Good morning Steemit!
Yesterday morning we got into a rather heated discussion at our house about makeup (of all things). Now we have four beautiful daughters. Their ages are 17, 13, and 11-year old twins. So all of them are at some stage of wearing makeup, although the twins are restricted to more muted color palettes until they gain more experience. Anyway, the discussion started not over my girls' makeup choices, but mine.
I woke up yesterday in a very, I don't want to adult mood. You know, one of those days where you just want to tell the world to "stay back about 10 feet if you don't want to loose your head". And I think that came through in my makeup choices. It was a little more dramatic, and edgy-er than I would normally do, but not so far off from the makeup I wore almost daily in my teens and 20s.
Nearly every member of my family felt the need to question my choices. Now, I realize that they are not used to me wearing much makeup, if any at all, so something more dramatic might be unusual, but I fail to see where it would become an issue. I have always encouraged the girls to explore their own creativity, yet somehow I am not allowed the same lee way. Why?
Anyway, given the obvious disdain my family units felt for it, including being told it "looked like crap" and "wasn't attractive or sexy at all", I caved and redid it to a style they are more used to. Although I truly did like the more dramatic look myself.
Which is where the argument ensued. Do women wear makeup to make themselves feel good about themsleves, or is it to be attractive to a potential mate? Should the opinion of those closest to us matter in how we choose to look and dress, and should we be forced to compromise or change to conform to their ideal of what we should be? It definitely raised a lot more questions than I would have ever expected. Especially given that we are trying to raise our girls to be strong, opinionated, creative women. It seems that conversations like this shouldn't be relevant within the environment we have tried to create for them. Yet it did happen, and I can't help but think that it has something to do with residual ideas of our own childhoods rearing their ugly heads.
Below is a side by side comparision of the two "me's" yesterday. What do y'all think? Should I have changed it?
How would you have handled the situation? How do you feel about the subject of makeup in general? Let me know in the comments what you think.
~Tabz
My links:
https://www.amazon.com/Tabz-Jones/e/B01CID4SAO/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/TabzColoringStalkers/
Websites:
https://www.ivyandbat.com/
https://gothictoggs.net/
FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/ivyandbat/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ivyandbat
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ivyandbat/
All images are the authors private photos and are strictly copyright protected.
Express yourself through make-up. There are no rules. A wise woman once told me that the most stylish people are the ones with the least amount of shame.
Make no apologies for your interiority and the way your heart moves you to express that in the world.
I'm going to follow you to make sure you never change your make-up to suit someone else's opinion again :)
Do you.
Thank you for the support! I spent a major portion of my "formative years" in a very strict household with very firm ideas and what a girl should and shouldn't be. I subconsciously forget sometimes that I don't have to be that way anymore. And I think we could all use a push every now and then to remember our voices. ♥
First, let me say I like both looks. I can see a place in your life for either. I think it's almost a community service for you to work indicate your mood in some visual way. We men are slow to pick up on subtle clues so it's a big help.
I believe women dress and wear makeup for other women. Guys aren't that concerned. I frequently hear the young ladies I work with complaining that they get no attention when dressed to kill, but as soon as the go to the store in sweatpants and bunny slippers so guy is hitting on them.
I think most guys prefer a minimalist approach to makeup. We hate going to bed with one woman and waking up to a stranger.
That being said, I think we should all do what makes us happy. Self expression is a good thing.
LOL, it's funny you should say that. My husband was the most vocal about it. He has always said he loves me regardless, but I think sometimes he has a hard time understanding that, as you pointed out, we women for the most part dress for ourselves. Confidence comes from being comfortable in your own skin, and some of us need a little help to feel that way. While it's wonderful for us to hear that you love us whether we are "dressed up" or not, sometimes we need to hear that the little extra things we do to make our selves feel better gets your attention too (in a good way). For someone who struggles with self-esteem issues, being told not to bother can be just as detrimental as a derogatory remark would be.
Women are so confusing
Yup, I will agree there. I've been here 43 years and I'm still trying to figure myself out, I can't imagine what it must be like for my hubby. Even after 17 years, he still has days where he just shakes his head.
1. Do women wear makeup to make themselves feel good about themsleves, or is it to be attractive to a potential mate?
I'm not huge into wearing ass loads of makeup. I usually go with a very natural look. At work/daily normal life I will typically wear physicians formula beauty balm, use bare minerals liquid concealer under my eyes and other areas I think need "brightening", brush over that with a little bare minerals concealer powder, then usually some physicians formula bronzer or blush, then a dash of bare minerals finishing powder. Takes me about 5-7 minutes. I usually will wear mascara. But no other eye makeup. Sometimes i enjoy a more muted lipstock (loreal), a bolder lipstock (bare minerals has a magenta i reallt like) , or a light color of one of the h2o lip gels. That is the basic routine i do for myself if going to work or out somewhere casual.
Some males enjoy the heavier makeup on me such as heavier eyeliner and eye shadow. I'm just lazy i guess. I don't think i need it to look "good". Sometimes its fun for me to do that. But rarely. Another issue is i have very sensitive eyes so i have to be careful it doesn't get in My eyes
2. Should the opinion of those closest to us matter in how we choose to look and dress?
To an extent. If I'm out ill try to wear a sundress or something he likes or dress up a little. Normally i wear athletic-casual type clothes, t shirts, comfy type clothes. I'll west those out and about too. If we are doing "date" night i will put more effort. Bottom line, if he likes something that I HATE or feels uncomfortableto me - don't care how much he likes it not wearing it. I don't keep up with all fashion trends for this reason. Some of them are uncomfortable. Don't get me started on skinny jeans....
3. should we be forced to compromise or change to conform to their ideal of what we should be?
NO, NO, AND A RESOUNDING NO
Also, I like both the pictures, you are beautful in both. However the one on the left is my favorite - you look super edgy, i don't see how anyone could possibly complain about your look. If anything, I'd sign up for you to do me up like that. 'Cept dk if i could pull off that lipstick lol
Resteemed
You could definitely pull it off. Especially the sharp contouring. I think the look would be really striking on you.♥
I don't usually wear alot of makeup. In fact, for quite a few years I didn't even own any. But that goes back to the depression and that is an even longer post for another day. And it's like I said in a previous post a few weeks ago, I spent alot of years ignoring ME in favor of everybody else. So facing that kind of opposition when you are trying to pull yourself back up is disheartening and can cause a backslide into that "comfortable" numbness really quickly. It's hard enough to fight the depression without having to fight the people in your life who are supposed to be supporting you too.
That's true. Don't listen to the naysayers! Do you tabz!