my mom took amazing care of him through all of those ups and downs
This is a rare gift she gave him. To me she sounds heroic.
The portrait of your father is so very human. He wasn't perfect, but it seems his demons tortured him, and he tried to protect the family from the worst of it.
I think you had fantastic parents. Lucky :)
She was heroic in many ways but gave up a whole lot in the process. In the end it all worked out. Since my dad passed in 2020 she's made friends and is figuring out who she is. It's been fun to watch her grow in those ways.
You're exactly right about my dad. When he would leave and be gone that's when the demons were at their worst. I think he realized he didn't have full control and didn't want to subject us to it.
I was blessed with two great parents. They were human and had their flaws but we all do. Luckily we found ways to grow and to evolve and not carry on the cycle of dysfunction.