Many years ago a wise man told me not to have expectations of other people. It was a hard concept for me to grasp. His point was that I can't expect a person to behave a certain way because of what I put into the relationship. I can choose whether or not I want to spend time with them based on their behavior, but I can't expect them to act the way I want. I try to focus on my part and what I put into a relationship as that's what I can control.
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Isn't the basis of most interaction and communication based on this simple concept: message, receiver, feedback, action? Something like that. As in most of our interactions are based on a message we send, the message they receive, the feedback we gain, then the actions we take. So maybe I do have expectations based on the feedback I receive. At a certain point though it because more of habit and less and less of an artistic delicate process. Communication is suppose to be beautiful, seperating us from other species, from those before us. It sadly, has become the weapon we use against one another.
Thank you for the steem, that was very kind and not necessary. I appreciated you provoking the thought.
It's somewhat of a sematic argument - but I think and important one. You can have STANDARDS for what feedback you will ACCEPT for yourself. You have all the control about what you will allow yourself to be around, toxicity or healthy positive feedback. That is different than giving something and EXPECTING a result from someone else because of your actions - that leads to disappoint as people will often not behave how we expect. If we don't expect a particular response, we can then be more open to questioning and trying to understand the response we do get - of course that's in a healthy situation. If it's unhealthy and your partner is not willing to work for change (or you aren't) one party cannot mend a relationship.
i dont invest in steem, not allowed to invest in cryptocurrency so i am more here for the community amd enjoy giving away the steem. i see its value and i like the platform so i kinda earn enough to get by so to speak. is there a way to turn unhealthy into healthy? or is that just doomed. maybe that is what i need to take a look at, is this healthy?
I always simplify to 'what can I control?' For example, if you're saying that you're constantly speaking to each other in a nasty way, just pick a day and stop. There is no excuse to behave poorly, even if the other person does - and you are in charge of your own behavior. Be the good, kind, person you want to be and then over time you'll see if your partner wants to come along, if the relationship enriches your life.
Key is focus on your part, what you can control - and be the person you were born to be.
womderful. i am going to give this a go. yay!
Best wishes