Exactly ma'am. It's hard to overcome pity and blame, that's why I try as much as possible to impact on any kid I see, correct them on the mistakes I've made that brought me pity, blame and shame. More importantly,try to make their minds flexible enough in order for them to easily unlearn whatever they think isn't good for them.
By doing this, I overcome self pity and blame. I also learn in the process.
Maybe you could try this out. It works for me. It might work for someone else