Words to live by. Sometimes we demand too much of ourselves, especially when it is unnecessary. Disappointment only comes when there are deterrents to a goal or target. When we do not get what we expected. At such times, you feel things are not working despite all of the hard work you've put in.
At such instances, It's easy to feel discouraged, especially when we have genuinely given something our best shot and there are very little or no signs of progress. I Have felt that way once. Actually, twice. Back in high school when I was dealing with the science subject of Chemistry (still not a fan), and then most recently, on Steemit a few months after signup.
Back then, it was quite the struggle. Still is, but this place taught me something very important about the dangers of self-entitlement and the benefits of hard work. Even though the rewards were scarce, chances are you'll do fairly well if you're doing something that interests people well.
However, I do not intend to make this post about Steemit. It is about one's commitment to hard work and to consistent growth in spite of the hurdles.
You're Not Good Enough to be Disappointed.
It gives a whole new meaning to the term disappointment. Rather than feel disappointed for being an amateur at what you do, perhaps it's okay to start accepting the fact that there will be mistakes at first, and that those mistakes won't matter much longer as we continue to improve ourselves.
Quoting James Clear's website on this one;
You're not allowed to be disappointed by your amateur performance because you haven't developed the skills of a professional yet. It's only the professionals that are allowed to be disappointed because they have put in the work to be better.
So, rather than feel disappointed that you might have hit a dead end on your development, especially as a new guy in the block, it helps to see this as motivating as it is at face value. Work harder and build competence in your preferred area of expertise. Remember, it's Garbage in, Garbage out. If you have developed yourself to that level and you still make flimsy mistakes at times, then your disappointment at such a point would have been justified.
Just in case you were considering it, you're not good enough to get discouraged. You're just bad enough to start working.
So at what point do we consider ourselves professionals without being delusional?
When the people around you start to notice your work or you get recognition out of nowhere from a stranger. I wrote a book about the future that was published in November 2013. I was not sure what to think because we are our own worse critic and I had never done that before. It led to a speaking tour and I had 24 radio interviews and reached 5,000,000 listeners. I was rated 4.2 stars by readers on Amazon. One of the short stories (titled “Unit 514”) was reprinted in a sci-fi anthology titled "Vision of the Future." I was now in a book with Sir Martin Reece and Ray Kurzweil. Two of the greatest minds of the 21st century. Two movies scripts were penned by a Hollywood screenwriter based on other short stories in my original book and are being pitched to movie studios as we speak. At the end of the day, I am still the guy being told by my wife to take out the trash and my kids still think their dad “doesn’t get it.” This is my long way of saying you will never really know and self doubt is sort of built into us. If you enjoy something then keep doing it and have fun. I have been a drummer in several rock garage bands. We are objectively horrible. Who cares? It’s rock and roll, baby!!! Keep writing everybody. We are on Steemit and we are inventing the future. It is an adventure. Relax and enjoy the ride.
Life is a constant learning. What more can do if we wrong anything. Return to start and imagine that we are children building sand castles, if the waves what brought down, we had fun and that's what matters. Life is too short to be sad because of our mistakes
Wow! Thank you @clayrawlings!
I'll write and work on my own improvement.
I support Clayrawling's reply. Practice till competence and mastery. And one simply cannot achieve mastery if they quit too early, which is what this post addresses. Shrug off the mistakes and disappointments, some of them are necessary to reach competence.
Dear @pangoli and @EVERYONE else READING :)
Excellent choice of topic my friend. Being dissapointed seem to be part of our life difficult to avoid. Especially for those who want to achieve something and are goal orientated.
I wonder how do you guys deal with this awful feeling? How to overcome being discouraged and dissapointed with ourselfs?
I know that some people like to read and watch motivation videos but I found it not working for me. And in general I think this kind of "treatment" doesn't last long.
In post above @pangoli wrote his own wise suggestion:
But I wonder what others have to say.
