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RE: Memoir Monday #27 (9/9-9/15) - What is your best relationship advice?

in #memoirmonday3 months ago

Those are some good ones. The part about communication is very important. I think the most arguments my wife and I have these days are because one of us assumes the other knows what we are thinking or planning. While that may hold true for some things, even after 15 years it isn't a given. It's always a good idea to put things in words just to be sure you are on the same page. I still struggle at it sometimes. I think my two biggest things would be take your time and don't settle. What you want at 18 is probably quite different than what you want in your late 20's and you need to give yourself room to grow into that. I also think many times we settle for what is available without realizing the world has so much more to offer us.

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Thanks! Communication is everything. That's taken me years of work. I think I've made considerable progress on it in these past few decades but I still have more work to do.

I think my two biggest things would be take your time and don't settle.

100% yes that statement! I think sometimes people seek out relationships mainly because they don't want to be or are afraid of being alone. I think everyone should have a period in their lives where they get comfortable alone, with their own company. I had almost three solid years of single life in my early twenties and, looking back, it was very valuable.

I had two longer term relationships that didn't work out and I feel like it was so much wasted time because I settled and I shouldn't have. As you said, that time would have been much better spent alone although I do have some good memories and experiences from those years. It ultimately made me a better person, but looking back I can see a bit of the futility in it all.

Yeah, I think we're all guilty of seeing people and situations as we wish them to be instead of how they really are. I certainly did my fair share of that.