REAPING WHAT YOU SOW, AN ROI, OR JUST PLAIN LUCKY?

papa-pepper (81)in #parenting • 7 years ago

What do you think?

Frequently, from both this account and the @little-peppers account, I have shared posts that either explicitly express or at least show what a blessing they are. For the most part, they are joyful, obedient, respectful, and pleasant to be around. Like anyone, adults included, they have their moment, but for the most part they are pretty few and far between.

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?

As far as I know, only two real options exist as to why this is the case. Either as parents @mama-pepper and are reaping what we have sown and getting an ROI, or, we just got lucky... 5 times.

I was just considering this questions myself after I had posted about how impressed I was that my son was so helpful to me the other day. I've heard before that we are "lucky" and that many children would never help out the way that ours do. This got me thinking.

I've been to houses, where a child is usually sitting on a couch in front of a very large television. One the screen is either a kid's show or a video game, and in front of them is usually whatever snack and soda that they want. Eventually the soda or snack runs out, so they yell across the house into another room, "MOM! I NEED ANOTHER DRINK." Soon enough, Mom comes racing in to give the child a new soda and take away the empty can. The child may or may not muster a grunt of acknowledgement, and the gameplay or television show is never interrupted.

Hopefully that at least still sounds absurd to some of you out there, but unfortunately, I've seen just that more than once. Why does the child behave in such a way? I would guess it only happens because they are allowed to . Personally, we don't do that around here.

THE WAY IT IS AROUND HERE

I share this only to share what we are up to as parents. This is not to be taken as advice for other parents, although anyone is free to follow whatever example they want. Additionally, @mama-pepper and I are not experts in parenting. We have a lot of incentive, but only about eight years' worth of experience.

In the photo above you see the children sitting down at a table for a meal. Moreover, they set that table, and served the food. They did not scream at us from another room that they were hungry. Sure, they were hungry, as we all were, and that is why we prepared the meal and gathered together to eat it.

Once the food is eaten, they clean up their spots and may even help with the dishes. Eventually, they will probably encounter a dish at some other point in their life, and we'd like them to have a clue what to do with it.

INTENTIONAL INSTRUCTION

If you have any children, then you know that they can be a handful. They can be disobedient and they can frustrate you, but how you deal with it is your choice.

We like to tell our children to do something once. That way, they learn to obey the first time. If I tell them three times to do the same thing, then I just trained them to disobey me the first two times, didn't I? Not only is that a bad thing to teach the children, I'd rather not repeat myself. The same goes for raising my voice. If I instruct my children nicely and they don't obey and then choose to yell at them, then I teach them to ignore me until I raise my voice. This is also not good for the child, but it does help one blend in at Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store.

Not only do we expect our children to obey us the first time that we tell them to do something, we expect them to respond in a positive manner. Usually, they tell me "Yes Sir, I'd be glad to" and then immediately obey. When they reply in this way, it lets me know that they heard me, they understood me, and they intend to obey.

I can't even begin to tell you how much of a blessing this is. I remember once getting frustrated in a situation and telling my children something along the lines of, "Sit down and be quiet." Immediately, all of them said, "Yes Sir, I'd be glad to" and they sat down quietly. At that moment, the frustrating situation melted away and I stood there in awe and gratitude.

It was the investment in training them that we had already done that was able to allow that situation to turn out that way. Because they already knew the proper way to respond, it even helped me when I was becoming frustrated and feeling overwhelmed.

LET LOVE WIN

Ultimately, we teach and train our children because we love them. I've met others who basically let their children do whatever they want without instruction or correction, and they also claim that love is the motive. Again, I'm not trying to condemn anyone here, but I'd rather not raise a large, lazy, junk food addict who goes through withdrawals when he's away from the television or computer for too long.

Hopefully you can find some encouragement or inspiration somewhere in what I shared. I was just contemplating and felt like sharing a bit. Thanks!