Yours
Piotr
I think if you focus your energy (time) and frustration on working harder and being consistent and smart about your work then you will be able to add extra fuel to the fire and this will lead to the results you wanted. If you've ever listened to Michael Jordan, he says that one of the biggest disappointments in his life was not being good enough to make his high school basketball team his freshman year. Can you believe that one of the best basketball players of all time did not make his high school basketball team his freshman year? He used all that energy, frustration, and anger and this allowed him to work twice as hard as other people until he became one of the best basketball players in the world. To me Michael Jordan is the best, but some will disagree.
Oh, I like Jordan. I am not a fan of basketball, but back when I was young, my parents got me this nice pair of white canvas shoes with Michael Jordan branded on them. I loved it. I've also read a bit about him back in highschool! He sure is living proof that one's failure in the past doesn't have to define them.
Definitely, Michael Jordan is a great inspiration. He has been called the best player in basketball and his response has been "People talk about all the baskets I made, but what people don't know is that I had to miss 9000 to get that perfect shot." It's a very interesting way of thinking about things.
He absolutely is @hobo.media
Absolutely.. i think the Iceberg illusion is common. We see the success without easily registering the amount of work input to become that successful.
Brilliant comment @the4thmusketeer
We never know what will motivate us, right?
Thank you for sharing your view on this particular issue. Appreciate it a lot.
Cheers, Piotr
I liked this focus because sometimes one can be somewhat weak and let disappointment take over before thinking there is always a way to get better. I believe even experts of all areas have the chance to make everything from scratch. No one is "good enough"
We can even get try to blame others in our disappointment, which shouldn't be te case. It would be like trying to base our self-esteem in someone else.
The key is to take everything in the best way possible, learning from every mistake we make.
Greetings
The growth mindset! Always the best approach.
very true.
best regards
😉
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Brilliant comment @slwzl
You have a good point here.
I hope it would be as easy to do as it sounds :)
Thank you for sharing your view on this particular issue. Appreciate it a lot.
Cheers, Piotr
Thanks for the invitation to a very nice reading.
I also appreciate it very much.
greetings with love
😉
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very good post. thanks for sending it along, @crypto.piotr
Thanks for dropping by @bluefinstudios
The most important part of starting out is consistency and sticking to the goals you have set. I'm not a huge fan of motivational videos because i have watched a few of them. To me, it's always seemed like spending the exact time i should have used in perfecting a skill at listening to some guy on youtube. But i have a few friends who would really disagree. So, it's just my opinion.
This post is important to me as a timely note to self that only through hard work and consistency alone can we measure up to the level we want to be. Apart from that, i have no right to be angry when i see others win. After all, i did not put in the work.
Brilliant comment @pangoli
So we're on the same page here.
sometimes I do actually like to watch those people and Im trying to learn how do they talk to people. And how do they "brainwash" them :)
Thank you for sharing your view on this particular issue. Appreciate it a lot.
Cheers, Piotr
Lol... they're excellent presenters, there's no denying that. I need such presentation skills for my project defence in college later this year.
Hi @cryptopiotr. We must stoically assume our mistakes without disappointing ourselves. @pangoli offers a Solution: if we are learning, if we are starting in something for which we do not have enough skill, we must continue trying and not decay in our purposes. This means assuming our weaknesses. We do not resolve anything by being hard on ourselves. That brings diseases and hinders our relationships with others
Greetings @pangoli, @crypto.piotr asked me to comment here, so I'll share some of my thoughts.
Firstly I personally reject the notion of imperfection or 'work-in-progress' as a standard of comparison between human beings (eg the professional and the 'non' professional). Having said that, I think I agree with certain points, if not the implications that are drawn from them!
