“We shall not cease from exploration, at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” -T.S. Eliot
I had a couple of great conversations recently with @ogc and @scottshots which inspired me to write about this subject. If you don't know this about me, I'm very, very passionate about education, our current system and education as a whole.
I find it interesting that when we are young say 4 to 6 years old, adults will ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” No matter what that little child says everyone smiles and tells them to go do that. Go be the astronaut or the princess or the fireman or the poet. There is no doubt in the child and there is an endless potential seen by everyone around them.
But then there is a subtle but noticeable shift that takes place. For me, it was around the age of 12 or 13. When well-meaning adults would ask, “What do you want to do with your life?” Suddenly the answer I gave didn’t get so much praise. The answer wasn’t met with smiles but frowns and furled brows. Their doubt had replaced the endless possibilities. This is where they would try to teach “how the world works.” This is where they try to protect you from heartbreak. They begin to indoctronate you into “reality.”
Make no mistake this comes from their perception of life and their broken dreams, it has nothing to do with “reality.” If they knew how the world really worked they would never stop a child from dreaming. But these were the people we loved, and we listened like kids who didn’t know any better. What they were telling us began to sink in. Almost immediately everything we had imagined came crashing down and we had to try and put our self-esteem back together.
For me, I don’t remember the exact day, but I distinctly remember the looks on my families face when I would tell them my dreams. Instead of smiles, it would be smirking. Instead of words like “You can do anything you put your mind to” it became, “Well we hope that happens for you, but we’ll see.” It has taken me this long in my life to realize that what they were saying to me at such a young age actually had nothing to do with me at all.
What’s funny is that this doesn't just happen as kids. If you woke up one day and were struck by an inspiration you could no longer ignore to change your life and follow your heart you might hear the same type of stuff from the people around you. People you even consider friends. If you tell someone you want to be a photographer, or an artist, or a writer, or a sculptor, or a poet, or a world traveler, maybe even a journalist, you will probably hear things like “There's no money in that.” Or “That's not a viable career choice, come back to reality, come back to planet earth.”
When did we all begin to accept that we will have to do things we hate doing for money? When did everyone agree that to survive on this planet we have to sacrifice our dreams? When did we stop believing in our imagination? Maybe that's a little too dark, but you understand my point.
I truly believe that we can Be and Do and Have whatever it is we want from this life. I'm extremely grateful that even though there have been a lot of people and tons of experiences to tell me otherwise, I always believed I could do whatever I wanted to do with my life. I never truly let go of the idea that anything was possible. It may have gotten pretty buried deep beneath all the bullshit, but it never really left me.
Do you remember being a kid? Do you remember the feeling of invincibility? I can look back and still feel it even though it is very faint. The feeling that my imagination could shape the reality I saw with my eyes. The feeling that something was always with me, that I was never alone, that I could never really be hurt, and that my dreams had no choice other than to become real because they were given to me.
A child doesn’t know what doubt is, that is an adult belief structure.
In order to become invincible again, we have to bring back that feeling and stoke the flame as if it were just barely lit. We must allow ourselves to dream again, to imagine endless possibilities. Except without the doubt. We have to gently let go of those little children inside of us that were hurt by the well-meaning adults. We have to gently tell them that there is nothing to be afraid of, that those adults didn’t understand what “Reality” truly is or how to shape it.
When an idea is planted in your mind, from wherever they come from, it is a gift that has been given to you. It is a journey that you must see to the end. It is a block of clay that you must mold and bring that idea into this reality. As if the idea is the finished dream and All That Is is the block of clay in which to mold.
During all this, we must bring back that childlike sense of invincibility. That feeling that everything is possible. That complete removal of all doubt. The trust that what was given to us is meant to become REAL.
Nothing is impossible! In fact, the only thing that would make anything impossible is the belief that it is.
Good Journey My Friends
You are absolutely right man!.. The new generation childs are very clever.. They could be anything they want..
Very intelligent post man.
Thanks
I'm excited to see what the next generation can do
they will success for good .
I still believe!!! Although, like we talked about, there was a period where I thought I had to do what I was "supposed" to do. I've tried hard to give my son freedom when it comes to planning for his future. Freedom to succeed in what he wants but also freedom to fail. I believe that the freedom to follow your desires, and learning from mistakes rather than being told everything to do makes for a much happier person. Awesome post Larry! Cheers!
I know you still believe Scott, you are a walking example of that belief. I just love that you not only give your son the support to do what he wants but accept that failure might be a part of the journey and that failure will ultimately guide him to what's right. Powerful stuff!
Thanks Larry, have a great weekend!
When I was a step mom, I had the opportunity To all of a sudden be a role model to two young boys. And I often thought, “what’s the worst that could happen from telling them they could be whatever they wanted?” My ex and I never stopped saying that. And of course they have changed their paths many times and probably will continue to through out life.
