You see, maybe it is because of my cultural background - the mexican macho, which I am not, but I grew up in a country where it was still a thing back in the early 90´s - or perhaps my personality plays a role here, but my current mindset revolts around the idea of If I didn´t earn it, I don´t deserve it to the point where I get uncomfortable if I get something "for free".
This doesn´t mean I can´t accept gifts, I certainly can and I accept them gladly - who doesn´t like surprises and presents!? - but what I´m aiming to explain is that, if there is something to be earned and I get it, I have to feel like I did my best to do it, not that I won it because of my face or my family name.
But the general mindset I´ve noticed, at least among my extended social group, is that it is acceptable and even something to brag about, when your uncle gets you a top position in a big company, or when your well connected friend gives you a tip about an investment, or that situation where you come out on top just because you has inside information etc. I think you get my point, positive outcomes that you really don´t deserve but were given to you by someone else on the account of just being related to them or knowing them.
Don´t you think it takes away some of the merit? Getting things instead of earning them
Where is the honor in working a job you didn´t get because of your experience or abilities but because the boss owes your dad a favor? Where is the pride in passing an exam just because you knew the guy who has access to the answers? How can you look at the mirror and be happy knowing that you are only where you are because of someone else´s merits and not your own?
If you´ve ever climbed a mountain or swam accross a hard current river you know what I´m speaking about. That feeling of reaching the goal just by yourself, using your own body to do it, no outside help and no concesions. Either you achieve it or you fail, but it´s up completely up to you.
One of the most amazing feelings is studying for that incredibly complicated exam - coincidentally, an exam for that topic you´ve always had problems with - and walk out the classroom with a smile on our face. You did it, you conquered the subject, passed the exam and became a better version of yourself, by yourself. No one giving you the answers, no one to tell you it´s not your victory but your iphone´s notepad victory.
You read right. Not everyone deserves everything. Sorry to say it so bluntly but it´s the truth.
Give your best, make an effort, sweat tears and cry blood and, if you don´t achieve what you aim for, you have the honor, pride and satisfaction of pushing your limits to the edge; if you succeed, then you have every reason to feel that sensation of grandieur, you deserve what you get.
No one will be able to tell you you were given shit, you earned that shit, it is yours by right and you should be proud.
I recently went exploring South East Mexico and I was ale to attack some waterfalls, here is what you can expect for my next adventure post.
This images are the reason for my pride and honor. To be able to see this with my own eyes after walking or hiking are my achievements. No one is giving me these views, I am earning them. And it feels amazing.
Sadly, I think the "who you are not what you can accomplish" is a pervasive sentiment throughout many societies and cultures across time. I agree. I really like to know I've earned what I've received. And it does happen more times than not, because I'm not really related to anyone who would be inclined to give me a hand up or a hand out.
However, many people live by the saying, "It's who you know, not what you know." Something I've always found aggravating. As you've said, why should anyone, including me, get a job or do well in anything unless they actually merit it.
And it always seems like I'd be owing favors, to a point where I don't know how I could possibly repay them, and I don't want to be slighting people in the process.
So, it is better, much better, to earn things on your own.
My wife is from Mexico, though, and she has a different point of view. Why would that be? A lack of opportunity, or at least a perceived lack? A feeling of unfairness? I don't know. I haven't been able to pinpoint it myself.
As always, though, another thought provoking topic. :)
Corruption; that's how it starts @anomadsoul. It is a culture in my country to brag about who you know or who you are not what you know. There are people who have no qualifications to speak of, whether in education or in character, who occupy positions of responsibility just because their father knows the governor or something.
A person who expresses aversion to accepting opportunities not merited like you is in the minority these days. In fact, you get taunted and mocked for being that way.
People have in recent years found ways to remove the blame for how their lives have turned out from themselves. If it's not their parents, it is their society, or their religion, or God. No one wants to take the blame for their mistakes anymore. This is why gifts and corruption is embraced. After all, they feel that it is their right and as such it is not wrong.
It is good to see that you like to take stuff based on merit, I do too. That is something I learnt from my father. I love to know that I got it as a result of my sweat not because my dad went behind my back to talk to someone.
