The good lady hefted the little boom into the mad hippy sling thing we have and waved over her shoulder.
See you in an hour, Daddy, Enjoy your me time!
I watched them go with a smile and waved from the door till they were out of sight. Once they were, I slammed the door shut and locked it.
Woot woot!
I shouted, clapping my hands together.
I was a little hungover and to have been given an unexpected hour of child and good lady freedom during the day was a huge bonus. What was I to do with myself? I wandered into the living room. Perhaps I should catch up on some episodes of Preacher? Maybe boot up the Xbox and get some Fallout on the go?
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gave my reflection a flirty wink.
Handsome bastard.
I whispered.
I walloped some coffee on and pulled my Chromebook out. A little Steeming perhaps before deciding to do anything. As I opened the Chromebook it's battery indicator flashed red at me.
Bollocks. Where was the charger? Damn, I remembered, the good lady had taken it up to the attic which she had been using as a study lately. She had started her Doula training and had been spending some time up there doing research. I headed up the stairs.
Our attic has been split into two little rooms, one a study and one a little bedroom for guests. The study door was closed.
That struck me as a little odd. We never close the study because of the cats. I like to give them free reign everywhere. I rested my hand on the handle and pushed the door open.
The door creaked and opened up onto the dim interior of the attic. The good lady has been moving stuff about and the desk sat in the middle of the room illuminated by a shaft of weak light from the small window.
On the desk lay a thick A4 sized notebook. I had never seen it before, From where I stood I could see swirls and patterns and some big red writing on the cover. I was intrigued. I moved closer.
The house was eerily quiet, the attic room even more so. I shivered slightly. Was it cold up here?
Get a hold of yourself man.
I admonished myself loudly as I stepped up to the desk.
I gazed at the notepad before me. It was a journal by the looks of it. Of course, the good lady had told me she was starting a journal of her Doula nonsense. It was a part of the training. I read the cover.
Was emblazoned in red wax among strange whorls and ridged daubs of something that was hopefully paint.
What the fuck was this? I shivered again, damn, those words gave me the chills. I wondered, should I open it and have a peek at what she had been writing? I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't resist. I reached out a hand and touched the cover.
I'm sorry. I could not find the information you were looking for.
Boomed a loud female voice from the corner of the room.
YAAAIIEEEEK!
I screeched and jumped back a couple of paces. My heart thundered in my chest and my ears, BOOM BOOM, BOOM BOOM. I looked over in the corner in time to see the Amazon Echo's lights wink out.
It was only Alexa. Fuckity baws, I had near shat myself with fright. Bloody Alexa, always going off on one when her name was not even spoken. The good lady was talking about getting smart lights. Well, fuck that. That's two-thirds of the way to SkyNet and I am not having it.
Calming myself I stepped forward and again reached for her Doula journal, the brown and ochre swirls on the cover drawing my eyes in a strangely hypnotic way.
There was a creak on the stairs below.
I froze. I knew that creak. Something was coming up the stairs. I turned round in slow motion, my heart once again pounding at a rate of knots. A voice in my head was gibbering Please don't be a witch or a monster or a monstery witch.
Something moved in the shadows near the door. I took a deep intake of breath.
My cat, Shady, padded into view. She sat and looked at me, her amber eyes stark against her inky black fur.
Oh Jeebus Shady. You gave me a fright!!
I gave a nervous laugh which echoed in the small space. Bloody hell, talk about spooking yourself. I had goosebumps on my arms and everything. I turned back to the Journal.
Right you, you are getting read.
I picked it up. The cover oddly warm in my hand. I opened it at the first page. There was something glued to the first page. It looked like tree bark?
Downstairs I heard the door unlock and the noise of the good lady returning.
Oh, shitty baws!!!
I slammed the book down and ran downstairs. As I neared the bottom I saw the good lady come in and look up at me.
Had to come home, Little boom puked all over everything. We are soaked in it... Daddy? Are you ok? You look really pale?
I'm ok lass, just got a fright hearing the door. But it's you!
I gave my best everything is ok, I wasn't masturbating grin.
She stared at me quizzically and tilted her head to one side.
Where were you upstairs? Were you in the attic?
I gulped.
No lass?
She looked at me for slightly longer than a real human should and moved off into the living room. I heaved a big sigh of relief. My legs felt wobbly.
Oh my flippety jings.
I thought, as my testicles made an involuntary skooking noise like cotton wool rubbed between fingers.
Witchery!
lol!
you got a cat and she's a Steemian? kidding..
hmmm... had too much beer chico?
Heheeh, no beer tonight!! Or today! Thats right there is a steemian called shady!
We named her after eminem many years ago!
ahahahha .. slim shady :D
that explains the stuffed cats of the lil doll
still awake you chico?
aren't we owls? :D
We are owls indeed although this owl is finally fit for sleep!!
