Today I had the pleasure of phoning an insurance company to renew my cats' health insurance. The cats are getting on a bit and vets bills can be quite expensive.
The good lady has never quite been a fan of my throw them in the river if they get ill approach to life. My theory being that if they can triumph against their ultimate adversary then they can triumph against anything.
Our current insurance was running out. The company who we had insured them with did not auto-renew their policies and instead made you phone them so that they could try and sell you a million and one other sundry products whilst you dropped by.
As the good lady is heavily pregnant and therefore incapable of initiating a telephone conversation this onerous task fell to me today.
It was a particularly relaxed and cheery chap that answered my call.
Hello, my name is Robert at directrubbish4u, how may I help?
Oh hello, I got a letter to renew my pet insurance.
Ah yes, that is fine. I can do that for you. Can you give me the reference number at the top of your letter.
He seemed very helpful, This might not be so bad I thought.
Ah the letter, sorry. I forgot to bring it with me. Oops.
That's no problem sir. It's the reference at the top left of the letter, it should begin with TPI.
Erm, yes. I get that. I don't have the letter.
Okaaaaay. That is not a problem. Can you get the letter for me?
Hmmm, he said it wasn't a problem exactly like it was a problem. I made a jokey laughing noise.
Afraid not, I am at work. Sorry, I'm a bit of an arse and left it at home.
There was a deathly silence on the other end of the phone. I wondered if we had been disconnected, I mean, that's never happened before...
Anyone there?
Sir? I am afraid that if you continue to use such language I will have to disconnect the call.
He was back. He sounded terse. In fact he sounded like he was dealing with a lunatic, would that be me then?
Oh sorry, you mean when I said I was a bit of an arse?
On the other end of the line, Robert drew a sharp breath.
Sir, I will not warn you again. If you continue to use such language I shall disconnect the call.
Whoah, ok, ok. I was referring to myself incidentally, I wasn't saying you were one.
Sir. Please, can we continue without such language?
I sighed, the fellow was obviously sitting on a dildo or something.
Yes, yes, please do. I shall behave.
Thank you sir, now, please, can you give me the reference number at the top of your letter?
I took a deep breath.
Seriously? How many times do I have to say I don't have the letter. This is becoming a bit arse if you ask me.
Sir, if you continue to use such language I will have to...
Arse.
Click. The line went dead. I couldn't help but smile. It's the little things that make me happy. Maybe I will try again tomorrow? Perhaps with the letter this time.
Job well done if you ask me!!! 😂😂😂
I did feel a glow of happiness after it :0)
I feel your pain Boom. I spent >60mins on the phone to Dell yesterday trying to buy a new charger for my laptop. I got transferred to at least 15 different people and no one would take my $50 and send me a new one.
Seriously, what's with these companies and their crazy new fangled business models that won't sell you what you want?
Oh man, I know!! Like, take the damn cash!!!
There is nothing worse than when they transfer you about and you have to go through the same rigmarole again and again and again!!
So annoying.
Defo. They make you go through each step again and your are like noooooo!
Score another victory for meesterboom. Suggesting you continue without such language....hah! Most laughable suggestion I've heard all day
It was such a harmless aside I thought, lol!
All I can say: LOL. You should have your stand up show, I'm sure it will be great 😀
I've got the face for it :OD
Hahaha Love it! I was on the phone for 2 hour about my mobile this evening and if I had known that such entertainment was available to me while on the call I would have brought out the 'arse' or some escalation.
Now I thought that the term "arse" was strictly a Newfoundland thing. But I guess every country/region has its own arse. "Stunned as me arse," is a clearly defined state of cognition in Newfoundland. Used in doctor's offices and courtrooms across the land. "BuckyDurddle, sure he's as stunned as me arse, b'y." A perfectly acceptable part of the Newfoundland vernacular. I take no offence. Skipper on the cat-line can go "kiss me arse."
No, "arse" is used everywhere. Well, everywhere important like New Zealand, Newfoundland and Scotland anyway. It's only the US who for some odd reason like to use "ass". Personally I think "arse" is a fine sounding, under utilised and descriptive word, and I like to use it as much as possible. Swearing? What pish!
Agreed. Could there be a common thread of under-utilized vernacular in New Zealand, Newfoundland and Scotland? Higher level of cognition is my guess. Don't tell that other crowd or else they'll be stealing our witty quips and putting them in McDonalds commercials. I don't know about you @kiwideb but I'm keeping my arse under wraps.
It's been too cold in NZ to keep my arse anywhere other than under wraps. Though we did have some sun today. Considering we only had two sunny days in the whole of last summer, I'm cautiously optimistic that this year might be better.
Another word that's appreciated more in NZ than other places is "bugger". This ad from Toyota could probably not be played anywhere else.
Excellent, I thought that arse was a primarily Scottish or British thing and qs unrecognisable anywhere else. Thats fab to know it is a far reaching word.
It is the same here though, it is very tame, you can fall on your arse and all manner of nice decriptive things that need that little punch.
YOu will have to remember the arse in future for your next epic call, not that you want one!
Hahahahah yes do try again with the letter and keep me in the loop .....hahahaha
Lol, I did! It went much better this time!
Great ...haha
You should make a poll about this issue.
Let democrazy decide.
Nah , just call without , so much more fun. :-)))
ps: I'm pretty sure that guy worked before at my former internet provider !
I think there might be lots of those guys working all over the show. Everytime I phone somewhere I promise myself it will be different and it never is!