False expectations of basing the future on the past or wishful thinking based on fantasy, leads to disappointment, agree. I disagree that hard work makes a difference - if the expectation is based on fantasy, one will only be working harder towards something that isn't achievable and therefore the disappointment will be greater. Hard work is no fun. Intense effort (another way of looking at the notion of 'hard work') need not be 'hard work' if one is truly engaged. In other words if I'm trying to do something then I just do not know how to do it (else I would be doing it and not 'trying to do it') - and the more I try to do it, the less I am able to. I can stand back and see the issue if I am not so caught up in my expectations (or desires, hopes, fears etc), but to do this, I need to stop for a moment, to pause. If I am constantly comparing myself to others - ie success is a measure against other people - then I am never going to pause and will be forever scrambling and stressed (disappointed).
I like the tone of encouragement in your post, but I am not comfortable with the labels of good and bad. I consider everyone utterly unique and therefore beyond realistic comparibility. When we try and become something/someone other by comparing ourselves negatively to something/someone else, then we are distorting our nature in order to achieve something (wealth, status, fame and all the other empty promises of 'success').
I consider every moment to be in and of itself perfect. Nature never makes aesthetic mistakes - does a leaf on a tree ever look out of place? I consider an attempt to control or influence this already existing perfection (or state of 'success') an attempt to distort what is 'natural', instead of seeing, accepting it and utilising it for self-expansion as a natural by-product of conscious living.
Dear @barge
Great to hear from you. I didn't "see" you in a while.
Im sorry for sending you memo. I now remember you asked me not to do so. I will do my best to remember not to bother you in the future. Thx for your patience and understanding.
But Im glad you decided to share your view with us. Amazing read.
Yours
Piotr
I applaud your views and perspective to this discourse. Gives a whole new interpretation to it all which makes this post and comment section a real value mine. Lots to discover for everyone who is reading. Thank you for your input. Cheers!
Helpful perspective... especially for content creators who aren't yet getting a response or following they are hoping for at first.
There is a lot of self-doubt to deal with at such stages in any ambition. I believe this perspective at least, offers a way to keep one going during such times, with the constant reminder that they only need to improve and watch things get better from there.
Cheers!
I play tennis from time to time and see and hear the disappointment that players feel with their own performance (easier to see with others than one self). Then your post's title describes well what I feel and I remind myself to stay realistic with my expectations. It is easy to set the bar too high after watching pros on d or u tube. It is fantastic to have world-class ambitions in one or two projects - and to take it a bit easier for our other activities.
Sometimes we beat too hard on ourselves. Understanding that these things take time and assiduous practice is the only way to remain focused on the goal and not feel useless already.
Thanks for weighing in.
Hi @mariusfebruary
I dont think we ever had a chance to get to know each other. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Yours
Piotr
So much of what you are saying just draws back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for me. Lessons include:
Learning these lessons slowly in a physical sense makes it so much easier to accept them on a more general level.
I just try and teach my kids to have fun being bad at something and to never stop learning. It is just time and that is all we have.
Hi @zekepickleman
Do you do BJJ? I tried but after 2 years my knees started getting bad so I figured that I will just stick to western boxing (my original sport).
Cheers
Piotr
I sure do. Currently purple belt. Staying active and protecting my knees and the rest of my body enables me to keep going. I love to train occasionally in the boxing classes we have too as it is great for a change and to inspire the brain. Advancing in boxing is not much of an option for me as that comes with repeated head strikes which I am not into.
Same success criteria though which is great.
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Bit-sized nuggets. Love them.
Like they say, learning never ends. I think you make an awesome dad.
Cheers, Zeke!
You shouldn’t claim that til you have met my kids. ;)
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lol... Oh c'mon. Unless you're Hitler, you cannot be that evil. :-D
well done. nicely written, and it is a difficult subject to discuss. thanks for bringing it up.
Thanks, Blue. I am glad you enjoyed reading through.
Being consistent allows you to learn quicker to adjust and adapt in order to improve. While we may be disappointed with outcomes, have in mind that these experiences provide the knowledge for self improvement and development!
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Agreed!
Hi @newageinv
Very well said my friend.
