ohhh babes! I am so sorry to hear that. :(
It's okay not to be okay
I have always been a negative and depressed person since I was a kid and I know it is not easy. Everyone deals with it differently I am glad You have found Your way.
For sure You know that being online it is super hard... because it is a 24 hours job.... no rest... and I think that's what pushed you to that place because maybe lately You have been putting even more work into it... and You have started to feel it as an obligation. You just need to find a balance where You do it as a Job but You enjoy the majority of the moments and also give Yourself a weekly break where You can have a couple of more quiet days.
We are here for You if You need anything and I hope You are feeling better already :D