but you can't hold me to that kind of crazy talk!
Yesterday I told you about Transferring a billion Steem dollars offsite and today it's time to go spend some of that hard-earned crypto for Market Friday created by @dswigle!
So I left my lair high atop the Whale Skeleton Building and headed off to Chinatown with my posse of sexy fembots in tow... Things were about to get weird!
Hold it! Cut, cut, cut...
How is anyone ever going to take me seriously? I'm going to try really, really hard to tell the truth now, ok? Almost to the end of the story, I promise!
I now have a vast fortune in Bitcoin... we're talking 0.0006 BTC which is worth just slightly north of $4 USD. I was wondering if it was possible to spend this in any way at the retail level. Basically, I'm just going to walk around and ask if I can buy stuff with Bitcoin and see how people react. @dswigle "double dog dared me" to do this so there's no choice. I really did do it... back to the story.
I planned to stop at a weed dispensary I know which has a marijuana vending machine. I figured I could ask the old guy who works there about the machine and then bring up Bitcoin. When I got there I discovered the place is now a skateboard shop. Funny thing I thought... same clientele! I didn't go in, I headed to the mall next to see about getting a new phone.
This little kiosk is where I got my current, lame-ass phone. Cameras are SO much better in new phones, I'd really love to have one. I asked the guy about paying in Bitcoin and he laughed. How about my online bill which I now pay with a credit card - couldn't that be paid with Bitcoin? Watch him walk away!
Check it out, here comes target number two!
Dude! I totally sell flavoured oxygen hits and virtual reality rides!
Have a blast of pure cherry-cola flavoured oxygen, get that head rush going, and hop in the chair for a VR trip to Mars baby!
Umm... can you get back to me when the VR trip includes those fembots?
When your product is this, ah... vaporous? abstract? virtual? ...shouldn't you accept virtual internet money? He told me Bitcoin was worth nothing now. Not true I said, you just need a whole bunch more of it!
Things are not working out. Time to put plan B into action. I heard through the grapevine about a guy who accepts Bitcoin on the spot... something about QR codes. I'm supposed to look for "the guy in the hat". Apparently, he can "get you whatever" and I'm on the market for magic beans, you know, like in the story - Jack and the Beanstalk. Me and Bessy leave for the next stop on our little adventure. Did I mention that Bessy is along for the ride?
Off we go to the Hudson Market... it's mostly a food joint. I'm searching the crowd.
I'm moving around in full-on stealth mode, taking photos every second or two. Nobody notices me at all, I'm a photo-Ninja! Bessy follows along behind me.
The guy in the hat didn't want to be photographed from the front. After we met up, our deal went down without a hitch. He was actually very laid back. Gave me his business card which has this code thingy on it. I'm supposed to install an app on my phone and scan the code. Then I can send him the agreed upon 0.0006 BTC ( $4 USD) for the magic beans. He said I could do all that tonight. It was all very decentralized and blockchainy feeling. He handed me the beans...
Now these are the real thing, right? Beanstalk to the clouds, magic castle in the sky, hens laying golden eggs... all that jazz?
Oh yes... see the little sparkles? That isn't frost which is quickly melting because the beans have been out of the freezer for two minutes and you're still searching for a macro lens... No, that's the magic dust, the real stuff! ( the beans felt strangely cold to the touch. )
Unlike me, the guy in the hat does not lie! I grabbed the beans, the card with his QR code, left the cow and split.
Wait, what??? Left the cow?
Yeah, sorry... I thought you knew. I had to leave Bessy the cow just like in the original story. That's always been part of these magic bean deals all down through history and there's no getting around it. It's just the cost of doing business, ya know?
...and that's kind of the moral of my story I guess. Always remember:
Four bucks worth of Bitcoin will only take you so far. You always gotta tip the magic bean guy a cow...
If you missed yesterday's post about how I turned SBD into Bitcoin, go read it here: Transferring a billion Steem dollars offsite
Support your local goofball... Remember to resteem and hit that upvote button hard, 'cause Daddy needs a new cow!
Happy #MarketFriday everyone!
Don't miss the post by @dswigle:
https://steemit.com/marketfriday/@dswigle/market-friday-goes-to-the-commissary
This is absolutely one of the most fabulous tales told here on Market Friday... until your next one, I'm sure.
I hope that you will continue with the sequence of events as you have us all on pins and needles, wondering what the outcome will be. Will you survive? Will we survive? Will you get me some of those magic beans and see if they work well for me.
I am really looking forward to the next installment and honest to God, I have to ask myself... Is this the end of market Friday as I know it?
Absolutely fabulous write!
Upped and Steemed Tip!
