I'm so sorry to hear about your pain @lanceman. My grandmother died when she was only 50 and she constantly told me that she doesn't want to live longer, she got what she wanted. I never understood as a kid why she didn't want to be alive because the world seemed like a good place when you're young, when you grow up though things turn to grey. It's hard staying optimistic in a place like that, especially when you're all alone. I am blessed to have amazing friends even if its just a few people I can count on my hand, as well as a loving partner, If I didn't have that I wouldn't be here right now as I am too weak of a person to do it all on my own. I hate the idea of being connected to other people , I was always the loner , the "strong" , lone wolf, but I realize now that its that way of thinking that messed me up. You don't need to be looking for these people, they somehow just find their way in when you need them the most...and stay there for good :)
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