It’s always been so crazy to me that we ask a 17-year-old kid to decide definitively what they want to do for the rest of their lives, then take out a bunch of debt in student loans to then go to a school that doesn’t necessarily prepare them for life.
I think if I had to go back to being a kid and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would now say, “Content. Wise. Well traveled. Loved and happy. And the rest will fall into place.”
Even though they might change their paths and to have the confidence to trust themselves and their judgment is such an amazing foundation.
I've never thought of it that way, how in the hell do we ask a teenager to decide what they want to do with their life?
Your last line makes me think of my favorite quote from John Lennon, "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
Quite a true and practical writeup. It has gotten to a point that one can barely dream anymore, you pick an occupation nowadays for survival instincts instead of passion or love for it. Our parents now tell us what they want to do out of their own aspirations. I hope we can really come to that estate where we can dream again and parents support us all the way.
Picking an occupation for survival instead of passion sounds like hell to me now, but I did it as a young man too.
I think as a parent it is your duty to instill confidence in your child not doubt
Yes I still believe! Thanks Larry I really needed this. Today I'm wavering on it, but your words brought me back around. Deeply appreciate this!
Looking forward to talking LOA with you tonight!
Happy to help brother
This is such a beautiful article. I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately. I read another article that discussed this exact topic. The author stressed the importance of raising children to believe that anything was possible. The author had set goals for himself, that others felt were unrealistic. He continued to believe in his goals and accomplished a great deal. Once his goals were met, he made a decision and that decision was to raise his child to believe in LOA. He told her anything was possible. He tried to teach her LOA based on conversations and accomplishing goals. I think everyone's ideas get tarnished in life through interaction with others and experiences. However, it must be a choice to rebuild these ideas and beliefs to benefit your own life and society as whole. I think it is important to teach our youth that anything is possible. What you put out into the universe will come back.
Thank you for this article :).
I'd love to read that article Brittany if you can find it again
Thank you for reading and commenting
Hi @larrymorrison it is a great write up honestly life is a choice and we have the power to make everything we wish to happen to us, it just needs commitment and passion.Truly nothing is impossible .
I agree completely
Everything is as it is because it is.
Accept or fight it.
Only one of these brings peace of mind
Fair enough
Great reflections, Larry. It made me think of this I saw yesterday: https://www.facebook.com/humansofamsterdamm/photos/a.437829499597926.95297.406776679369875/1685100818204115/?type=3&theater
When did we start believing that it was only until we're children that we have the right to invent our lives? If as adults we don't do this, how can we teach our children to follow their dreams? Lovely article again!!
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Yes I still believe! Thanks Larry I really needed this. Today I'm wavering on it, but your words brought me back around. Deeply appreciate this!
Looking forward to talking LOA with you tonight!
When Did You First Believe That You Couldn't Be Anything You Wanted To Be?
When I was six years old and jumped off the roof of the toolshed in the back yard...
...and discovered that I could NOT fly like superman.
I was so sad...I had WISHED SO hard.
Relatively speaking (all things being relative), I have never believed this; my parents never imprinted that on me.
However, I grew up with the idea that "choices have consequences" firmly imprinted on my psyche. My parents were very matter-of-fact; I also grew up in one of "those" households where it was perfectly clear from day one that things like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and so on were merely "human constructs" created to make holidays more exciting for kids.
So — to poke at the edges of your question — I have always believed I could be whatever I wanted... AND that everything in life is basically a "transaction" that involves different parts: I can totally choose to be a writer (when I was a kid, I wanted to "tell stories" for a living, when I grew up) and possibly quite a good one! The "terms" for being a writer is a life of creative freedom, a large measure of happiness, and a 95% chance of living most of my life in poverty.
My mother wanted be to be "a professional;" something that would feed her egoic need. Again, choices have consequences: On the plus side, potentially a life of luxury and status; on the minus side, loads of student debt; lots of stress, and unhappiness stemming from working at things I have zero interest in.
For the most part, I have chosen the side of the equation that enabled me to live peacefully and with mostly a high degree of happiness with what I have done: I have been/am a writer, an artist, a creative, an eBay entrepreneur, a patchwork economist of sorts. My happiness factor is high; my stress comes mostly from having to interface with a world that's full of bills to be paid. My wife and I are both 50's and hard-working individuals... odds are we will never retire, so it's a good thing that we love what we do!
Thanks for a thought-provoking article!
When family and people close to you instead of have total faith you can achieve, beg you to see reality that it doesn't go your way all the time. It's when made me think I couldn't achieve anything, then I decided to figure it out on my own and when you do things yourself you find out that you have more power than other people claim you don't.
It's a psychological trick society used to make sure one individual doesn't rise up to their potential because then it would mean that society can no longer reign over individuals like they're sheep.