It's your turn!
Yelled the good lady with a gleeful smile on her face.
I cast her a look that managed to combine annoyance, vinegar and eye rolling into one.
When I am not working, the good lady and I take turns changing at changing the little boom's nappy and he had just let out a long and loud fart.
No big deal... Normally. However today, his singular explosive poo that usually comes in the morning had not arrived. It was now afternoon. This did not bode well for me, who's turn it was to change him.
Added to the mix of stagnant horror that changing his nappy had now become was the fact we had just started weaning him. So his poos which were never the most pleasant things to deal with in the first place, were now fetid, sticky, greeny-brown things. They clung in ropes to his skin and the wipes and to everything you tried to clean him with.
It was horrifying and now it looked like Muggins McGinty, had drawn the short straw and caught the exploder today. Dammit!
I ventured over to the little boom like a timid mountain gorilla and gave his vicinity a sniff.
It smelled fine but that didn't mean anything.
I got all the changing jazz out and wheeked his sleepy-suit open and grabbed his feet in a firm grip before removing the nappy.
HA! No poo!
I crowed over my shoulder to the good lady.
She made a cow chewing mittens face.
Her disappointment that I didn't catch the big poo explosion was mixed in with the inevitable fear that as it was halfway through the afternoon, the next nappy of doom would be hers to change.
I turned round to face the good lady. Victory writ large on my face and blew her a raspberry with the utmost maturity.
As I did so another farty raspberry noise joined in, harmonising almost perfectly with mine.
The something wet flicked onto my face.
It was as if time had slowed to a crawl. The good lady's mouth was open and a strange deep BA HAAA HAAA HAAA! was echoing from her cavernous maw as she pointed behind me.
My head turned toward the little boom as if through treacle. Finally, time caught back up with us.
Aiiiieyyyeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I screamed in a high pitch that made the neighbour's dogs bark.
Someone appeared to have spilt a pot of greeny brown beef casserole over the little booms legs and my hand. And the floor. And there seemed to somehow be a bit on my cheek?
I managed not to faint. As I cleaned him and myself up I contemplated the good old days. You know, the days where I didn't walk about all covered in shit or puke.
The glory days.
Thank you for posting @meesterboom.
That you are able to put this experience into writing is quite a feat....too humourous by far. ^__^
Lovely illustrations.......a cow eating mittens....must not forget that one.
All the best to you and yours.
Cheers.
I quite liked that one too. I think I have childrens books in my head far too much from reading them to my daughter! lol
Life writes novels and people read comics...One won battle doesn't mean the war is won,...so take care of that. I'm sure Good Lady is Excellent, so do you...Let's see which Small Boom's Diplomacy will be better 😎...
She is excellent! I quite like that saying p the novels and comics one. I shall have to remember that :O)
Ooh, it is great when some sentence can be useful...I'm sure that John Cleese and His friends, for that reason did Monthy Payton Series 😉 as Nobody got the message through Seriouuuus novels but only through comics and not that they understand but keep talking about it, for a long time...OOOH, I SEE NOW, EUREKA, THAT'S WHY YOU DO IT IN SUCH A COMIC WAY....VERY SMART MR.BOOM
Hahaha, you have exposed me!! You have exposed my tricks to push my message!! :OD :OD
hahahah great work, love the images that got with it also!
I love a good picture tweak! Cheers!
Damn!!! You lost right at the doorstep to victory. If you had sealed the kid up before blowing the kiss you would have been free and clear. I’ve toatlly been there though. You got the unexpected poop and the boys give the good ole surprise water fountain. Not fun!!! Sometimes it was so bad that I just took the kid straight to the tub. Took off the poopy everything there and sprayed them down like a dog. Lol So gross!
This ended up being a tub'r! Oh it was awful man. I shouldn't have been cocky. I keep thinking that. Next time he is getting sealed up first!!
LOL!
Just so you know, this is just a mild interference in your life and you may even look back fondly to these days once he becomes.....a teenager!!
Hehe, I might do for the moment I am just trying not to get depressed when I smell something nasty and realise its me!
Hee hee hee, ah, good little boomster!
Oh man, that was hilarious. The one at the end was actually sick. What a woos. I practically wear poo and sick like a second skin!
Well, it seems that Little Boom executed an ambush in the style of his beloved Uncle Boom: planned, deceived the enemy and executed the masterful move: cake in the face ... of course he carries the Boom genes in his body ... I'm imagining when Little Boom is at school, uyy, the stories that his father will tell will be many ... Well, in any case Little Boom showed that his engine is well toned and powerful:
I can imagine the stories he will come home with lol!
AHAHAHAH!
You know I have been wanting to have a kid (or 3) since 3 years now, but neither me or my boyfriend are good at adulting yet.
Then I read stories like this one and I think we can never manage it.
It took me years before I thought I was grown up enough to be have one. I still dont think I am!
And yeah, the poo is awful lol
That's what crowing gets you! The appropriate reaction would have been to get a fresh nappy on as quickly as humanly possible, before even pausing to draw breath.
