirrel. haha.
Women do love a dad with a kid, but not two dads. it just the facts of life haha
Haha, yeah, the two dad's things
Just didn't work as much. Lol. Glad to hear you had a smile on your face today!
hehehehehe you were complaining that he was calling you "old" dads, but you were struggling to stay awake....hehe classic. :) seriously though, I will be an old dad for sure. I know I told you this already, I am 40, with still no kids or a wife. haha I better marry someone young with energy lol. I will be the dad holding the toddler on his lap, and I will be asleep while the toddler is playing. hahaha. oh by the way...hot chocolate is awesome. :)
It's only the lack of sleep! I have always been a sleeper. When I was younger I used to take the odd day of work just to sleep all day and night of it was fantastic!
hahahaha okay okay....I believe you. :) haha I will say a nice afternoon nap, is pretty awesome. haha
It is, I dream of the day it will happen again!!
hehehehe
Who cares younger girls are just more trouble and mean more babies. A dad's day out is fine and don't need chicks.
I was thinking the same. I am happy with the coffee and the ducks.
Fuck, I'm getting old! Lol
Not old but smart. Smart rhymes with fart but in this case it is smart to have coffee and enjoy the ducks.
I agree. Long live the ducks!!
Ducks before chicks then? Just checking.
You know where you are with ducks!
Nah I’d be the same as Daz. Thinking I had a chance. A chance is all! Not a hope
Hehe, a change of being in the background of a young uns Snapchat selfie! ;0)
There’s a starting point for all good love story’s ! It’s the modern day “titanic ,paint me naked in a portrait “
Lol, times they are a changing!
Better a nice coffee than a mug of warm milk...y'ain't that old yet lol
Aye, I still have it in me, haha!
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It's not old dad's, any more than it is Thursday's. It's jut old dads. the apostrophe is extra.
Sorry boomdawg.
And I see you're enjoying this whole evil cats thing.
And hot chocolate is excellent! Just not as good as coffee, especially when you're tired.
Also: When, exactly, have you gone jousting? And why didn't you tell us about it before now?
And you're not London Sausage? You know, named after the Cockneys?
Your rite! An erant apostrofe!
Hawt dam!
As for jousting, all tails will be reveeled thruogh thyme!!
:0D
OMGosh! This had me rolling!
My sister and I went on a cruise together and had a girls week not too long ago when I noticed some finger pointing and snickering passing my way... I think they thought we were a couple because we had arms linked and faces close as we talked to one of our other siblings on the phone.
OMG. I might as well have had my slip tucked into my undies.
Oh the slip tucked in, that does raise a snorfling or two!!
Yeah, people are weird!!
Apart from the obvious endurance drawbacks, I think being an old dad is swell! I'm not sure if I would be allowed by the ol' ball and chain to be one, but I would in a heartbeat if given a choice. Dazn't Daz have a baby on the way or at least his wife wants one? I'm not sure if I remember that right.
I think it's great to pretend you're swinging for the other team once in awhile. For the life of me, I couldn't get away with it, but the ploy removes that awkwardness of any suspicious intentions out of the way and allows a normal human conversation for a change!
He's on a third! Madness, no-one can live at that speed!!
It is swell!! Maybe not for daz's reasoning right enough!
sir meesterboom! haha! old dads my ass, you ain't old..if this is talking about you. Hey the artwork is hilarious this time. I mean it is always funny but this time particularly so! lol. great story!
I was quite proud of my double appearance in the artwork, me in old stereo!!!
haha! yes sir meesterboom it was comical and frightening at the same time! lol.
The story in good writing
Then use your vote you crusty hankerchief