I’m in agreement with you there. I’m a libertarian and it is hard for me to have a child say ‘am I allowed ...’. My kids will reply “allowed? We don’t bother with that word.” Coz they’ve heard it so much from me. We just don’t really have that word. It’s too power-one-way for me to feel comfortable with. So the Parenting Teen Breakthrough book is an excellent one as it points out to parents that they don’t have control, they never did and they should stop seeking for it as it disrupts any influence they have a hope of having. ❤️
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Perhaps the term control is the issue. Influence is a far better term or idea that both party should consider. Children look up to parents and are more likely to be swayed into a certain decision provided they are not driven into a corner where they feel instinctively defensive. And I suppose it's the same for parents in that they should also consider the opinion of their children enough to modify their own (with reason of course). I find that some parents have the reasoning that because they're older and they are the parents, every decision they make is right. I've had that experience where I was told, "I'm the parent." And down the line, it turned out my decision would've been better off. And yet it was painted that it was my fault regardless that shit hit the fan for not re-iterating my side enough.