Relationships which are all about human connections, touch and emotions, somewhere is losing it's essence. More and more people are getting into these online relationships, without knowing the opposite person enough and then building such strong emotions over it that when it breaks it just leaves one in complete emptiness. This is what the machine world is doing to us.
I don't know what's happening to today's generation. Why more and more people are drifting away from real connections and getting onto these online relationships.
Most of these online relationships somewhere builds up in the pursuit of filling up some empty spaces of life and time.
In the beginning everything looks fine, there is some level of fulfillment of one's desires, wants, feeling of being loved and opportunity of expression, but as the relation starts building up it somewhere starts getting monotonous and also becomes a kind of an addiction. Yes that's the right word, more then anything it becomes a sort of addiction to fill up that empty space and time. People forget that after all the virtual relationship is not really showing you the real person.
You see what the opposite person wants you to see, but at the same time how long can one be superficial, somewhere or the other the real character of the person will reflect.
Specially in these times of distress, where loneliness is hitting people, these connections happen much faster. For both the sides it is a good feeling, but you really do not know the exact intention of each other. Some may just want to fill up their empty time, some may also want to use it for sex chats, and for some it is an emotional fall back, and there can be other reasons, but is it really expressed, then the answer is NO.
No one really sets out their intentions clearly to the opposite person. After some time when the relationship starts growing it also brings in its own complications of distance and time and that is where the real self starts coming up.
When the reality starts hitting, one starts feeling the discomfort. If the emotional involvement is too strong it becomes all the more difficult to withdraw. You start questioning. Was anything ever real? You cannot really say if it was real or faked up.
Sometimes you want to finish it and end it but you are not able to. Because the emptiness scares you. One does not know then how to make use of that empty time, specially when living alone, and like any other addiction you want to keep going back to it again and again, even though if the relationship has become dirty.
I have had couple of people coming to me with these issues and their major reason of not letting it end is the fear of being lonely again. They want to get a healing done, but they are not willing to let go. I try to make them understand that unless the mind does not allow it to Let Go how will any healing help.
When one is engaged in meaningful things in life, then they may not find any needs of these fill in the blanks with these unreal connections.
Loneliness and emptiness in life can really kill a person. Loneliness does not mean just living alone. You may live alone and still live very healthy with no such need of unwanted baggage's and on the other side of it, you may be living with 10 people around and you may still feel lonely.
For me these online relations are not at all healthy, they are very superficial and need based. Unless they materialize somewhere in real connections, real meetings, it makes a difference. And one should always keep their boundaries intact in every way when making these online relationships. It is very easy to get carried away, so all the more one needs to be mindful and observant of the opposite person behavior.
Today I am feeling sad because one of my very dear friend is stuck up in this chaos. I can see her so much in an emotional turmoil. I have been warning her to withdraw from this since a long time, but she was just not able to. Now that she has decided to completely end it, she is finding so very difficult to control her emotions and feels so much pained. She does not know how to fill up this empty space.
Life is getting simpler with technology or complicated with it, all depends on us. We need to use Technology for progress and not for bringing ourselves in any way.
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That's exactly what your friend need to understand. Probably she should engage in something else to keep her occupied and help forget.
Yes, she was with me for a couple of days and now she is in a much better state :-)
She is in safe hands now 😀
Hahaha......
Online dating can be a good starting point in finding somebody you would then potentially date and court and see and talk to and meet with in person, in real life (IRL), and it is better to really bind together around a common goal, grounded on eternal principles, committed forever.
That's exactly, but people fall for long distance relationships also where there is no scope to meet and then they get into a mess over a period of time. Real meetings are essential for the bond to develop in it's true sense.
Long-distance relationships can be very similar in some ways with online relationships, it depends but the similarities are there depending on the details. Yes and people should have neighborhood security meetings as well for their Walking Dead Communities.
I feel sad for younger generation because some parents are unaware about current trends and their negative consequences to discuss in detail about such matters while their teenagers are too inexperience to differentiate fake from genuine relationships.
Very rightly said, it's the parents who need to also handhold the children adequately, but as you say the older parents are not even aware of the new technologies so they kind of can never apprehend, and the other thing is when children cross a certain age then it becomes difficult also to tell them anything. As it is these days even a parent shouting at a child becomes a crime.
Since my youth a handful of my relationships online is still active and sure more healthy in my lifetime than damaging me. But i see your point too. I think humanity still learn to balance their doing between offline and online time. Give us time, it will regulate itself. ;-)
Salve
Alucian
It's also about drawing your boundaries in online relationships. When you fail to do that and fall victim to the opposite side it is very dangerous. It's too difficult to judge a person online, so it's a risk that one is taking, in that you may have some good eggs and some rotten ones too :-)
Its is true, but on the other side not for me.^^
Sure, some parts of interaction ([micro]Mimic, Gesticulate, Voice, feeling the aura etc.pp) between humans will be missed online. But let give me a little example, why it is online, like offline, or Contact is Contact in different ways always contact:
My Grandfather meet my Grandmother 3 times in the first year. The most time, they wrote letters....then they married. Don´t forget, with three times of real contact. That is not a lot to go Marriaged. But the letters, make a relationship, who stay for a lifetime.