Would you consider yourself consistent? You give me impression that you are (based on your activity here on Steemit)
Cheers
Piotr
Lol.. Newageinv is literally everywhere, and his growth has been amazing i was surprised to see him at 61 just a few days after i saw him at rep 60! I might need to borrow
a pagehis entire book. :-DAren't you also everywhere @pangoli? :)
I obviously learned from the best :-D
Appreciate your kind comment @pangoli
Have a great upcoming weekend
Piotr
Believe me, I'll keep it in mind from now on. It's normal to get discouraged when what you do doesn't go well, but I've never seen it from that perspective...
What to say when all is said? That's how I feel.
Perhaps my comment does not add value to your publication, or maybe it does, but what I want to get to is that it is better to face that feeling of failure from the point of view in which you pose the scenario. Greetings!
Well appreciated! This post will serve as a reminder for me as well for those times i would need it. This year, i have set some goals for myself and i am yet to set the ball rolling. I expect a few disappointments along the way but hopefully, with the right understanding, i'll shrug it off and not get discouraged, but rather put in more work.
Brilliant comment @psi1826
It is interesting how much we can "discover" and learn from changing "angle" and seeing things from different perpective. Isn't it?
I think we both with @pangoli are glad that you reached out and shared your thoughts.
Yours
Piotr
I’ve never had the time to feel this way (except for a period when I was depressed). I keep myself busy, either discovering stuff that I’m curious about or analysing what I already know, or enjoying leisure time.
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@pangoli amigo muy buen punto el que relatas.
Es impresionante como día a día estamos más inmersos en reflejarnos en la vida de otros y creemos por vista que somos ellos y que podemos lograrlo cuando no hemos aun aprendido a ver nuestras propias capacidades y amarnos a nosotros mismos en un auto concepto de sí mismos de cómo estamos para lograr las cosas que anhelamos.
Este post es bastante corto, pero puntual en lo que al tema de superación y esfuerzo se requiere.
Saludos y sigue adelante!
Gracias por escribir. Se mejora con el tiempo y la práctica. Creo que todos pueden aprender sobre sus capacidades a través del compromiso con la práctica. Sin eso, nada puede valer la pena.
Gracias por tu contribución. Usé el traductor de Google para escribir esto. jajaja Todavía no he tenido el privilegio de aprender el idioma español.
ps. I hope you don't mind @pangoli that I will bring some traffic to your post and promote it within out small community, as Im very interested with this topic.
Would you have time to reply to comments?
Yours
Piotr
Sludos @crypto.piotr gracias por la invitación , buen post, analizare y estaré comentando.
Sludos @ crypto.piotr thanks for the invitation, good post, I will analyze and I will be commenting.
Sludos? :)
Sure! Thank you
Im happy to help @pangoli :)
I'm interested in your 'little' community. I also love your method of curation. How do i support or become a part of it?
Good morning @pangoli
It seem that Ive managed to get you some extra traffic and several valuable people did drop some valuable comment :) Im glad to see that.
Hope you're enjoying and replying to everyone :)
Perhaps you could also drop few comments in different topics and engage with other authors Im trying to promote?
That would help me to establish more healthy connection between you guys.
@robertoueti:
https://steemit.com/steem/@robertoueti/the-past-we-had-internet-now-we-have-steem
@hobo.media:
https://steemit.com/steem/@hobo.media/would-mass-adoption-make-steem-more-equal
And also please check out my latest post and drop some comment too :)
Cheers buddy
Piotr
Will sure check them out. You sure have a cool way of driving engagement.
Thank you @pangoli :)
ps.
you're very responsive which is absolutely great and steemit community surely will benefit by having you here.
if you would ever like to keep in touch and support each other closer, then drop me a message [email protected].
This will allow us to communicate easier.
No pressure of course,
Cheers, Piotr
A wonderful approach to the topic of depression. Of course it is very complicated to deal with the problem, but your point of view could certainly help one or other. Follow & Resteem 😎
Helps one take the bull by the horn and to not feel like they're probably 'not cut out for a chosen field'. You can be better at anything you choose to pursue if you stick at it despite the many challenges you might have encountered. No need to sulk, after all, you're just not good enough yet.
