Read most of your post... it's interesting and I felt related as I also have a dark side and find it hard to leave home (but I do)... Still, the internet is my home and I met great people on steemit. (some were/are members of MSP)... I don't speak a lot in P.A.L discord so I don't think I spoke with you.
But I'm a member of Writer's Block (just a member though)... who were based on MSP but got their own Discord when they we became big enough.
I won't say don't be sad, when you're sad.... Sadness is part of life and you better let it take it's time. But don't be suicidal!! One day you'll be happy for everything even your most sad times.... you won't feel that way if you died.