I know, it's what I normally do too!! But yes, crowing got me my just desserts!
Those were the good old days.. Ah I remember those fondly. The feathery skin that exudes the aroma of milk, the coo-inducing smiles.. Changing nappies are the worst tasks that I never had to endure during my tenure as the Baby Whisperer. At least, not on a regular basis. But, I fear that my fate is sealed. In a few years, I shall be enduring what you are currently enduring, while you sit back and take all of the teenage angst. Woe... is us.
Whilst I take that angst I will be smug, smug that the burden had fallen to someone else to be shat on on a regular basis!!!
ah, one of lovely tales of marriage and having your own little poop factories... i'm taking notes and preparing for my turn... not anytime soon
Dont rush it! I certainly didnt and I am glad of it! :OD
Ah, thanks @meesterboom for the words of wisdom... You'll surely know if and when it happens :D
You have the extraordinary ability to make me laught thinking about poo! :D
Hahah, it's one of those topics!
Nah. I am sure even in the good old days you managed to be covered with something unnatural...
Pizazz! Thats what I was covered in! :O)
What amount of patience you have to overcome the smelly, sticky situation you have for the love of your child? I salute you, meesterboom! Upvoted!
Haha, infinite patience... I wish! :O)
Hooo, nooo shift to change diapers, that can not be, although many years ago I do not change diapers, that is never forgotten and especially when there are accidents in between, although it is unpleasant at the moment, over the years are reasons for laughter and happiness.
I wish you a wonderful week Thank you very much dear friend @meesterboom for sharing these life experiences.
You are so lucky that it has been so many years!
I cant wait till its time to look back and not be wearing clothes smeared in nonsense!
Well it's a funny incident 😅😅 how you came to know about these ideas and your images make this post more hilarious to read 😅😜
It was funny looking back now!
For me its all about those images! :O)
The glory days will return when the tyke is potty trained and are no more nappies! I saw this one coming. Little ones seem to have impeccable timing. I seem to remember an outing with one of my wee tykes. All dressed in a cute white tracksuit with red piping going to visit his great aunties for afternoon tea. Halfway there all strapped in cosy to the car seat, I heard the disastrous call of the wild.
I stopped the car and took a quick look. The smell should have warned me. It had oozed out of a now browny-green tinged pair of pants, over the waistband and out the bottom of the legs, on the baby seat, the car seat and down to the floor mat. How can anyone little human possibly produce so much liquid waste?
Oh lordy lord. The car seat ones are the worst! I remember my relief whenthe little lady was finally toilet trained. A good while to go but the day will come thankfully!
Happens to the best of us but clearly your gloating played a part in this little bit of karma. At least you weren’t facing him and got some in your mouth! That would have produced some gagging for sure!!!!! 😂
It was definitely the gloating. If I had done my usual and swiftly walloped another on it would have caught it!
And yeek, the mouth!
Ha, funny stuff. Usually it’s the peeing which isn’t nearly as bad. By the way, since I cracked 100 steem power my votes are 0.02 so I feel good about giving people my 2cents worth!! 😎
Wayhay! It sounds good when you say it as well! Next milestone...
500!!
Well at my current rate that will be in a year! 😳
It will speed up trust me, you are doing the right thing!
Thanks, just won the beersaturday contest, 5 spd is worth a couple weeks posts for me woo hoo!
Just remember: you can hold all this against him when he disagrees with you at a later age.
It will, I am storing it for when he is eighteen :0)
Completely unrelated and off-topic: damn, you're up early.
aha, yes indeed. The weekday work shuffle sob
This is a shit post. It is that green gruel that you keep on feeding him....
It is shit, it must be the green!!!
good post for best friend @meesterboom
Best friends forever my friends friend!
😂
;O)
Thanks for sharing the story, very interesting and funny, I like your story. Thanks again @meesterboom
You are welcome. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Thank you @nurmdurmidirman
Hooo, nooo shift to change diapers, that can not be, although many years ago I do not change diapers, that is never forgotten and especially when there are accidents in between, although it is unpleasant at the moment, over the years are reasons for laughter and happiness.
I wish you a wonderful week Thank you very much dear friend @meesterboom for sharing these life experiences.
This is a great work. I love your use of words and the sense of humor!
Thank you!! I love your rampant commenting and lack of voting!
That would be called karma in my house. Had you not stopped to gloat then indeed you might have had the last laugh, but instead you gave us the last laugh.
In fact, I was just nursing the baby back to sleep while reading this and my husband stopped by, asking if I was ok because I was shaking. I guess he thought I was sobbing instead of laughing
As always, thanks for the chuckle!
Must I always point out the obvious...if the good lord didn't want you to use the garden hose for cleanup, he wouldn't have invented the bathtub, 6 meter hose, warm water and the 4-setting LawnGenie® nozzle.
Though many may wonder, you can tell I have no children, except the ones I can put in the garage, when they have the purported 'accident' on my clean socks and under's and such.
The world is no doubt a fine and better place for it.
Another most funny read for a Wednesday, (that actually came out on a Monday, but who's watching), thanks for the continuous mirth.