I noticed you slipped a casual "dude" in there and actually and in all honesty I have offended women in the past by using "dude" in my own speech on Discord! Which to me, and the era I grew up in, "dude" is not a male-gendered term. Which of course was neither here not there when I offended a woman by starting a response to her with "dude". Words are tricky slippery beasts and emotions even moreso. I think you are right in that people need to call it out when they perceive something offensive is happening, and even moreso need to be willing to accept the validity of someone else being offended. It is all too easy to take the anonymity afforded by computer screens and usernames and use it as license to be shitty. Remembering these are all real people with real feelings and totally different perceptions and experiences can be hard, even overwhelming - but we should all try :)
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I also use "you guys" as a second person plural pronoun without regard to gender, unless told otherwise.
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I've grown quite fond of the expression, "people", which is inclusive and not indicative of a specific gender.
haha yea i did that dude on purpose because I kinda dislike being called dude, but it seemed to fit the casual insult mood. its a love hate word. words are lurky spells that cast influence that are - exactly - tricky slippery slopes. Throw in ESL people, different cultures - tis a malestrom.
It amazes me how people who dont know me well assume I'm a guy. then stop talking to me the same way after I tell them I'm a woman. Like they cant identify with me anymore. shrug.
Ive had a few guys scoff at my opinion, literally say to me, :"well you're just a woman", as if that explained everything. I understand that its cultural most times, but it still floors me that this attitude persists. Calling them on it is trickier because they dont accept my authority to do so.
On top of it we are fighting the backlash against people that get offended at the stupidest things.
I wrote this more for the people that I care about, who I realize just dont think about the words they use, or who are so stuck in their patterns that they dont understand that just because they didnt mean to offend doesnt mean that what they said isnt offensive.
And I'm also battling my own sex that casually accept the language that belittles them. They accept that status quo and dont understand why I make a big deal about it. For instance when I was 16, I loved it that my bf refered to me as wench. I thought it was funny. yet when I was older, and a little wiser, another bf didnt understand why I objected to him calling me "puta" as an endearment - none of his past gfs minded. or never said they did. culture and context.
Mostly I think people dont understand how words are perceived by outsiders, how they latch on to the fact that if a guy I know calls me a bitch and I allow it, that its ok for a guy to call any woman a bitch. they dont understand the context of humor or situation, or that maybe women do mind but are afraid to speak up. I want to give everyone that freedom to say something, and think about whats ok to say in a multicultural setting.
I think silence and passive acceptance sends the wrong message, and the only way to fight it is to educate people about what they are passively condoning.
Thankyou for your lovely comment here, @carlgnash, that proves it's not all men who are disrespectful asses. It definitely isn't entirely about gender, and I'm never going to be offended at being called a dude, until someone realises I'm not and then calls me 'too sensitive' or, as they used to say 'hysterical'. Ugh.