Thanks for your input, it's much appreciated.
Hello, due to different life situations that occur in my country, I have felt this way as described in your post, a little disappointed. But I think the key to everything is how you see the situation of things, and see what effort you do to improve a little the situation that you are going through. Here in my country, I think most Venezuelans are disappointed, in fact many have left for other countries looking for a better future, but I still believe that we must continue working to improve this country.
Thanks for reaching out... I have heard so much about Venezuela and the civil crisis and unrest ongoing there. It's normal to expect that with the turmoil and disappointment, a lot of people would leave (I even talked to a friend of mine about it and advised him to leave the country if he feels the problem might escalate to a point of war) but it really isn't the answer. That's just a means to avoiding the troubles and running away from a possible solution. I'm glad to find that a lot of people like yourself, are optimistic about restoring peace and safety to the country and i really hope the crisis comes to a halt soon. Cheers.
Even though you say you struggled I look at your rep and you are 66. You have nearly 1000 SP so I look at your Steemit account as a success in my eyes. You saw an opportunity and built a following . And I don’t really know you. I was lucky when I started to get to know a few people around the same SP and sign up and we help each other . I am now making around 1 quid a post when is great but it was hard work. Still not great but a few curies along the way made me stay trying. Give it another year and we will be millionaires @pangoli! 😀😀.
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Thank you for your kind words... It wasn't easy getting in when the price was just about to explode then. A lot of users were joining too and the competition was really stiff. I tried my best, but i also got lucky to find a supportive community like @steemstem. I owe a great part of my early success to writing science articles on here. And then recently, to @oracle-d. They've kept the platform going even in the dips.Feel free to check these communities out if they interest you.
I just gave you a follow, i intend to stick to my feed in the coming months. I'll be happy to engage with what you share. Thanks for being here.
Hi @blanchy
Thank you for sharing your view on this particular issue. Appreciate it a lot.
ps. how is Ireland now? I used to live in Dublin 2005-2007 and I loved it there. I've heard that it has all changed a lot and Dublin is flooded with tons of people from all over the world?
Cheers, Piotr
Yeah Dublin is great now . It’s proberly the most international city in Europe at the moment . The food is getting tastier and there is a nice atmosphere about the place with people living here from all over the world. Ireland has changed a lot and is now very progressive . Going in the right direction unlike some other countries I feel. It’s a nice feeling to live here.
Hope and disappointment are part of life. One can be disappointed because one may have too much expectations. When our expectations are not fulfilled, we get discouraged and lose confidence. When a person thinks too much about winning he gets disappointed because of a minor failure. We should have sportsman spirit. We should condition ourselves to accept defeat. We must not make failures as prestige issue. This can help a lot.
Absolutely correct. That is the spirit of sportsmanship; To maintain a bright front in the face of glaring defeat and to vow to perform better in the next events..
Dear @akdx
I didn't hear from you in a while. Great to see that you're still around :)
Very true. The question is: how do we deal with those disappointments. Many of us do not know how to handle it.
Great comment buddy
Piotr
Thanks buddy! I was very busy in previous month. Now, I am free.
Welcome back then @akdx :) Not much really happened on Steemi in past month. Will be easy to catch up
Thank you dear! I am hopeful.
Maybe I'm wired weird, but I find these sort of "beat you over the head with your own incompetency" kind of rallying calls far more motivating than the lighthearted "you can do this!" motivational speech. Realistically, we all need both, and it depends on where you're at in that moment. For now, your message resonates, especially as I'm taking on a new, enormous task.
I found your post because @crypto.piotr sent me a message with the link here.
I agree. This is timely and i am sure we needed it at such a time too. I got the idea for this post here: https://jamesclear.com/articles and i was more than inspired and happy to share because of the lessons i was sure others could draw from it just like i did. Thanks to @crypto.piotr, this got a lot more eyes than i had thought was possible at this time. Glad you could take some time out of your busy schedule to comment, i appreciate that. :-D
I love the fact that you're so responsive and supportive @pangoli
It makes me feel that my effort and time I've spent to promote your content didn't go for waste.
