When thinking of successful people, we often assume that they are smart. They must have a high IQ.
But in reality, an extremely high IQ can actually be counterproductive – the people with the highest IQ levels are often not the ones that are making the most money.
What’s more important than your IQ is your EQ – Your Emotional Intelligence Quotient.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
People often think that Emotional Intelligence means you are an extrovert, and love to communicate with people. But that’s not actually the case.
This is the definition of Emotional Intelligence:
“The ability to recognize and understand your emotions , in yourself and in others. And the ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.” - Quote from the book "Emotional Intelligence 2.0"
These are the elements of Emotional Intelligence:
- Self-awareness: Knowing yourself and your goals, feelings, needs, strengths & weaknesses. You have to know yourself to know how you behave in certain situations, and how you could change that.
- Motivation: Having the ability of motivating yourself over and over again. With this skill, you always have enough strength to keep going and don't get frustrated that easily.
- Communication skills: Being able to communicate your needs and feelings, and being able to listen to and understand other's feelings.
- Self-controlling: The ability to control your own emotions, rather than being a victim to them. This is important when you're angry or sad, and you are able to calm yourself down or cheer yourself up.
- Social Competence: The ability to build lasting relationships with people, manage conflicts, and also leadership qualities.
- Empathy: Being able to put oneself in the position of someone else. Try to accept and understand the other's point of view, no matter how different it may be from your own.
Emotional Intelligence can also be described in these four skills:
- The ability to understand your own emotions: Being aware of the different emotions you can feel, and which situations trigger which emotions.
- The ability to control your emotions: You need to be able to discipline and control yourself, and not give in to every emotion.
- The ability to read other’s emotions: Could also be compared with empathy. This is simply your ability to understand what others are feeling, and understanding their point of view.
- The ability to manage your relationships: How are you interacting with people? Are you provoking a lot of arguments, or are your relationships going smoothly?
Your EQ consists of all these things, and you will probably be more skilled in one aspect than in others.
So why is this important in our daily lives?
People with high Emotional Intelligence are often successful in both their personal lives and careers. Their personal life benefits because they get on with their partners and family members well, and because they manage conflicts confidently and constructively. They are also good listeners and often liked, and they are content and balanced because they feel good for themselves.
They are successful at their job, because they can handle people very well and they have good leadership skills.
Let’s look at all the daily things that our EQ is connected to:
- Communication - do you communicate well with others? Can you communicate your feelings? Do you communicate if you have a problem with something or somebody?
- Accountability – how much are you able to take on yourself before blaming other people?
- Decision making - Do you change your opinions and decisions often? Do you procrastinate or sometimes take a long time to decide?
- Honesty and trust – are you able to act truthfully in social situations or do you tell many white lies? Are you honest to yourself?
- Confidence - If you're lacking in confidence, you are most likely also lacking in Emotional Intelligence.
- Stress Tolerance - are you often anxious or stressed, thinking negatively? Do you judge yourself or feel guilty?
- Speaking skills - are you comfortable at holding a presentation or speaking in front of a group of people? Are you able to motivate or inspire others?
- Listening skills - are you able to emphasize with what someone is telling you, and can you reflect back to them that you understood what they told you?
- Flexibility - are you able to change plans quickly or do you have your fixed principles, which you like to stick to at all times?
Okay, Emotional Intelligence seems to be helpful in our daily lives.. So can you improve it?
Yes! As opposed to IQ, you can work on your EQ and develop it more.
Tip 1: Study yourself.
Emotional Intelligence has a lot to do with knowing yourself.
So ask yourself: What has influenced the way I am? What do I need, want expect in life? What are my goals? What determines my thoughts, actions and emotions?
Tip 2: Manage criticism better
Learn to accept criticism and understand your opponent's point of view. Don't feel hurt or insecure, but manage to learn from that criticism and change your behaviour. Also learn to criticize other constructively, not impulsively.
Tip 3: Learn to handle emotions.
Don't be afraid of your emotions, or the emotions of others. If you learn to handle emotions better, you will react confidently and calmly in emotionally difficult situations.
