Reading your story makes anyone reflect, as a son I can say that I will never want my mother to die, I do not know what it is like to lose her, but I am sure, and I share with you that feeling of loss.
For us as sons, we always think and want our mothers to be immortal, but unfortunately life is not like that.
I am sure that death plus all the bureaucracy are so similar in terms of making us feel bad, of course, death is worse, because at one moment there is the one you love and at the other moment she is not, it is terrible, very terrible.
I understand when you say that you don't want to tell your bosses or your clients, many times people don't know how to be prudent, and it is there with imprudence when they stir up all our feelings of loss.
I hope that after writing everything you wrote and reading some words of encouragement, you feel much better mentally in the midst of that loss.
Thank you for your kind words.
I feel that I've talked about my moms death too much with people, and since there's nothing that can change the situation, my mind is at the same time ready to move on but then again stuck with the same things. So I'm fed up talking about this but at the same time I end up talking about it.
So I guess the writing did help. I didn't need to talk about it but now I'm hoping I could move on or at least I don't have to avoid talking about it so that in some side sentence the death just happens to accidentally come up.
But it's one day at a time.
Thank you for commenting. :)