Yas, she loves her toy cats as she can actually cuddle those ones hehe
I don't even know where to start with this, hahahahaaa, oh God! Skynet, I'll start with skynet...actually this might have nothing to do with anything, but my hubby just bought an Oculus Rift, yep, we've got it, and I've become a gamer! Er, well, a "My turn to ride the Epic Rollercoaster-er!" Or have a dinosaur roar in my face....makes me think of skynet for some reason though....and witchery, a whole new kind! (Maybe I should lay off the episodes of Mr. Robot?)
skooking would absolutely be my new favorite word, just have to separate your testicles from it first.
My testicles aint easily separated from the skooking...
hehe!!
An oculus rift! AWw man they are awesome. Some games are so detailed its like creepy and so immersive! I am slightly jealous as I want one and my mates have them but being a new Dad I dont have time to use it if I got it! sob!!
I would call the Preacher if I was you :D
I think he might be the only one with the wherewithal to save me!!
Or he could make it worse. Genesis is rather unpredictable.
Right enough. Could raze the whole house. or even the neighborhood!!
That was a close one! Next time you should be holding a feather duster or a broom when you enter female territory, just in case. "I was only tidying up a bit, lass."
OH man, that is an utterly amazing idea!! Of course. the perfect cover. Thank you! :OD
So glad I could help! Watch out for that witchery. :D
arrrgghhh! Alexa! I hate her! My husband talks to her all in a nice sweet voice like if he doesn't, she won't give him the right answer. SOmetimes I use Alexa to keep my grocery list and then I use the app in the grocery store, the list is all there. Well, hubby sometimes sneakily walks by Alexa and says stuff like "Alexa, put sweaty balls on the shopping list" And then I get to the store, and well, okay it's a good laugh.
But back to your jittery self...don't you share the attic office area? She's gonna have to fess up about the witches!!
Sweaty balls on the shopping list. Thats magic!
Well technically we do but I havent been up there in a while. I do all my stuff in the living room cos its got a big table! You are right though, she is gonna fess up!
oh no, Mr. Boom! Looks like she's got your testicles under her spell
She couldnt wither them any more! lol!
LOL
The fathers :)
Haha, good one!
Jesus Bananas, adventures in the attic never end well! :D
I should steer clear of the attic. Except I am scared to go in the basement ;O)
Jeebus that one gave me the creeps! Is it a full moon or something? I don't envy the next guest of yours who gets put up in the other side of that attic, to say the least.
HEhehe, its only family that usually stays. Her family, so I don't mind letting them up there lol!
Just be careful, they'll end up working on their sorcery up there and could conjure up some pretty nasty spells to use on you. In fact, I think one may have recently been used to make you think trying raspberry fruit beer was a good idea...
Hahahah my Dear Gentleman doing what he does best!!!! Next time, you are free...then Gentleman club? waiting for you there with some good things!!!! increase and multiply due to steem success isnt it?
There are always good things in the club! I will see you in there! :O)
hahaha The best part was when That cat got you scared :p
It totally got me!
hahaha i wasn't there to see it,but the way you wrote it, i can feel it here sitting at my home miles away.
Completely understandable.
A cat's specifications call for scary.
I have thought of getting one of these listening skynet thing but I'll probably go for the google one if ever.
The amazon one is really good. I like it a lot, Its very polished. I am a huge google fan and would have got theres but amazon beat them to it
Competition is good for consumers
It is, if you get the google one you will have to let me know how it is!
not in the near future. perhaps to consider Christmas deals. :-)
Hehe:) monstery witch . She's unto you. . .
She might be. I might wake up dead!
Serious SkyNet situation! Hahah
I aint havin it! hehe!
That is a great title, it could even replace the adventures of Uncle Boom,
Next time she goes upstairs and sees the door open, she will remember closing it [they never forget things like that, forget to check the oil and water in the car, but not things like that] you will be caught out lying again,
The start of the slippery slope to the dungeons.
Blummin heck. Thats an idea and a half. I dont think I could get enough material for a weekly but its still a fine idea!
I am so used to the dungeons I wouldnt mind so much. As long as there is no black magic lol
Collaboration, get the good Lady to help, if she can come up with a name like that, and put up with you, she must have lots of thoughts, and a second Steem income would be handy,
As for the dungeons, it is the black magic that makes them so dark and spooooky, also stops mere males from ever climbing out.
For the Little Lady, ask her what stories that you make up for her that she really, really likes, post them under her name, there's Uni paid for.
It's a very good idea. I will definitely try at done point. I don't have a or if time at the minute and the good lady doesn't give a hoot for steemit!
It isn't for Steemit, it is for the love of a story.:-)
Well that is true! You are spot on with the ideas!
I miss little dear friend @meesterboom !!! that was close!!!! the ladies have a sixth sense dear friend, when we paroxys to their secrets.
Now the intrigue kills me What would the great lady have been doing?
