This would've been very long for an answer, but my thoughts just didn't stop, so... Here's the original post by @tarazkp (I hope it's okay to tag), which is absolutely worth a read.
Click here for Taraz' post: Read Into It
I will focus more on the social part of reading in this post, focusing on it's effect in relationships.
What was
I was one of those kids that read while walking. The real world wasn't much fun to me, even though in retrospective I lived a pretty good life, there was a lot of things weighing on young me. So, as soon as I learned to read, I learned to escape. Irony being active all my life, it was reading that helped escape a burn-out a year ago, and find my way back into real life.
What is
I still try to read as much as I can these days. But screens do have me engaged a lot, for so many things. I try to keep my daughter out of the "pleasure" screen time, and have her see me on the screen only while working - or find a way to have us both interact with what is happening on the screen, but that's seldom and usually because she asks me to play a round of Splinterlands with her - she loves the drawings and movements. Since she is allowed very little screen time (one movie per week), I have her sit on my lap while playing a couple of games. She wouldn't just watch it. It's not only the game or the animations, it's also the connection with me she is looking for in those moments, and afterwards I usually leave the Laptop aside and go to do something with her.
Being read to is a ritual
I read her every evening while she falls asleep, up to 20min (the record was about an hour until my voice couldn't handle it anymore). I started it to fortify my connection with her (she lived with her mom most of the time), and strictly in German (we live in Ecuador, her mom only speaks Spanish) so she improved that as well. Now, she is finally living with me, the reading time has actually gone down a little. When I went to see her, it was usually for 7-10 consecutive days (it was a 16h bus ride, so I had to make it worth it), and I didn't have to work in that lapse, so I could focus on her. That lead to Good-Morning-Books, Nap-Books, and Good-Night-Books. Now, I do have to work, and single-parenting... Those who know, know. So it's reduced to books to fall asleep, and sometimes in the afternoon, and on weekends a little in the morning (if she catches me before I get up and make breakfast).
Being read to is a way to create connection
When we visited my family in Germany for the first time, everybody I cared about had to read to her. My mom, of course, but also my uncle, my brother, his girlfriend - and she always snuggled up to them. My father tried, too, but he had a stroke a few years back and it was very difficult for him to read out loud, and even though he got frustrated, she was just so sweet, cuddled in his arms, not saying a word about some of the sentences not making sense. Still to say - she does not ask everybody to read to her. It's a privilege.
Being read to creates new worlds
Quote from Taraz:
Reading is a skill, and it isn't just the ability to comprehend the letters and understand the words, but there are a lot of other aspects to it also. For instance, the fluency of reading is going to impact on how the mind creates images, and that is going to directly impact on the enjoyment of reading.
It's not only the reading itself, it's also the listening part. Creating images in the head based on sound reflecting a coherent narrative. I noticed that after getting familiar with the voices and sounds in movies I could not-watch them and work while listening to them, and still have somewhat accurate images in my head (Disclaimer: I don't recommend doing that, it's better to focus on one thing than to overly multi-task). I listened as much to stories on cassettes when young as I was reading, and the effect was the same, and so does my daughter.
The more experience we have in life, the more images we can create, and the more accurate they are - my hypothesis, don't ask me to quote a study here. Reading is a transfer of experience, and the more varied the stories are, the more material we have to afterwards use to create worlds in our heads - worlds that lead to problem solving, inventions, design of values, utopias.
Even when the quality of the book is not the best - you still draw experience from it. Like from feedback "That doesn't taste good!" is kind of the contrary of productive feedback, but I can still draw conclusions: That person did not like this. For whatever reason, this not in a position to help me with constructive feedback. Maybe that person has not read enough and can't articulate well (okay, that's not a conclusion, but an interpretation, but it brings the thread back to reading).
Being read to is for all ages
I do the same with my girlfriend from time to time, reading philosophy books to her, or passages of other things that I'm currently reading. She is not much of a reader, and letting her into that world of mine creates intimacy. Reading, other than just discussing, creates a totally different environment. There's a neutral third, a text, something in the middle, something to focus on. We discuss the content, we can express our opinions, and learn a little about ourselves and the other in the process, but not in less confrontational way. And we can re-read if necessary, if our memory betrays us, we can go back instead of saying "Well, I remember that differently!"
When I read to her, we read together, the world around us stops, we're concentrated on the same thing, something that nobody else is focused on in this moment.
Reading together is a world of its own
I have a friend who is over 60 years old and lives in Serbia. I got to know him here in Ecuador, and he's the only person that I stayed in touch with over a distance, for 5 years now (he escaped Ecuador right before the pandemic and lock downs started - the Sunday prior to the lock-downs, I took him to the airport). We always had very different opinions and political views, but are both trying to look at things from all sides, so we get along very well.
He's incredibly smart and he reads a lot. He read. His eyes are deteriorating, so he now listens to audio books. So, we started to read together. He got the audio book, I got the print, and we went from chapter to chapter. It's philosophy books, so there's always a lot to discuss - keep in mind that we usually have very different opinions on matters. We send each other voice messages, read our notes to each other, and discuss them. Whenever we have time - voice messages are great for that. I can answer whenever I have time, and he can send as many as he wants to without feeling like he's not letting me speak (which used to happen when we talked in person or on video calls).
To be honest, he's the person I most talk to, because in a way, he is always there, just a voice message away. One of the few positives that I give to Digitality.
