Hi - thank you! It was a difficult post to put into words, and I'm so glad it came across okay.
I think what has surprised me most has been the order the emotions are coming in... not very logical at all. I was pretty sound just afterwards, and the epic sadness comes in waves, but not in any way I would have expected, and triggered by things that come out of the blue.
Mostly, I'm just so grateful for having had such a kind and generous and loving mum. I lost her early, but what she gave me when she was with us, and continues to give me now- well, I count myself blessed.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment,
E x
Hello again. It's interesting that you were surprised by your emotions, another confirmation that the psychological models proposing that everyone goes through a grieving process in some fixed, predictable way are all wrong. It's such an individual experience and one just has to take it one day at a time and cope as best they can. I read another very good post on the subject by @enchantedspirit. It contains some practical advice which is often more helpful than counselling, especially early on. I'm glad you had such a wonderful relationship with your mum.
I know- there's meant to be this tried and tested pattern - and that's completely rubbish. Like you say- it's day by day. Thanks for the link - I'm off to investigate x