You have been holding strong in front of us (most likely crying a lot alone).
Actually, I did not cry for a long while, I didn't want to. Lately, it was like ... tears, I wipe them away and it's all, keep moving. But now I weep violently, cannot stop it, in public transport or at doctor's appointment, and I don't feel better. That doesn't sounds like me and upsets me so much 😖
Give yourself a break, don't be so hard on yourself.
!luv
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