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We have all had instances of our life when we regret trusting someone. When your trust is betrayed, it is hard to trust someone again, and that jeopardizes most of our relationships.
When your trust is repeatedly broken, your mind develops a defense mechanism which prevents the people you meet from ever having the chance to betray your trust.
Your mind will create a pre-emptive routine that involve keeping a discernible distance with other people, both physically and emotionally.
How can we mend our broken heart and learn how to trust again?
Psychologists unanimously agree that if someone is not capable of trusting other people, the roots of this skepticism can be traced back to even their childhood.
Most people who can’t trust others have usually been betrayed of felt abandoned from an early age.
This mistrust has found deep roots in their subconscious, thus making it difficult to connect to other people on an intimate level and learn how to trust them.
A lot of people find it difficult to allow other people to enter their lives. Their emotional comfort zone compels them to push people out or run away from them.
Someone might even go so far as to betray his own feelings and the other person before they have a chance to betray him.
As hard as it might sound, if we are struggling with mistrust, we need to erase our past and look hopefully into the future.
You should be wary when you are dealing with new people, but that doesn’t mean you have to live in a bubble and never trust them enough to open up to them and share the things that bother you.
When someone betrays you, it is not strange to reflect on your beliefs about honesty and conscience. But you need to remember that not all people are like the one you have had the misfortune to deal with.
Remember that there are a lot of good people out there, such as yourself, who would never betray someone’ trust and break word with them.
You also need to tell yourself that trust is not absolute. When you get to meet someone for the first time in your life, you can hardly trust them. It is not your fault.
Trust needs time and dedication. There are many levels to trust, and it should not be as absolute as suggesting that you can either trust someone or always be wary of him altogether.
You might really like someone and know that deep down they are a good person, but you cannot also bring yourself to fully trust them, because you know that they have the potential to one day betray your trust.
You decide to trust people like that, but to an extent, and will always be cautious when dealing with them.
If you are not sure about whether you can trust someone or not, look at the pattern of their behavior.
That will tell you all you need to know about who he is and how he would react under certain situations. The subtle art of being observant can be useful here, as you need to monitor that person constantly for at least a short period of time.
Always listen to your own voice of reason. Sometimes we are tempted to trust people and give them a chance when they don’t really deserve it.
If you know someone who is always talking behind other people’s backs, you can be sure that he will do the same to you.
Last but not least, remember that if you are feeling betrayed, you need some time to heal.
Do not expect yourself to be able to immediately trust someone else.
Deciding not to trust people ever again is not a rational choice.
You need to learn how to look past their mistakes and take experience and wisdom from your own.
If someone has betrayed your trust recently, you will need time to heal.
Do not be concerned over this, for time is the greatest healer of all, and eventually, you will find yourself capable of trust again.
Until then, decide that your misfortune in trust is not going to undermine your belief about being positive and trusting.
A BIG HUG!
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Important Note!
I have been working very hard on this blog since the beginning. I have a very busy life but I am giving my best and believe me I have shared experiences that I have been coaching thousands of people and I know that the change of the Mindset should be daily. I am already grateful to see you giving upvotes to each other and you can see this with the fact that many already have 8, 9, 10 upvotes. But I'm sure that with the effort of all of us we will see a community with, 40, 50 upvotes and for that everyone should get engaged so we can make it come true. I believe and we can! Resteem...
***Remember Community: Please, if you commented and upvote on a new post I did, please always go back to the previous one because if someone in the community commented lastly because of time zone differences it will be without your upvote and that would not be fair.
You all know the goal! We can reach: 50+ Upvotes each others!
Attention!!!
I'm reading all the meaningful comments from the posts.
I am here making a list of all of you who have helped build this community by voting for each other who write meaningful comments and soon I will respond to everyone with comment and thank you all because I can already see this spirit being built in this Positive Mindset community and help between all of you.
You will receive my upvote in all material and brief comments I will do this in all the posts I am following very closely and I can see what the people who are generous and contribute to this legacy that I am trying to build with all of you can become reality in a short time.
