"My rewards are the small moments of connection with nature, the smells of the blooming plants. " I think is all in these words. I don't think you're insane, I think you're more sane than others! I'm lucky because now I can appreciate every single part of myself in relation with the nature, but it was a long walk to arrive here, so I wish you all the best.
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Thank you for the support and kind words. Still working on finding our purpose out here. Perhaps our anger stems from this feeling. Hopefully we have many more years to try and correct these issues and reveal our more stoic sides with everyone.