My Coping Mechanism as a First time Mom and a Wife

in #motherhood3 years ago

Flexibility is life and rigidity is death.

My life as a single young lady is nothing compared to my current life as a mother and a wife. Among the number of things I let out the window is the 'I' consciousness. By this I mean, putting myself first and making things all about me.

This naturally happened because marriage and motherhood compelled me to put the interest of my baby and husband ahead of mine. I'm not sure if this will ever change but for now, this is my life.woman-690034_1920.jpgsource

Forgiveness. The place of forgiveness can not be over emphasized in the family. This means choosing harmony over being right. Harmony in the family is a sacred thing. And this is not a mom or dad duty. It is achieved through collective effort however when my partner seem to have forgotten this and his pride has a better part of him at that moment, I act in full consciousness of this simply fact that the two of us can't be in a shitty state of mind at the same time.

When you desire love, realise that you need to give it first. Such is the nature of love. I have found this to be true and giving love might not necessarily mean serving the people around you. It also mean extending it to your pet or even the flowers in your garden. Just give the kind of love you want to get. If I wanted a smile, I give it first. A simple act of taking my dog for a walk brings this feeling of great emotional release that I need at that point in time.

Addressing issues with love and respect. Love and respect for each other should never be lost in a home. The moment this is forgotten, that relationship might me heading for the lagoon. Words get to me a lot especially when its from my partner. Having an unresolved issue with my partner will always have a negative effect on my health and general well being. So this days I'll rather talk and trash things out with him when I'm more settled than bottle it all up for days.

Issues crop up in marriage and the earlier it is discussed and resolved the better for everyone. These I have come to understand in my 2years of marriage.

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Wow. Uhm... This was indeed helpful.

Hi @deraaa, thank you for always coming back to read my post. I'm glad you found this one useful.

Wise words sister. Yet also remember to give your-self love.

Now there is the illusory self, the little i / person / ego / body, which is in truth more like an actor in a movie or a character in a dream. And there is the One True Self, which is sort of dreaming you, and me, and all things. So when we give love, it's important to include, even put at the fore-front, the little i. if we don't give love to ourself (this dream character we tend to think is i), then we don't have enough love to share with all other beings.

So, when we give ourselves enough love, by gifting ourselves the time for stillness in meditation, then we are able to move into Theta consciousness and tap into the unlimited supply of unconditional love and have plenty to share with all the other actors in this play of life. And at the same time we are giving love to our One True Self. Double Bubble! :-) Wahe Guru!

With love
Atma

No truer words! You can't give what you don't have. Noted!

Thanks for dropping by.