AND
First of all, I would like to thank all of you, who are the most active and proactive in this community, showing your generosity and always with meaningful comments. From now on I will always make a list of these incredible people who have helped to expand our goal of growing ever more.
But I ask that if you are new around here you read many of the previous posts because they make it clear that we are building a community with respect among all, generosity and this blog is for those who really want to start moving their Mindset to positive and moreover be part of the growth of all of us who contribute to this blog. Please do not ask to include you in the list if you are just wanting upvotes because we want here people genuinely attuned to growth and good attitudes and as I have always said with Respect as the basis of all, generosity and positivity!
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It's a hard feeling when you don't have anyone to confide on because you trust no one. You become isolated and prisoner of your own dealings with others with mistrust.
Truly we should try to know the past of others why the act like one, maybe they just reflect what have done to them because they were just a victim of dishonesty.
It's a great thing then to know how to read and understand one's personality to know what things to expect from them and how to compliment them.
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Read books like Awaken the giant within for learn how to take immediate control of your mental emotional, physical & financial destiny
Thanks for the info and suggestion.
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Betrayal of trust could be very sickening and damaging at times, so I tend not to blame people that find it difficult to trust again. Because, they really need their heart and mind to heal from the betrayal.
All the same, the chances and ability to trust again is still there irrespective of whatever experiences may have erupted in the past. It's just a matter of breaking the walls we set in our hearts and be open and free again.
Trust is only earned. So I believe that if we want someone to trust us, we gotta earn it, you cannot force one to trust you.
Thank you!
How do join the community @chbartist
Hi, if you want I can include you in list! But pay attention in important notes describe in the post.
I'll ensure that
Good night
Para ganarse la confianza de una persona, suele pasar mucho tiempo, pero, para perdertla, es cuestion de un segundo. Una persona traicionada, es muy dificil que olvide lo sucedido, tal vez perdonara, pero, no olvidara.
There are people who often give a lot of confidence to others, without even being careful if it is worth trusting so much, and there are others who do not trust anybody, these people are generally isolated, since by not trusting anyone they do not allow. that your feelings come out
In life you have to have a balance, be cautious, cautious, but without reaching the extremes of locking ourselves in ourselves and not trusting anyone
regards
Great post, eventually you will have to rely or trust someone in some capacity, the best way in my opinion is to accept the reality but also accept the potential consequences, thus if you end up hurt you at least have prepared yourself. It is probably not a sustainable thing to do but at least it is a starting block.
Saludos @chbartist! En función a tu publicación, la confianza es necesaria para crecer, también para evolucionar, así como para desarrollarnos. Se necesita confianza en nosotros mismos y en las personas que nos rodean.
En estos tiempos en el que vivimos, con tantos cambios en nuestras rutinas, y de los cuales derivan tantas incertidumbres, la confianza es fundamental para el desarrollo de nuestras actividades. Para seguir adelante debemos tener pensamientos positivos, y la confianza se basa en esa premisa. Tener confianza es depositar "Fe" en algo o en alguien. Feliz día.I would say that the solution to re-trusting people is not about erasing the past but learning to put the past in a corner where we do not interfere with personal growth. There is already a saying that says: Whoever forgets his history is condemned to repeat it.
We could also include the willingness to forgive the person who hurt us, forgiveness is necessary but only for us, to free ourselves from the burden of feeling resentment towards that person and not get sick in the long term. It is not necessary to run after that person to hug him and tell him that he has already been forgiven.
And all this is not achieved overnight, but we must do our part so that this can happen.
Many relationships, whatever the case (love, work, friendship, etc.) end up breaking, when you feel, one of the betrayed parties and a betrayed person, they rarely forget.
People, usually try to forgive, but always have the thorn in what happened, a person usually forgives once, but when they give a second chance, and that opportunity is also betrayed, they simply break with the relationship they have.
People should be cautious and, with caution, observe the attitudes of others and, depending on the analysis they make, see if they can really trust someone.
@chbartist sir
In whose mind deceit is not deceptive, his mind is completely clean like a mirror.
