I lost my dad when i was 5
I never had the chance to actually know him. All i remember is playing nes games with him. I still play games today in his honor.
I was named after him
My mom became an alcoholic
Grandmother was very controlling and had a severe form of ocd and she was a leader in my town.
Church
My aunt was schizo and had the same bday as me.
I thought i was cursed.
I thought it was my fault
None of these people were ever here for me at all.
I only knew video games
Friends
Music
And entertainment
I still have issues from my very authoritative childhood.
I could not accept myself as a human being till rather recently.
The era i grew up in saved my life.
It sucks that you feel like this is taken away from you.
I learned though that i will never let anyone control me.
Nor will i ever control another person.
I got your back just think that he is a part of your soul now. Every thing you do is a extension of him. I do that with my father. Do everything to cherish his life show give love do everything from the heart. It gets me by on bad days when i think about it. I hope you are feeling ok talk to me if ya need.