It's that easy.
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Tell A Joke, Get A Vote!!!
5 years ago in #nextgendistribution by berniesanders (77)
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What do you give an armless child for Christmas?
Nothing, he wouldn’t be able to open it anyways.
Dark humour at it's finest.
Ok not finest, it was a shit joke
A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out and was granted 1 wish
“I wish I had a matte black yacht, a matte black private jet, a fleet of matte black cars, bikes, speedboats, seadoos etc” the man said.
The genie replied “that is beyond my power, choose another wish”
So the man said
“Ok so I wish for the steemit team to make steem great again”
And the genie replied.
“You said matte black everything right?”
What does an Astrologer and a proctologist have in common?
An interest in Uranus.
hope not frog anus
People are not here for the rewards. xD
you are the winner ! lmfao :)
Steemit Inc
that why they call it "STINC"
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.But she figured out I was only after my money!
(Rofl)
Namaste
Posted using Partiko iOS
Q. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
A. Same time next month?
Lol :-)
Cg
Good content on Steem.
Markymark always comments on these posts and he is with SFR so it looks like it's ok , I don't think you will get flagged
An engineer dies
When he gets to the Pearly gates, he’s told he’s going to hell.
As a typical engineer, he politely asks to have God notified that there’s been a mistake.
A couple months go by before God gets to the request to investigate. So he calls down to the Devil to investigate.
God: I hear you received an engineer down there.
Devil : Yup, it’s been great. After many millenia, the HVAC is finally working, the leak in the hot tub has been fixed ...
God: Well, it turns out there was a mistake. Please send him to heaven
Devil: Are you kidding!?!? There’s no way I’m going to let him go. Pretty soon, Hell’s going to become a paradise!!!
God: Listen, If you don’t send him hear, I’ll have to take you to court.
Devil: {Non-Stop Laughter}
God : I am serious, this is not a joke.
Devil: Tell me, Where are you going to find a lawyer?
That was a lot funnier it was building up to be! Very good! :-)
Cg
Why do the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
for sum reason I laugh at this one
You had a chicken that has got to the other side? ;)
I only have tadpoles
I am your Father...
Can he be turned to the dark side?
If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!". The other cow replies "Good thing I'm a helicopter".
Rofl!!
Cg
Trump
Beginning of the decade:
Image source
End of the decade:
Image source
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprise.
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You are like superman
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How to make a Blondie be entertained for hours?
Write "read the other side" on both sides of a paper...
(You never said it should be a good joke...)
Did you hear the joke about the Steemit Trending Page?
That's actually the joke and punchline :)
There were 3 guys: a Drunk, a Rabbai and a Priest .. blah blah blah .. it was the Priest with the Candlestick in the Parlor! 😜
A chicken with yellow yolk, same to whaleshares.io
You are obsessed with food!
Why do rednecks like to make love to goats on the edge of a cliff? Because the goats push back...
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up."
it cracked me up too
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
Because they peel.
I will burn all my obtained rewards on this comment, or not
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Ellie Powell
Doctor speaking to nurse; Did you take that patient's temperature?
Nurse replies; Me sir, no sir, I'm as honest as the day is long sir.
Can you please hold my hand?"A mother asks her son: "Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?"
Son: "My name is Paul."
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".
The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."
What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?
I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.
a shark that poop a lot and makes greenhouses gases ha ha
This could easily be Sharknado 6
My life.
Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.
But I laugh more.
I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish.
Politics is the ultimate joke.
Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?
"2020 will be the year for STEEM"
I love you ❤️
Knock knock
I was really trying to find a good one that could make you laugh, but didn't find any. They were all too bad.
Year: 2029
Location: Maldives
Policeman: You are being arrested for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia content.
Thief: Wait! I can explain everything!
Standing ovation...
What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
The mosquito can fly, but the fly can't mosquito!!!!
A joke?
Bernie
?
xD
The biggest joke ever?
When you check trending page on threespeak and 43 second video without cam gets 40$ upvotes, but no one complain xD