I like this post Mindi. You and I are going through similar processes. I too suffered years of living based on pleasing others, but no more. Although that wiring is still in me so those thoughts come back from time to time.
I love that you bring up the other side. The “I don’t give a fuck what they think...” as still caring, underneath, what others think. This is true. “They”, the “other” wouldnt even come to our minds if we TRULY didn’t care what others thought.
I call this false bravado. Yelling “I don’t care” to overcome what’s true, that you do care, is employed by people rampantly today. I think it’s fine to use as a tool. To help us get over the stuck hump and do what we want to do even though we are afraid of what others will think. The key is being honest with ourself that we are using that technique as a tool vs believing and clinging to our own false bravado as truth.
Hey! So brave of you going through this process as well.
In the end we all are, but not everybody is aware of it. And I believe that's the key to many of our 'demons', awareness.
So nice to connect with you, (what's your name?) I love exchanging thoughts with like-minded people. I value your comment and honor your journey. Bless!!! Mindi!
My name is Cindy. Nice to “meet” you here as well. You’ve been here as long as me, but our paths just now crossed. It is so nice that a group of open minded self seekers is growing here! Yes, we all have our demons but the key is awareness. Hugs
Nice to meet you too! Hugs back!