It's hard to find good help these days. The boss is lucky to have you there, as a sort of woodpecker whisperer who can talk to birds and all. Valuable skills, nice to see you getting paid for that craft. Isn't this actually Wednesday? I think this is only Wednesday, that's going to be a 4.5 day weekend, you probably need to get that bird sorted out first?
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I can talk to the birds, but they don't listen. Attitude problems.