Ask yourself multiple times during the day: Why do I feel this emotion right now? What triggered it, and how am I dealing with it? Does it influence my behaviour?
Tip 4: Improve your communication skills.
Communication is the key factor in Emotional Intelligence. First, you need to identify your problem - are you scared of talking about difficult points, or are you nervous speaking in front of people, or are you simply lacking the vocabulary to correctly express yourself sometimes?
Either way, you can improve it! There are many youtube videos and articles that will help you deal with your specific issue.
Tip 5: Accept that everybody thinks and feels differently.
Empathy is a big part of Emotional Intelligence. But often we can't empathize with someone, because their views are so different than ours.
Accept the fact that everybody is different, and that someone might have a completely different opinion or view than you - and that's totally fine. Learn to still emphasize with them!
So in conclusion, work on your Emotional Intelligence and it will have an aspect on many different areas of your life! EQ has a higher value than IQ nowadays, and it can be improved!
- Instagram -
© Sirwinchester
Great post.
I might add that one of the best methods for achieving some of your tips such as studying yourself and managing your emotions is to do some mindfulness or meditation on a regular basis.
It allows you to first of all identify the kind of thoughts that trigger certain emotions and also to develop better control of them over time.
https://steemit.com/health/@sirwinchester/meditation-benefits-techniques-tips-and-info-for-beginners
https://steemit.com/life/@sirwinchester/mindfulness-what-is-it-what-are-the-benefits-and-how-to-practice-it
@sirwinchester is very varied... He already did posts with this kind of topic ;)
Cool thanks for the links.
great addition, thank you! I'm a big fan of mindfulness and meditation as well, I have written 2 posts about those topics, what a coincidence! I see, we are on the same wave length!
Fantastic. I only recently started following you after you did a car post so I probably missed them will check them out when I have a moment:)
I do agree with you. Meditation and mindfulness help balance our emotions.
This was so nice to read because I fully grasp all of this, yet I so rarely meet others who do.
I was gifted with a substantive dose of emotional fitness at a young age, but then I learned to grow that and master myself after I reached adulthood. My life is bearing fruit in countless ways from it, and I truly am saddened when I see so many people struggling to make it in the world, and so often it is only themselves in their way.
Thanks for sharing your story, it's great that you learned so much at a young age. Everyone should have a basic understand of this, to use it to their advantage!
I'm super excited to see this content doing well on Steemit! I think emotional intelligence is super important, and I'm glad to see the whales here value it also.
I myself am part of a men's group at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage that has been hugely valuable to me in increasing my own emotional intelligence. It has also provided an awesome opportunity for me to help support other men in developing their emotional intelligence as well.
Thanks so much for writing this post and showing me this category of content has potential on this platform. Very exciting!
Thank you for your feedback, happy to hear that you enjoyed the post! It is an important topic that's often overlooked!
And I think it's awesome that you're helping others improve their EQ too, keep it up!
This is a REALLY important post!
I hope that many read it and meditate upon it!
You are right about everything mentioned in this post and it is amazing how off track most people are in what success is.
The truth is in order to run a successful company you have to have good EI because you have to interact with people. Same thing goes with good relationships and what is the point in having lots of money anyways without good relationships?
I won't say anymore as this article was very comprehensive.
I am following you and hope see more posts of such quality!
Steem On!!!
Thank you for your feedback, glad to hear that you enjoyed it! I also hope that lots of people read this and then take action accordingly. It can be a big improvement to anyone's life!
Yes and a big improvement that schools don't talk about nor society in general.
So not only is it important but also very lacking.
Keep up the good work!
Good post highlighting Emotional Intelligence, which is the way of the future. Emotional Intelligence or the presence/lack there of can be the deciding factor in a violent confrontation, in a relationship (regardless if its intimate or let's say with a neighbor), in pretty much everything we do. It lets us interpret the news in a way that leads to understanding through empathy.
It's not just about you though and ultimately the benefit to yourself is lesser than the benefit to others, particularly if you are in a job where you interact with the public on a regular basis. Emotional Intelligence is about how you relate to others; can you put yourself in the shoes of others, even if you have nothing in common on the surface?
