My phone alarm goes off.
Still in last night's clothes, I walk into my bathroom.
I’m greeted with the version of myself that reminds me of penance - my stomach feeling like it is stuck in turbulence.
I freshen up, put on my European skirt suit and meet my parents. We walked over to our friend's house to take photos. For some reason, I thought you would be there too.
I’ve been waiting for this day - Commencement
To see Elizabeth Warren.
To hear her speak at our commencement.
My cap even said “ Nevertheless She Persisted”
So excited, I got to the area that the Journalism students were stationed early. I was in the front of the line for my department. I sat in the first row. I could see everyone from the Social and Behavioral Sciences walk in.
One
after
One
I tried to see if I could see you for one last time before we graduated
I saw all of your roommates walk in, all seven of them.
I stood up to get a better look.
You weren't there.
I knew you hated her and her policies but I hoped I would see you there anyways.
“So is that boy coming to dinner with us tonight,” my mother asked while we were leaving the stadium.
“ I never asked him to join.”
“Oh, how come? Aren’t you guys friends,” she kept probing me like a cadaver even though she knew the answer she was looking for.
“Yeah, just friends remember. Plus he isn’t into that stuff.”
“Isn’t into a free meal at a nice restaurant? Well, that’s weird.”
I didn’t answer. How can I answer? It was weird that I never asked him.
“I think you didn’t invite him so he will never have the chance to disappoint you,” she said looking at me fidget with my cap.
She knew it was true, I would never admit to myself that he would only disappoint me if I gave him the chance.