Thank you Denise, I'm thrilled you enjoy my silly stories. It's quite impossible to predict where the story will go next. Late last night I was finishing the post for today and had a computer crash, and a draft was not saved on busy.org... the one time I needed it! So in any case, the next chapter took a completely different turn when I rewrote it at 1:00 AM this morning! Much like that 'beanstalk' the storyline is growing out of control. :)
Thanks a lot, Denise, I'm thrilled you like my silly stories. I finished the edition for today late last night, and then somehow it was lost. I think Steemit was having problems. I went back and rewrote it at 1:00 AM and the story went in a completely different direction. I have no idea what's next! :)
Ah Ah!! Keith!
This is so funny.
Forget about taking photos for this Friday Market Challenge, I agree with Trudee, Ms. Boone should film you :))
OMG, @helena-m we've been under lock down for days! Our internet connection keeps going off, and the police are outside surrounding the house!
Helena, listen to me... please get word out if you can... I planted the beans and one of them grew. It's HUGE!!! It's not a beanstalk, I don't know what it is... there are helicopters overhead. I can see them through the skylight window upstairs. One of them is military and the other is this orange med-evac thing that flies in and out of the hospital. Those cops... they don't look anything like Victoria police. I saw cops like that at the G20 riots in Toronto a few years ago. I'm afraid they've hacked my phone and net connection. I don't know how long the connection will sta y o 5678r#####tb)(900
............ksonn999 .
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LOL. Since my vote is worthless, I’ll share your post.
Thanks very much, I appreciate it :)
Hilarious! Entertaining and Daring! Loved your little foray into the markets of dubious exchanges Keith. You can't be too trusting of these so called bean sellers even if they are wearing cool cowboy hats. How could you be really sure you were getting what you paid for because, as you know, there are people out there who have no qualms at all in stretching the truth when convenient? Ones mans beans is another mans bean-shaped, frost covered who knows what????? I wouldn't have allowed those beans to come anywhere near me as they remind me of one of my most hated veggies of all time.......I struggle to even spit out the name (broad beans) because this is what I used to resort to when my mother insisted I eat those thick skinned, tasteless vegetables. They and Brussel sprouts are avoided like the plague now that I am a big girl and can chose what to eat. But I digress.........I have to make a confession. I thought at first that Bessie was your wife......(although I do remember you referring to her by another name entirely in previous conversations,) buy hey, we all have our favourite nick names don't we? My apologies to your wife because I tell myself there is no way you would ever stoop to trading magic beans for the magic 'Mrs.' We have to take your word for it that your 'trip' to the markets ended satisfactorily for all concerned. There is only one thing missing in this blog. I would have doubled the value of your BTC's for a video of you moving around in full on stealth mode. Do me a favour and take Mrs Boone with you next time (instead of Bessie) so that she can capture you capturing your subjects to share with us.......your very trusting steemit friends.
I have to admit, Bessy kind of blew my cover, she was a little hard to hide! In any case, we won't be seeing her anymore!
I find the best way to stay incognito is to carry a little music player around, blasting out the theme song from Mission Impossible. Then I sort of duck and weave and make a very theatrical display of hiding behind pillars and so forth.
I'll have to ask Cathy to make a video next time.
Now I really do have to insist that Cathy go with you next time. I'm sure she has the skills of most women and is able to multi-task. So she can video Mr. Comlumbo .......sorry, I mean Tom Cruise whilst veering you away from those sexy fembots at the same time. (Not good for the concentration and you'd undoubtedly to blow your cover by getting too close to them ) You are a worry at times my friend. (:
Two out of three of the fembots were fake Trudee!
Very clever. I take it the one in the middle was the real deal?
Actually, it's three sequential shots combined in Photoshop. She walked through my shot while I was still trying to focus on the window. I had the camera set to fire a burst of three shots. Once I combined and flattened the three images into one, I ran it through a filter called "Mystery Girl" which added a little glowy mystery for lack of a better word :)
You’re so clever Keith. “Mystery Girl” is a good name for her.
Simply hilarious I must say!
Glad you liked it, thanks.
Nice story my friend! I love your first photo. That architectural design is always welcomed! :)
Thanks! Plus, I got to be my "bat man" character again... same dude as the wealthy unicorn hunter :)
I know, the same funny dude who told me the lady on the beach has a gun in her hand. I have a terrible headache right now but I'll be back, reading your story again when I'm better 😉
Take care, I hope you feel better!
Thank you! 🐇😊
Thank you @pixresteemer!
Oh my goodness! This was so much fun and made me laugh!! Loved it @keithboone!! ❤
Thank you! I keep changing it and adding stuff... it's probably already a different story than when you read it :)
Hi, hehe, I loved your market, it made me laugh a lot
happy Saturday
Happy Saturday to you too! Have a nice day :)
@dswigle wrote lately about: Feel free to follow @dswigle if you like it :)
Hi @keithboone! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @dswigle!I forgot how bad your service is... same as the first time I used it. Thirteen votes total, not 25+ promised as advertised. Send $0.50 and get a vote for $0.03 and a dozen for $0.00. That should be your advertising... I hope someone sees this and learns from my mistake.