The man who has treachery in his mind can never talk to him by looking at the eye. The person who smells from the front and the evil person behind the back can never be trusted. Identifying a trustworthy person and identifying a treacherous person is a very difficult task. Yes, by their activities, it becomes an impression that the belief is worthy or not. We learn to identify individuals with our mistakes and experiences. The calamities coming upon us are the best way to identify such people because during that time only your well wishers will accompany you, whereas the silly person will betray the side.
Yes, in some cases we have to believe blindly even though we do not have to cheat because we do not have any choice.
It is too difficul to trust on people if we have betrayed earlier. But we have to be positive because there is so many good people in this world so we have to move on . Time is a great healers it is capable to heal us. So we have learn how to trust on people so we can grow and become successful with the help of each other.
Healing is an important part of the process and combines with previous thoughts here about living and learning. Learning from experiences is our best way to adapt and change with new information as we move forward in our journeys on life, no matter what they are.
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It is difficult choose everyones is not loyal and honest but I understand isn't impossible trust is give and take subject with experience. thanks sir trust yourself and your god all is well.
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The wonderful line among the article I loved is
Time heals everything.
Yes if someone betrays you, then all you need is time to over come.
You have two options
A particular species of earthworm shows the behavior, if it gets cheated on the way it travels, then it would never take the path for life time.
Choose your actions wisely
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Yes Yes the word is absolutely right. It is important that we trust, whom do we believe and who is the person who is worthy of our trust. What sometimes happens is that we trust the person who speaks to us by smiling, help our unnecessary. So we become very happy and believe in them. That which is not right in my opinion, must be trusted only by knowing the right way about it.
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If you believe someone that is your responsibility trust him.
If you trust someone you believe that they are honest and he will not deliberately do anything to harm you.
Faith + security = trust and Confidence.
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Outstanding work again @chbartist
Perhaps I should start meditating on your words and my Kung Fu will be even stronger.
"Most people who can’t trust others have usually been betrayed of felt abandoned from an early age. This mistrust has found deep roots in their subconscious, thus making it difficult to connect to other people on an intimate level and learn how to trust them ..... As hard as it might sound, if we are struggling with mistrust, we need to erase our past and look hopefully into the future."
Should you find the time, would you please expand on how to erase our past. Thanks
I think that sometimes, when you start thinking in untrust when meet someone new, you probably will find some detail to untrust .
I never said nobody could understand me. In fact, I am pretty sure most people out there could definitely understand me, like an open book. I feel like every time I open my mouth or simply walk past someone that person can already say that I'm lonely, that I'm bitter, that I'm cold and that it's probably for the best to stay away from me.
It's me who can't understand others, no matter how hard I try. No wonder why I avoid interacting with others if someone talking to me already sets my blood boiling and increases my heartbeat ten times. I feel like they might throw a punch at me at any moment so I instinctively cower and start policing my every thought before I say it outloud. Then that other person can see I am visibly disturbed and so they back away. And it's like this every time.
I guess the ultimate trust is perpetual. We're human beings created with stains. We make mistakes on a daily basis with consciousness and unconsciousness.
When you say to your partner, "I trust you." Your partner would respond, "How long?"
A real and sincere trust is trusting no matter what, whether the one I trust is no longer trusting me, I still trust her/him.
Hello @chbartist Thanks for this post ,I totally agree with you no matter how badly we have been treated time will always be the best healer, we must learn to forgive everyone we are wrong and we deserve a second chance
Let's keep growing together
People are just sometimes lucky and sometimes not.
Can i get in to that list sir? (Actually i can't understand what is that but it looks like hall of fames) =)
No, the list is for peoples that help building this blog with Positive Mindset. I recommend that you read again The important notes describe in the post and Many posts after that to understand the story that how we are building this community in this blog. If you can contribute with positive comments I can include you and list to be receive notification every time that I post. You are Welcome! regards
Really in these times it is difficult to trust because there are many people who take advantage of one's feelings and good faith, however we can not judge everyone equally, there are still many kind people, therefore, as you explain In this publication, we must be vigilant before giving our full confidence to others, but without judging everyone equally ... With time we will really know who is in front of us.
