In a story, you tell a reader what has happened and let a reader make up her/his own mind. But I guess this was never meant as a story, but more as a flow of consciousness. It is framed in the way as a person who talks to himself inside his head since he knows what he is talking about while the reader only gets the second derivative of the described events.
So I guess since the central subject of discussion is not a literary character but the author himself, we can congratulate him on finding himself. Well done!
I really liked your comment. Thanks for breaking it down, and you're right! :)