Thanks for your interesting comment - you are right. EQ is important in a lot more factors of our life than we think.
You have to be able to put yourself in the other person's shoes, EVEN if it's a completely different opinion than your own!
Emotional intelligence is something we all must sharpen and utilize. We are very emotional beings therefore we must access all energy sources from each emotion and channel them properly into the fuel for our dreams goals and aspirations. Great post bro. Look forward to more.
You can improve your IQ as well. I have tested at 90 through to 145
Really high value content, thanks for sharing @sirwinchester!
A great article, Tony! I am glad to know you in person and I am looking forward to your Steemit Meetup in Hamburg this Friday!
Thank you for your feedback, appreciate it! Looking forward to meeting you again on friday!
Nice article sir, upvoted ofc
I just feel free to show you a schematic that summs it up well:
Have a great day everybody!
Already tense about your next blog post @sirwinchester ;-)
and the "deep dinosaur" ;)
good summary, thank you!
@sirwinchester You may be the most interesting man on Steemit! Keep it up!
thank you for the compliment, appreciate it! Yes I try to post different things, and share my creativity in different ways - glad that you enjoy it
+1 Great INFO !!!!
I always found it strange that in America we are not taught things such as this. Freshman College class is 'Interpersonal Communications", where you learn HOW to talk to others !!!!! ??? Seems like it SHOULD be taught in a grade school class imho !!!
Pretty fascinating. And as you said, a high IQ does not necessarily mean a success any more than a PHD makes someone a great doctor. Intelligence is definitely an important factor, because unless you happen to be an inventor or very creative person, I'd wager most successful people have an above average IQ.
But being able to have a bedside manner makes a doctor far more valuable than solely knowledge.
You're a very knowledgeable person and it's clear through your interactions that you know how to converse with people in a direct approach that is respectful and intelligent, but not confrontational or out of control in any way. (We all have our limits, but everything you have wrote about here is extremely good advice to take note of and put into practice).
Emotional intelligence is something we all must sharpen
Following your posts is a true therapy!
I know you are the best to teach them. I will always support you!!!
thank you!! Glad to hear that you enjoyed it and I hope many people can learn from it.
great topic, very very interesting! upvoted!
thank you! glad you liked it
once again, a very informative and helpful article. I had no idea that emotional intelligence influenced this much in our lives!
it's crazy, and for the impact that it has, not many people know about it at all!
I love how different your content is. Educational posts like this are awesome!
thank you, glad to know that you enjoyed my post!
Interesting
thanks!
I have heard a lot about EQ but never really knew what it was. thanks for explaining in such an understandable way!
you're welcome, glad to share my knowledge about such an important topic with others. It relates to all of us!
love your content, really interesting! followed ;)
appreciate that!
I definitely lack in my communication skills. Now I know what to improve. great article @sirwinchester
thank you, glad that it could be helpful to you!
everyday, you surprise us with something else on steemit! Well done!
that's my goal ;) thanks for the feedback!
I'm sure this article will help a lot of people! I know for sure that many people in my environment are lacking in managing criticism and controlling their emotions. very interesting topic
Thank you, feel free to share it with them! Just trying to spread my knowledge and share it with the community to help!
and people ask me why I switched from FB to steemit.. because you don't find educational stuff like this on FB !!
you are probably right! I love reading through steemit as well, so many interesting articles everyday!
definitely upvoted! how did you choose this topic? Very interesting choice, EQ should be discussed more
it's just something I've been interested in, and it's overlooked by most people so I thought why not bring some attention to the topic !
great post @sirwinchester agree with every word, as for me I'll have to work hard to bring your EQ in order :)
it may be hard work, but definitely worth it! Keep going, you can do it :)
I know 10 people from the top of my head that need to read this. thanks for sharing, great information
a lot of people should take note of it! It's very important but mostly overlooked
Interesting perspective on intelligence :-)
(thanks for upvote )
you're welcome!
And thank you, it's a form of Intelligence that is mostly overlooked!
