My experience here is literally nothing without the people who help create the experiences.
Spent a lot of my years feeling stepped on and pushed aside. It made me bitter for a time and I'll still keep my distance or create space if those alarm bells start ringing. But this whole experience has been a lifesaver for me. I don't take it for granted. My past dictates one slip is all it takes yet I've been slipping and sliding all over the place and haven't lost everyone. When it's quiet I naturally internalize that like I've done something wrong so when people show up it's a huge relief and I'm happy to see them. People being happy to see me and being kind with compliments and stuff is still something I struggle to process but I'm learning to get used to that as well. Just roll with it. Go with the flow. I see them, acknowledge them internally, accept them, but quickly try to change the subject... LOL!
I have become a master at this :D
Oh! Look at that orange bird flying over there :D See it? LOL
It also sounds like we have both been on a lot of the same journey here. It's good to know I am not alone in how I think.
We're all thinkers in some sort of thoughtful way.