Hello again. It's interesting that you were surprised by your emotions, another confirmation that the psychological models proposing that everyone goes through a grieving process in some fixed, predictable way are all wrong. It's such an individual experience and one just has to take it one day at a time and cope as best they can. I read another very good post on the subject by @enchantedspirit. It contains some practical advice which is often more helpful than counselling, especially early on. I'm glad you had such a wonderful relationship with your mum.
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I know- there's meant to be this tried and tested pattern - and that's completely rubbish. Like you say- it's day by day. Thanks for the link - I'm off to investigate x