I think self control is probably the most important part of EI. many people can't handle it at ALL!
definitely! and controlling your emotions is also one of the hardest skills to obtain!
cool post, a LOT of people lack in emotional intelligence and should definitely give this a read
totally agreed, it's important to almost everyone's life, yet not many people know about it
awesome post once again. I think EQ should be taught in schools. Nowadays it's definitely something your boss pays attention to, so why should you not prepare for it BEFORE getting your first job ?
that's a very good suggestion. It would reduce the violence rate in schools for sure
I always thought that emotional intelligence was basically the same as EMPATHY, but guess I was very wrong! thanks for the info, this was a very interesting read
many people make that assumption, glad that you found my post to be helpful!
I have heard of "EQ" so many times already but I guess I always misunderstood what it really meant. You made it sound so easy!
many scientific articles make it sound very complex which makes people not want to dig deeper. That's a pity, the concept itself is not complicated at all!
definitely many things in here that I didn't know about. Thanks for clarifying, I never realized EQ was so important!
thanks for your feedback, I'm glad that you enjoyed it !
High IQ is perceived to be a blessing. It is not. I've been surrounded by people with high IQs all my life. I perceive myself to be happier. To such an extent, that when pregnant with my children, I hoped that their IQs wouldn't be too high. I don't know if I got my wish, probably not, but at least for now they are happy. EQ enables you to LIVE in this world.
couldn't agree with you more. a very high IQ is often a curse rather than a blessing. EQ makes you enjoy life more, being more balanced and happy overall!
I appreciate the detailed information in this, how long did it take you to come up with this post?
It did take some time, but I enjoy sharing information about a topic I care about. thanks for your feedback and glad to hear that you enjoyed it!
Interesting article. Thank you!
you're welcome, glad you enjoyed it!
I have written on this topic as well. But you, @sirwinchester, is the better writer. I tip my hats off. Thank you for this.
https://steemit.com/life/@cjclaro/daily-digest-1-why-eq-is-better-than-iq
great post, upvoted
you are so kind @sirwinchester. thanks for the upvote.
As usual, well done! Your skills are many and varied. I would peg you as high in each skill set of EQ. I need to work on mine. I will just add it to my list :)
that's great, keep working on it and it will pay off!
Great post @sirwinchester. I was actually thinking about posting something about the same topic just a couple of days ago. Daniel Goleman has written a lot about emotional intelligence. Definitely worth checking out some of his stuff too.
Thanks for the hint, yes I heard about him and should probably take look at his book! Very interesting topic
Really great post. Well written and to the point. I'm a long believer in the admonishment to "know thyself"
Great post indeed, I enjoyed reading tips and what are the factors that sometime we feel uneasy yet we find a way to cope with it. When we are too emotional or too intellectual...
very interesting post, thanks @sirwinchester
@sirwinchester
I don't think any of these two exist. They are both something that has to do with social training/ learning the parametres of the game. For example I.Q can be trained if you take tets and improved up to 24%. That's like going from potato to very smart.
E.Q can also be look as a way to manipulate people. You learn how people react to things and then use it to your own advantage. Psychopaths do this very well.
Well, of course EQ and IQ are just scientific numbers to calculate your abilities. These numbers are not everything. But the core principle is that there is a fundamental difference between being "smart", being able to understand logic and solve problems quickly, and being social, getting on with people very well and solving conflicts easily!
@sirwinchester
they are not scientific. they are a meme of pseudoscience with the name of psychology. The numbers are nothing. if you want google "debunking I.Q" and see how all previous research is invalidated.
You last 2 lines are just filler words
You make good points. A lot of people on the Asperger's/Autism scale have very high IQ but low EQ.
Love this! Emotional intelligence is highly underrepresented in a lot of low paying jobs, which is such a shame! Employees don't get paid enough to deal with emotionally frustrated customers who can't even grasp how much they hurt others.
Emotional intelligence makes handling difficult customers that much easier and can make a crappy job a little more tolerable.
It also makes it easier to get to know people you've had a hard time relating to. Empathy can give you an edge in your professional career by not coming across as a faker when it comes to impressing your peers!