We're narrative creatures
The power of a story is in it's quality, and it's intention. Polynesian sailors navigated the pacific ocean based on stories that they were told around the campfire. The quality was excellent, the didactic method highly effective, and the intention was good. Honestly, I think that a big chunk of the deteriorating of values in our societies is due to the lack of reading. Today's narratives are nothing of that, we all know that and I will not get into that rant that is playing automatically in my head now. Will it ever be better? Hard to say. I myself am working on it, by guiding my daughter into a life full of stories.
This is me back in the days
I am past that point mostly with a toddler and falling asleep before them. Now I have a teenager!
That said, I have never given up on reading. My eyes are not very good anymore. Let me tell you, nothing is a bigger curse to a geologist when they begin the lose their eyes!
Anyways, I read still read every day.
To help my eyes, and to give them a bit of rest, lot of the times now I read audiobooks. Thanks to my friends at hive, there is never any shortage of recommendations.
Reading now:
"The Miracles of the Namiya General Store"....Keigo Higashino
Yeah I'll enjoy every minute before my little one gets older... She's very self-sufficient already, and can do a lot on her own. But my girlfriend's daughter is in puberty now, and that is a hassle. I'm trying to take notes on everything going on there, and applying preventive measurements in my parenting style :-D
How is that book? I haven't read any prose in a while, currently on Lewis' Abolition of Man - but just started. Philosophy English is a little different. But actually easier than philosophy German, and that comes from decently-read German native. The book my friend and I read together was "The Burn-Out Society" from byung-chol han, the book I was reading to my gf was "The Non-Things", also by han. So way too much Philosophy, I need my mind to rest a little.
Couple of things:
(1) That head image is AWESOME.
(2) As a kid I wasn't read to much, and I sort of feel like I missed out; I've done a TON of reading to my kids and both they and I have amazing memories of that. When I look at books that I read them countless times it brings me back to those moments in a way that's hard to describe.
(3) Just wanted to say something on reading in general, as it's something that I feel is being lost on so many younger people nowadays. Tbh I didn't read much as a kid or young adult, and picked it up later, and yet now it's one of my favorite things to do. I think when someone really understands to appreciate reading, they realize how much more magical and powerful and deep it can be than a movie. I'm now reading Dune actually (strange I never got to it, being the nerd that I am) and it's one of the most incredible reads (even if you've seen the movies, which are in their own right amazing).
Thank you for the comment!
(1) I like the head image as well, took me a few prompts until I got something close to what I was looking for. But Canva does quite a good job.
(2) Great to read that you gave your children that! It's a great gift for every child.
(3) Dune is on my list, too - fun fact, I played the game before I watched a movie on it (one of the old ones), and haven't read the books yet. One day...
And yes, I notice that younger people don't read as much. Beside the text comprehension and general communication lacking, there are other things that I relate to a lack of reading, like a reduced attention span and problem solving capacities.
Oh man tell me about that reduced attention span. I feel like soon kids will need a class at school called "Focus".
I apply the same strategy with my younger workers that I apply with my daughter - if I have the feeling that they did not pay attention to what I was saying, and said "Okay" anyway, I have them repeat everything I said. Works quite nicely.
First note:
You have gained a follower. And maybe more soon.
Second note:
My daughter loved sitting on my knee and opening chests at the end of season - can't do that now in the same way.
Okay, enough with the notes. This is a great reflection on what I was writing about and brings in some new aspects that I hadn't mentioned. I am also going to consider reading to my wife, or perhaps reading a book together as a family.
When it comes to time, what I do with Smallsteps (my daughter's nickname here) is read a few pages at a time. We have made it through Dr, Seuss series, Roald Dahl books, the Narnia series, the Mary Poppins series, The Hobbit... a few pages every second night and a few weeks or months later, it is onto the next volume. It is great for her English skills, since Finnish is her main language and the one she uses 90% of the time.
I like how you mentioned the narrative and the mental images. I read the LoTR as a child and a few times since, and know it well. However, my created world was replaced once I saw the movies years later. The familiar faces that I had designed, were wiped away and actors stood in their places instead. I loved the movies, but watching them came at a great price to my imagination.
Now I am rambling :)
Thanks for the great post and I will forgive the cross-post, though I am normally not a fan :)
I will not crosspost again, promise!
My little one (the nickname idea is cool, I'll find one) is currently a fan of Erich Kästner, one of the best and criminally underrated German writers. She doesn't understand most of the jokes, since the word plays are from the 1930s, but the book "The 35. of May" is just an impressive example of both imagination (it's absolutely crazy) and foresight (self-driving cars for example): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_35th_of_May;_or,_Conrad%27s_Ride_to_the_South_Seas
If you want to blow imagination to the top - that's a good book.
The little one is 6 years old, so the Hobbit is a little too much for her. I'm thinking about getting into Astrid Lindgren with her next - she already knows Tomte Tummetot and a few smaller works, as well as the Sven Nordqvist books. But I'll look into Roald Dahl, I remember I loved his books, but don't remember my age.
And I agree on the images. The friend I mention has read LOTR many times, and left me his 7-book-copies (the 6 original plus the annex), the most precious (lol) among the many things he left on his move. He hated the movies, and I think the destruction of the images he had created were part of it.
We live in a world where reading books is considered clinging to the past.
Might be. My experience is more that reading becomes more like workout - it's that thing that everybody agrees should be done, but very few do.
Reading is a very good thing, those who don't live a bring type of life. Again, I love that your kid is being thought well.
It's a looooong process, but it's working so far :-) Thank you for your comment!
Thanks for sharing! - @azircon
Thank you for reading & upvoting!
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