Lovely picture of the waterfall there. I hope you had fun?
Many people are used to get everything easy, to be helped by others and the worst thing is to adopt that sitiacion in all areas of your life, your point of view is perfect, we really must fight for each of the things we want and so taste with pleasure each victory, after reading you can I wonder who you are if everything gives you? What can you say about yourself if you haven't fought for anything? you can see in the mirror if you got a job at the company for a sponsor? We will only see a lie, an empty fight and a merit that you don't deserve and that you will surely pass on to your child, that kind of education and values we learn at home, it is important to start from there, happy late friend, I hope you are much better.
Yeah it happens so much in my country !! I didnt know people outside are also the same. 😅
They say “oh i know people !! I will get it all done” and then feel as if they have done something amazing !!
I am going to throw tthis article right on their face if they say so the next time !!
Nice article @anomadsoul !!
Some people really need to understand that they are not in a position to brag but should rather feel ashamed after making others do their things !!
Exactly! Its not even their victory and yet they act like its their own doing to be where they are!
But this post is not to criticize those guys, is to encourage the people who see honor in achieveing things by themselves, to keep doing!
Where are you from by the way?
I see !! But criticizing do help sometimes, but only those people who are open minded, wise and try to understand things instead of overreacting due to high ego issues. So even if you were criticizing, it wasn't anything bad I believe.
And I am from India. Thanks for asking @anomadsoul :)
Of course..lets add that whatever lasts longer never comes easy except things that comes easy,they never last long..reach out for it and be proud..lovely words from you @anomadsoul. Resteemed
Yeah man, whatever is given to us, we don´t appreciate it, it is easier to take it for granted and in the end we end up neglecting it. Thank you for the comment and the resteem!
You are always welcome sir
The truth is, if you don't earn it, you will not value it
I certainly agree. However, I think it's not all black and white :) It's more about priorities and what you value most. You can do everything yourself, but you don't have to. Help can be great, but not something to brag about. It more depends on whether the person is willing to do their best in what they do and to give help to the next person that can benefit from the help or needs it. I think the mindsets of earning what you own vs believing you deserve everything is from the upbringing at home more than culture or religion. Also I suppose those who don't value earning everything themselves, may have other good values that make up for it :) Afterall we are programmed before we are even born with genes and then early ages of upbringing and environmen. This shapes us the most for the rest of our lives. Some of us are lucky enough to be who we are, personality and values wise. Understanding is a step forward.
I strongly agree with all the very simple reviews of you @anomadsoul, sweating and crying in the endeavor is something very special, although it is sometimes a gift and a reward as a surprise, but life is a struggle, as beautiful and sweet as any and a bit as well as long as we have to get a little bit, then they will not talk, just a visible satisfaction, a real Inspiration for me, best regards @anomadsoul
I can't agree more..
It is really frustrating to see people get ahead of you who weren't better, just had better contacts and that happens a lot where I live.
But there's nothing that can come close to the satisfaction of getting something you worked hard for.
It is indeed frustrating and I´ve been there man, in both sides of the coin. In reality this post is not too criticize those are up there, but to encourage them to not accept it... same goal, different mentality. It´s not about shaming them for being there, but for those who aren´t, to earn it or not accept it. This is true man, thanks for the comment!
Actually when you don't earn something or respect there will feeling like something you forget and you will never be satisfied.
That is soo true,these words mean alot to me,i am quite on the same side of thinking that you just spoke about...
We must believe in ourselves...that is all.
It doesn´t matter how far or how succesful you are if its not your doing! If you feel like you still have a lot to achieve, the satisfaction of knowing you are moving forward thanks to your legs and not thanks to your father´s car, is amazing right?
Man, i guess you have seen life at it worst...coz only those things change people..and i see change here.
There's dignity in hardwork!!
I agree with you, i like to work to get all i need, it feels so good, i can accept gifts too but not get all for free, have a nice day
That waterfall is amazing. And I agree, when you work for things yourself, the rewards are more fulfilling. Looking forward to the adventure post. Keep being you!
Free lunch is never free, someone paid for it one way or the other. And you owe whoever paid for it somehow.
I feel the same way. When I earn something after much sweat, It's like a validation.