One day you might be lucky , same chance as winning the lotery.
Lol, one day :0)
Okay, now I am curious, how much is cat insurance? And what a weird way that policy works! The whole company sounds like an arse.
Ours is 12 quid a month for two cats. Covers the vets bills. Quite handy!
People should be able to work with you if you dont have the letter. Well said, he was an arse! 😊
I know, I was all set to hand over my name etc but no. Letter or nada!
What?? Why!? That is the only way to help anyone out! By God, even Charles Darwin was quoted as saying such! I'm blaming it on the hormones, dude. Don't take it against your wife.
Robert really needs to learn some context, but yeah I kind of get how colorful language could be used as an excuse. It would've been better if he just presented other alternatives to renew though, instead of sounding like a broken record. Since this was posted yesterday, were you finally able to renew this today?
I renewed it yesterday. It all went swimmingly well. I've even made a couple of jokey dear words to the lady and she laughed. Oh how some people are would up really like dear Robert!
I bet Robert was listening in on the call teary-eyed. Missed your chance, buckeroo!!
He will probably be waiting in a bush outside my house tonight ;0)
I bet he did! With snacks in hand, too.
You should here my husband with these calls, he starts off giving all the info then he says I presume you want my bloodgroup as well and he gives it to them. They never think it is funny, but I love it as I know he is going to do it when he starts.
Hehe, I will remember that. I do like to upset them a tad ;0)
That makes me think of Father Ted. I think you were right about what he might have stuck up his arse lol!
Lol, he certainly went from nought to tetchy in no time at all.
Lawks, I loved FAther Ted, wasnt it hilarious. Have a cup of tea? Go on, go on gon on go on!!
When you call back with the number, be sure to inform them that this is the arse that called yesterday.
Thgat might be the first words that come out of my mouth lol!
bro, you should definitely try again tomorrow, and without the letter, again LOL
Hehe, without the letter it might be worth another shot, Icould just repeat everything the same as today and see if it is the same :O)
Aw man, don't get me started on insurance! LOL
It's a pain in the chuffer eh!
It's definitely difficult dealing with people like that. That's why I still use Obamacare for my cat's Health needs. Sure he doesn't get to go to the best vets but free coverage is important for me.
Haha, nothing but the best for that cat ;O)
I would never tolerate this , you should take action and call
I was in quite the flippant mood. When he got offended by me calling myself an arse good-naturedly I just decided to wind him up :O)
Is this a true story? I love it! I cannot stand stuck-up pricks like that... You give them money and they complain about you?
Yup, I was just being all matey with him as he sounded all matey and said I was an arse for forgetting it and he went stone cold killa on me!
Insanity! Arse is not even so bad...
Totally isn't. In fact there is a part of me that things it's not even swearing!
Whoa Boom, sounds like you got yourself a prissy dandy there LOL
Lol, that is what he was! A prissy Dandy of a man! Superb :O)
It is always the same because every company these days uses a call centre located in some country on the other of the world from you. I recall my son buying a computer from a store in Canada, that was made in China and the technical support was answered in India! And the guy in India read from a script and heaven forbid if you went off topic. My son finally asked to speak to a supervisor and he was put through to some guy in Malaysia! He gave up and bought a different computer...
Oh yes, the dreaded script. They dont like it if you go off that. Way back in my youth I worked in a place and we had a script but if it went off script it was fine. Nowadays though its a drama. Perhaps he was annpoyed because he was flicking through the script and couldnt find arse anywhere! loll
Isn't that on the first page, last paragraph of the manual, under "A"? lol
I do believe it is!
Last horror call I went through was with my bank. They put me on hold forever and then I told went dead on its own -_-
I have had that so many times. Get disconnected, they claim it was nothing to do with them. Yeah, very good!
Big corporate peeps bullying the small peeps ugh.
But we shant take it! :OD
RISE
Wait... Are you knighting me?
I accept!!
SURE!
Or just call them and say : "i want to talk with the arse person from yesterday". :D
Or I could try, straight from the bat. I want to talk to an arse!
ha ha ha oh my God! What an uptight twat. He was definitely an a***. Well done for pushing his buttons at the end. I'd probably have done the same!
I honestly thought he might be missing and that no-one could be that uptight. It looks like I was wrong though!
... Hey... better not have to have to use this kind of services. Maybe there is with an office and much better to go there not by phone.. Finally, has the cat his insurance ? :)
The cat has it!!
I do hate doing stuff on the phone, a necessary evil these days
Sure me neither.. Like everything it became difficult fix problems directly..
Absolutely!!
Well, I will follow the nexts episods, funny way to tell your stories of every days life ;) See you !
Yes indeed, see you next time :O)
I do hate the phone!
Oh so do I, everytime is a bad one
Oh god yes, I feel like you've just scored some kind of victory for all of us poor saps who have to sit through that crap whenever we need to phone someone to get something done!
Round of applause!
Wayhay! I be the champion of the phone oppressed!!! ;0)
FREEEEDOMMMMM!!!
I know this so well when I have to do something that normally my wife would take care of. Often a disaster :D
Its true. I think perhaps my heart wasnt in it because I was thinking man, she should be doing this, she is off today!
Oh yes, I feel often the same way. Sometimes if it's not so urgent I want until she recovered or comes back from her meeting and say to her: You know, you have still to take care of this...:D
Hehe, I do the very same thing
:D
What could have happened if you pet was a ASS? :D
That would have been a world of hurt!