I have always trusted people in my life and I had moments when those I trusted betrayed the trust but that has not stopped me from trusting people because you must trust people whether you like it or not!
Growing up I trust people easily. I never had a cause not to. So it was just a part of me that was there, Until I got to the university. It felt like a new world. I met different kinds of people, a lot that broke my trust.
And when I decided to stop trusting people, I couldn't. It was like I have so much faith in trusting people and what the bad eggs did to me wasn't enough for me to just stop trusting.
I was glad I didn't stop trusting people. Now, I am surrounded with awesome people even after college.
Excellent review, my friend and our trust is unfortunately a very fragile thing and after we were deceived or betrayed it is very difficult to immediately show confidence even to close people. You are right to begin to trust, time and effort are needed, but it is necessary to strive for this! Thank you @chbartist
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Beautiful photos. thanks for sharing this post.i like it this post.. thanks
Great post 👍 thanks for sharing this post.i like it this post.i appreciate your valuable post..
Useful, thanks for posting!
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I absolutely loved the post. Keep more streaming in.
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STOPLa confianza es algo que uno debe de proteger como el mas preciado tesoro, te habre puertas, pero asi también te las puede cerrar sino sabes cuidarla.
Para que la confianza se afirme más es importante la comunicación entre las personas que establecen relación. Saludos @chbartist
They say , trust is like glass . Broken glass will never become like new as after you broke them .
Never broke other people trust on you. It will never be the same like first trust .
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@llfarms hahahaha. sry, had to. :D
woooow, amazing!
Hello, first of all, thank you for this interesting reading. With regard to the subject, I think that having so many disappointments in our lives we can develop that commenting "mechanism of defense", however, should bear in mind that we should not judge everyone equally, we should seek support in our family, if it becomes In a serious problem already serious question of seeking professional help. But it is best to cling to our loved ones, and not let that person who harmed us, cause an imbalance in the relationships we may have later. Not all of us think alike and it is not fair that we are judged by actions of others. Similarly, trust is not something that develops in the first instance, but first of all we have to help ourselves to meet other people and that does not affect the behavior we can have in the social field.
La confianza es algo que se construye en meses pero se rompe en 1 segundo...
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Life, living matter and, as such, matter that shows certain attributes that include responsiveness, growth, metabolism, energy transformation, and reproduction.
It is true that if someone's trust is broken, it is hard for that person to trust him again and also this effect other person's feeling so badly that he does not trust anybody so quickly. But time is a great healer so we should think positive. as we can see "Even all fingers of hand are not equal"
@chbartist i want to be a part of this community please add me in the list, thank you.
good I like it
One of my most fave Bible verses; and one which I use often; especially when people dare ask: Don’t you trust me? for which I hold the straight face for as long as possible; before internally bursting into one of those Ally McBeal zone outs...Bwahahahahahahaha!!!...No.
To avoid a blatant outright and emphatic noooooooo….I simply cite …Trust no man (Micah 7:5-15).
This truth has never failed me. That’s not to say that a human being has never failed me; but, it is to say that when they do, I am able to process any ‘blame’ onto myself for ‘forgetting’ this powerful verse.
Best regards.
Peace.
Trust issues is a common problem with many people who have been let down by others. Myself included I was betrayed by people I trusted in the past and it certainly made me more on my guard, but it is human nature to trust people, confide in others, share with others etc. I think it’s very sad when one or few betrayals affect someone’s attitude towards others in their future. I feel it’s important to trust others and if we have had some bad experiences we need to spend time with trustworthy people to repair the damage done and thereby our trust for others will rebuild. It may be hard to trust those people who let us down, but trusting dependable people will go a long way to heal the deep damage that was done. Most people I believe are trustworthy and genuine and if you just let your guard down enough to let in some good people, your faith in humanity will be restored. Love & Kindness goes a long way to heal 🙏
(Still making my way through your amazing list and finding new people to follow, love this list)
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There is no one you can trust. So I was thinking, but 3 years ago I met someone who taught me how I trusted him and did not regret it.
Feeling great when you feel from your depths that you are not alone