Hello @anomadsoul.
I certainly understand what you want to convey through your words. Give all of us for what we want is priceless, be deserving of what we have won is a unique emotion. You do not feel the same happiness when someone else makes you things, it's like you say you do not feel it was an achievement. Sometimes we have to tell our father "I can alone, let me try" and so we take off the protection of home little by little, I've been 11 years of my life since I made that decision, and your post seems great because in All aspects of life must be deserving. When we are able to achieve things by ourselves we are better people and more productive for society. I hope to see your next post.
Hello @anomadsoul
Yes of course we feel a sense of self worth and satisfaction when we record achievements as a result of our own efforts. In as much as I agree with this... However, the below quoted passages are wrong either 👇👇
No one can deny of never being helped by others in one or two occasions. This is a fact. Thanks, though for sharing.
@eurogee of @euronation community
This piece goes straight to the soul! Thank you
I totally see your point Eric. At least we need to go out try to earn it ourselves. Whether we could earn it or not is another story, at least we tried.
no I dont think that you are not a Mexican macho :) who is saying this? I agree with you to reach your goals with the own stregthness is the best feeling ever. No matter where, in Sport I would really like to feel the success but I am kind of lazy and want to eat the frog and begin to train to see the success to be proud of me for example. You gave me quite a motivation. In general I know this feeling and it begins when I am doing something constantly and continued doing stuff til the goal is reached, wish you a good night.
I will travel South East Mexico in two weeks. Being around that zone is an experience all by itself.
I thought it was a good word.
This takes me back to high school and university years. I remember how annoyed and irritated I used to get when I saw somebody cheating during an exam. You would find some people, instead of studying, they'd be busy preparing cheat notes. I mean where is the honor in that. The same time you spend preparing your cheat notes is the same time you could be using to study. But I think it also says something about self esteem and confidence, morale and self-value.
At the same time I know the feeling of achieving and getting what you were aiming at. Even though it may not always be the best result, but you will find comfort and pride in the fact that you've earned your results. You've what you've got, nobody gave you anything. Nobody can claim that they are responsible for your success except yourself. I am totally with you @anomadsoul. I am also like that. I take pride in what I do and I've earned my position in life. No nepotism or unfair advantage or whatever, got me where I am today. But sadly, not everyone can say that.
True, you have to work hard in order to be able tobe proud of what you've achieved.
I do think that it's OK sometimes to get opportunities via friends or family, like a job opportunity for instance, and that it's not an achievement in itself, but this should be an occasion to prove what someone is made of and that it was not a mistake to give that person said opportunity.
I've had a friend refer me for a job recently, and I wanted to make sure to do an excellent job to not let her down, and also because I enjoy a job well done. If the result is positive, I fell that I can be proud, even if I had a little help at first to get in.
This was my Dads EXACT point at Christmas with crypto: 'Kylie, if you want anything in life, you have to earn it'. He did - worked superhard and has a beautiful home. We are doing the same, but dabbling in crypto isnt any different, I said, then you dabbling on the stock exchange. Argument won 🤣🤣 ... yet I still cant understand why I worked hard on an article about surfing that everyone said was awesome writing and only got 2.50 for it. My husband thinks its hilarious. Still, its 2.50 more than he earnt that day. He is still laughing.
Well as I mean to teach my kids your not entitled to anything until you know what its like to earn and pay for it.
very nice post.I follow you and comment you.Please back me follow+upvote+one comment plsssssss..
That's some chronic spamming my friend
Lol you know it man haha, the community will handle this spammy friendo.
I got a 2%'er for this one :)
i have found that a big one calls their attention and opens up dialoge :)
i remove them afterwards, it is a waste of vp, but hey, spam makes witness nodes more expensive to run with no benefit to anyone
You don't get your VP back for cancelling a vote, so just use what you see fit :)
So many people aren't aware that removing a flag doesn't return VP. Changing a vote is even worse, you vote twice, and will not receive any curation rewards.
I know it is a waste of VP, but if they don't see the post hidden and rep going down usually ignore it (Maybe it is just that they don't realize), I try not to do it much, but it works...
I try to keep my VP to support my little projects