Maybe in the next exit we can find out.
engaging real dear friend! What a suspense !!
thank you very much for another wonderful reading
I wish you a wonderful week
I am hoping that I find out what is going on!! :O)
The skooking sound was the boys dropping back down from inside your stomach, where they had retreated.
Aha!! Thats what it was!! :O)
You must be careful now of your daughter because I'm afraid she had some black magic that can be cast on you. I hope you are okay after that incident. Upvoted!
The greatest care will be taken!
That is a relief!
Uy meesterboom, I lived me a few moments of terror; do not review the things of those women; even if they are your daughters you can get caught in the witchcraft. That was a trap that they tended to show you what they are capable of. Do not go up to the attic anymore, they are always mysterious, and only send the cats. Greetings.
I shall remain on the ground floor!!
I think it's the best
Hahahahaha! You were looking for the charger, remember? LOL!
Lol, that's right and no good will come of such things!!
Hahahahaha I could just imagine this whole scenario, but I would now REALLY start listening to my wife and do what she asks, if I were you..... A toad cannot type on Steemit ☺☺☺
Yes, my posts might look a bit different if I was typing with toad feet!
This is excellent - I was there in that room with you. Ooooooooh spooky days to come - If the cats start turning on you then you know your wife is getting the hang of the 'witchery' hahaha
Lol, I think the cats turned on me long ago!
I'm never ever going to the basement. Nonono you won't make me do it!!
It'sa bad place
Should have stuck with Preacher!
It would have been much more relaxing! :O)
From the start to near the end, it had the makings of a frightening horror story. The Red Tent is a ruse, and you are slowly losing your lady love to powers unexplained! Could it be that The Mountain had spewed in order to prevent you from delving further? What if your good lady, Alexa and your cats are in on this whole conspiracy?? I guess our suspicion of The Doula was warranted. Even now she still has her claws wrapped tightly on your household. Seems like a job for Herr Starr!
Also, I always envisioned you sounding like Cassidy. Is that close? Haha!
Haha, close indeed!!
What if everything is a trust and my whole life had been one shadow gambit!! All leading to this moment where everything I hold dear is taken from me!!
I must think on this!!
Hahaha! Then I was right all along! I have been waiting for him to shout "cor blimey" for quite some time now.
As much as I would like to elaborate further, I feel like this comic effectively conveys what I'm trying to divulge to you http://existentialcomics.com/comic/222
I love your story!! Keep it up 😊
@clyden... did you just comment on my post and vote your own comment and not vote for the story that you loved?
I flag those kind of people you know, cos its spammy and horrible to do that
Nope i gave u upvote and liked your story and followed you. Check for yourself 😊
Ah you did, after I said :O) Thank you!
Love your all posts bro @meesterboom much Respect for you @meesterboom
Cheers @man! Appreciate it @man!
Great story! never thought a story about witches and Amazon echo would make me laugh! as a fellow cat owner I feel for you, sometimes the little bastards peak out their faces at the wrong moment giving you a terrible scare at night, but I love them anyways!
They really do spook you at times! Expecially when you hear them but cant see them :O)
Your writing skill is second to none. Started following you today when I read your story about network failure on adsactly....laughed my ass out.
Keep it up sir...your doing a great job
Excellent! Thank you very much :O)
I like the flow of your writing.. I wish I'm able to produce something like this.. Keep it up sir
Just stick a pen to paper and give it a bash :O) You get better with practice
The story is intriguing. I would say you are good in writing stories. I love writing stories too but I don't think my stories are good as yours ( i would love you to check some of these stories on my blog page) . I am really impressed with that. I hope some day I will be able to write stories that would capture ones attention like this. Thanks for sharing this post.
Thank you, your comment was really kind and well written and I would normally always check out the blog of someone who left a comment like this. Then, like I always do, I checked your sincerity by looking to see if you had voted for the post.
You hadnt
So fuck off
Lol, now that was extremely funny. Just as funny as your story. Nice quick response ya threw out when asked if you'd been in the attic. Ya got lucky, lol. Hopefully Alexa doesn't tattle on you.
Hehe, cheers! That Alexa probably will. They are all in it together! :O)
Lol, would not be surprised. I got one as a gift and have yet to set it up.
I actually love it. Apart from randomly interupting its really cool!
Maybe I will hook mine up in a day or two. Might come in handy. My son thinks I'm weird when I talk to myself, so Alexa will give me "someone" to talk to, assuming I say her name first, lol. I remind him that when he gets older, he will do the same. He already does and swears he isn't, lol.
Does it have a proximity alarm yet?
What a great story. This kept me on edge. Wow, all I can say.
@tincanjunction
Cheers mate!
Oh, my muddy words.
from the way the story ended, you weren't able to see what was written in the journal. I hope the story continues because i am anticipating what the lady wrote in that journal.
I am sure I will find out!
Why the puke had to interfear we as men dont understand, and I know the I wasnt mast. grin😬