Yours
Piotr
Interesting comment @michaias
Why would you consider yourself wired weirdly?
Yours
Piotr
I blame pop culture stereotypes about positivity and positive reinforcement. To be clear, I'm not saying those things are bad; I'm just saying they don't work all the time. I do still appreciate them from other people, depending on context.
However, when we're talking about the self-talk I have to give myself to get motivated, @pangoli's message resonated better for me.
I often think of this song lyric from All Get Out: "In the end, you're free to be the sum of all your failures"
That usually gets me motivated to do better and work harder.
I love to see how responsive you are @michaias
Appreciate your comment.
Yours, Piotr
Greeting, I have never focused the feeling of disappointment towards me. Life and circumstances are very changeable to believe that the beginning and end of something depends 100% of me, I think that would be a very heavy burden.
. I do what I have to do and then let life take its course. I think you have to know how to end something and start over, one day at a time.
Then, maybe I'll be bad enough always in everything, but in the end I always think that I have more than what I need.
Hi @mariita52
You must be emotionaly very strong person.
Wow. that's impressive statement. I guess you experienced a lot in your life already.
Yours
Piotr
Hi, Piotr. I was raised by a grandmother who was abandoned by her husband with 8 children and pregnant. I left her in a room of 4x4 mts and she went ahead and my mother who shared my upbringing always told me: we are cork and blanket, which means that we only need a cork to put on the floor to lie down and a blanket to cover us, I invite you to meet my mother and a little of my history. Regards...
https://steemit.com/life/@mariita52/consider-it-all-joy
https://steemit.com/bdcommunity/@mariita52/my-entry-for-first-5-days-of-2019-contest-post
Thank you for sharing with me @mariita52. Will check those links before bedtime.
Yours
Piotr
Thank you for keeping me in mind and for the beautiful work you do, Greetings from Venezuela.
(I use google translator).
Appreciate your kind comment @mariita52
Have a great upcoming weekend
Piotr
I always think the same, if something affects us negatively because not being able to get up and being our own critic is the best.
When something bad happens to me I think "everything is psychological" and I continue to place barriers where there are none, in this life everything can be, you can take years conquering the girl that more. Trying to be the best at something and never achieve it but from my humble opinion I think it is better to never try and it is better to stumble 1000 times and get up to always leave everything for a minimum setback.
So let's raise our lives to the fullest and be a free people in such a wonderful world where we are the ones who place obstacles.
Very good post @pangoli
Thanks @ crypto.piotr for teaching me this wonderful post: D
I appreciate your input. If i got you correctly, you're saying it's better to motivate ourselves and be our own critics. You're also stating that it such a waste of time to begin something and then quit after a minimum setback, and that it is way better to stick to it and try to improve if you think you have a chance of succeeding. Thank you...
yes friend is exactly what I meant and thank you for that article
Hi @memes777
Thanks for sharing your view with us on that particular issue. And happy new year :)
Yours
Piotr
Happy year friend that is a year of many blessings, greetings from Venezuela
I totally agree that only professionals can feel disappointed, since they have already put the effort and time to get where they are.
Beginners still need to learn a lot, put effort and time, learn and study until they reach a level that understands and understands that their strategy is wrong given the set of rules.
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Hi @pangoli
I believe you can be disappointed in your results, even if you are a beginner or amateur. If you were happy with your bad results, you would most probably not be motivated to improve. I however believe you should keep on working to improve your results, through practice you should be able to improve. Even people born with exceptional talent can still improve through practice and hard work. The best athletes still practice and receives coaching to even improve on records set by themselves.
At first a child trembles and falls several times when they try to walk but after a while those weak muscles learn the art of walking. We shouldn't feel bad in situations like this, we should just keep doing "me" until it becomes perfect.
You are right about this.