Having lost my own husband to cancer several years ago, I am somewhat familiar with many of the feelings you must be having now. I wish I could offer some wonerful advice for you, some magic pill that would make everything okay. But even with some similarities, there are differences in situation that go too deep for words. I remember giving my own husband such permission, which came suprisingly easy because of his pain which even the strongest medicines finally failed to resolve. In times such as those, no words will suffice, and each of us must journey though the situation in our own way.
Your writing is beautiful, and a fabulous testament to the love that is in your heart. I wish you strength. I wish you understanding. I wish you peace. And I wish you comfort that only true love can achieve. Those of us on the blockchain and in Discord are here for you, a surrogate family to help you though this, if you will lean on us. Let us help you through. And please remember that only love will transcend anything which this life can throw at us.
I am so sorry that you understand all too well what it is that I am going through, and it's brings me some peace seeing through you that life does continue after something so horrible. I do understand your ability to give permission "surprisingly easy"; when we love someone so much, it's too difficult to watch them suffer needlessly.
I appreciate your compliments and your well wishes too. Thank you again @thekittygirl.