Here, it is the self with a relationship in the internet. Yes, it needs way more time to learn about the other, but you got also positive way´s to learn more than offline, about a person you meet online. The time is not just bad who is been needed. It gives room for Reflexion about the Interaktion. ;-)
Just the time is the question.
In the end of the game, you will never know a person.
Started with yourself. ;-)
I wish you a healthy time. :-)
Salve
Sascha
Many people do not know how to connect with their true emotions and that is where I agree with you, loneliness and emptiness can destroy a person and even distort reality. I am this kind of person who likes to feel emotions but I also like to touch something that I can really feel. Part of the true bases for a real relationship is about direct physical contact. I believe that you can meet someone online and then turn them into something real, I mean really meet them in real life and set goals in real life but if people always keep them online, I don't think it's very healthy, it tends to be overwhelming, painful and possibly fake, I will not say that they are all cases but the vast majority yes
Connection is a heart beat for humanity. Yes, set goals in life with those you care about in real life, offline, that is a fundamental building life. Yeah, it tends to be more fake, gradually and then it begins to accelerate into delusion down off a cliff to destruction.
True the real touch gives it the whole meaning, but sadly we are so rapidly getting into the virtual world that we are failing to identify what needs personal touch and what does not and in the bargain fall prey for some fraudsters.
The most beautiful thing about human beings is being able to look into each other's eyes. Virtual love relationships seem false and misleading.
Yes, the real feeling comes when you hold the hand of the person and look into each others eyes. Thank you for sharing your thoughts
I think the best way is to go outside, do what you love and then naturally meet the people who are like minded, and then these relationships are true
Absolutely. The virtual world is fake, a holographic reality
Very few from those who swipe on dating apps are actually thinking about a serious relationship, marriage or a family. Mostly they use the apps to soothe their ego and feel that they are still desirable with a cost: hurting others. One can avoid to get hurt by staying away from this kind of apps. And if by any chance someone would really be serious and find what they want, they would cancel any online presence in the dating arena. Most of them don't. They keep dating profiles active while holding hands. Odd, but this is what people perceive as love now. I agree with making your life be complete outside of the virtual space. Serious people who know what love is about would not risk losing it when meeting it. I wish your friend a lot of healing, she will need it. Online dating feels like a walk in the cemetary lane where lost souls search for love in the closet of past relationship trauma. I would never try such apps again they only bring shallow people in someone's life. I agree there might be chances for gems to be there, but the exceptions are few. Most of the relationships end in turmoil, just like the one of your friend. Best wishes and hopefully she will find a man worthy of her love!
Sadly, that is a common theme build around ego like you said, online dating would be like watching a campfire via a YouTube video and then saying, "Oh, I went camping." In other words, you can meet people on the Internet but people should consider meeting each other in real life after that and date if they're serious, if they're interested in taking a risk at love. Online dating can be like navigating through a forest while blind because the world wide web has been lacking all of the five or six senses of sight, hearing, smelling, taste, touch, pain, feelings, and spiritual connection. Yeah, online dating can be like a cemetery with the possibility of becoming a zombie yourself. The Internet can sometimes be like a dream. I like to dream but I tend to prefer real life over sleeping and dreaming at night.
Yes Joey, it's precisely like that. I think that the faster you get to meet them in real life, the better. People behave differently online vs real life. It's never good to sit on long online interactions because you end up projecting and creating a halo around the person which might be far from the truth. I strongly believe that those who search for a serious commitment would not lose time in the online, they would rather observe the person in their real life.
Even though the quest for love has turned into a shallow chase for likes for some people I still believe in it as a concept.
It can be easier to develop a deceptive persona online than it has been in some ways offline which performers can struggle with a double life even in real life. But the Internet adds to the difficulty.
Internet Drug
The Internet can be for most people most of the time like a drug. Online dating would be like ordering a metal detector online. But imagine it stays in the shopping cart. Imagine it is never bought. Imagine that it is never delivered.
Never Using the Metal Detector
Imagine never ever using the metal detector in order to find metal, gold, silver, etc.
Wall-E Impostor
The Internet is kind of like the fat people in WALL-E or the people inside the Matrix. They may like it but they may be missing out on what life has to offer. People can focus too much on the Internet which can be a substitution for the real thing.
Meaning to Life
Absolutely, the quest for love is a fabric to the very meaning and essence to life itself.
I agree that Internet can become a drug if abused. Real people are different than online people, the reality always confirmed me this
YouTubers especially see this, the crazy comments.
Oh I can imagine how it must feel scrolling through so many...
Thank you @creativemary for sharing your thoughts. Yes lost souls do fall in for such fakeness, only if you know that you can turn your online meeting into a real one should one progress, else sitting across miles and not knowing what next is a total waste of energy and emotions. Specially the cross culture connections are luring and attractive, but they really do not mean much. These apps have become so common among people, even the married people are falling for it and ruining their family relations. People kind of want some type of escape and these are the tools they turn on to. Thank you for your good wishes.
Virtual only goes so far. A lovestory takes time, patience, experience. Reality and face to face interaction is always better, have a lovely day!
Technology is just a tool and it can help to meet like minded people like ever before. At the same time if we don’t how to use it our advantages then it’s our fault
Absolutely, it is just one source to connect, but not the ultimate, so from there on one needs to know how to move ahead
Nice...