Two years ago, I was set on track to graduate University of Oregon and move just north of Milan, Italy to teach English in a high-school. I knew that I wanted to be active in a multi-lingual community, and I thought that this was going to be a golden opportunity for me. The city life, the bustling people, the opportunity to experience culture + history every day—I loved the idea. As the days got closer, and as my placement school in Italy continued their nonexistent communication, I began wondering if this was truly the path for me. One belief that I held strongly after studying Linguistics was that I was beginning to hate English, a language that through history has focused so much energy on eradicating native dialects and language groups. It is white-washing all of history it is able to translate + destroying history that wasn’t translated into English. Its ‘grammar’ was formed by the church, taking away power from the people who used the language and disregarding natural speech patterns and usage.
I began questioning, is this indoctrinated path truly in alignment with my greater goals? Do I want to work to continue fueling the belief that speaking a single universal language is the best way to global citizenship + community? Nope.
I sent in a letter to the school explaining that I had re-examined my life and with deep apologies, I would not be able to continue with the job. Love had opened my eyes.
Two years ago I committed myself to a relationship with my partner in love, Austin. He and I grew up across the country from each other, and have a lot to learn between us. The insights he brought into my life rung true with a lot of personal beliefs I had, and they asked more of me. I was being called to align my actions with my beliefs, rather than letting mySelf be smothered by social expectations and structured habits.
I grew up with a strong belief that the only decent route in life was to educate myself (or rather be educated) throughout my life, seeking reputable schools and earning my grades through self-motivated high quality production of paperwork. I had always been interested in the physical creation of goods, but believed knowledge to be the true worth in our world. Without knowledge, where would our future be? How could humanity continue without sustaining a properly educated and reasonably docile society?
Austin had much deeper views on world strife and our own responsibilities during our time on earth. If we aren’t aligning our life with our views then what are we even doing with ourselves? Let me write this clearly, OUR views as in those which exist in our most personal self, our gut morals. It can be difficult to tell where our personal beliefs exist and where the beliefs of-- your friends + parents + family + lovers + religion + government + media + teachers + authors —overpower your own. Intuitively, we can work to separate our beliefs from the beliefs placed upon us by stepping back to examine our feelings about our actions. I find that journaling and meditation are good ways to connect with this inner self.
I used to react to situations, and I am now working on responding to situations. My reactions were habitual, mostly based on other people’s views or societal expectations. Simple example: someone asks how we are doing and we respond with “Fine/Good/Ok/Swell” when it is not really the case. More complex example: reacting to an argument by shutting down and releasing power instead of working to communicate, understand and respect one another’s viewpoint. Glazing over experiences to make them prettier and easier to swallow. Artificially flavoring your natural medicine.
I was beginning to see the strife in the world, and I realized I was taking part in creating it.
Newton’s Third law of motion:
“For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.”
What reactions was I causing with every action I took? How deep did this ripple effect occur?
It was simple to start seeing things clearly once I opened my eyes.
I was using my purchasing power (very real concept here on Steemit!) to fuel products produced with ill intent—profit. I was funding slave labor in so many forms. I was funding greenhouse gas emissions and landfills. I was funding plastic, blood, and immorality. I was not purchasing things that aligned with my beliefs. I was purchasing things because they were cheap + quick + easy. These poison products, causing all kinds of negative reactions to keep their ease and commodity on our end, were available everywhere. Our society was feeding a greed monster, supporting it and helping it thrive through media blasting and fads. Superstores have super cheap prices, but that price comes at an equal and opposite cost. The opposite reaction to these super cheap commodities are deep expenses to the people who created them + to the environment they were produced and will be destroyed in.
Netflix recently uploaded a series, “Rotten”--Check out this review by steemian @bittermelon--showcasing the twisted systems in place surrounding food production on our planet. These realities are beginning to gain popularity relative to years past, but we still see so little progress in mainstream society. I began eating a plant based diet after spending time in a relationship with someone who was aware of the maladies and horrors of the meat + dairy business. I grew up vegetarian, and had never supported the production of meat as a market product. I believed that if people were willing and able to hunt or raise their own animals it was acceptable, but never agreed with the idea of supporting lives meant for slaughter raised in profit-driven conditions. It didn’t make sense logically either: wasting so much space to grow cheap soil-sapping feed to raise (located elsewhere on other cleared land) a less-productive + more energy consumptive + unhealthier product when we could use that space to create huge amounts of sustainable produce for human consumption.
Living animals are being treated as products, and that simply isn’t something I can support. Cheese was one thing I thought I couldn’t live without, but after I did my own research to figure out where my values lie I quickly dropped dairy. I wasn’t interested in supporting business models which profited from governing animals, because I am an animal that doesn’t want to be governed. I wasn’t interested in consuming breast milk from a human, nor was I interested in consuming coagulated cancer-causing A1 casein proteins in breast milk from a cow. I am no longer a helpless baby who cannot eat adult food, so why should I include food meant for helpless babies in my diet? My opiate-like addiction to dairy caused by these mama-baby-cow-bonding proteins quickly ceased, and I haven’t had troubles with craving dairy in quite a long time.
If I don’t want to support slavery (animal or human!), I should research where my products come from and how they are made. All the products. Read labels, be surprised. Now that I am trying to make what I can myself, I try to figure out how to make the things I eat by looking at the ingredients of things I purchase. My most recent whoops: An acquaintance offered some lime tortilla chips and salsa, curious about the wild flavor I checked the ingredients. I didn’t know I needed to milk a cow to make lime tortilla chips myself! But then again, who would think that some ‘Hint of Lime’ chips also meant ‘Hint of Dairy”?
Unnecessary ingredients + processes take us a step further into the ripple effect. What is the manufacturing process used in extracting these 13 ingredients I don’t recognize? Whose job is it to peel this pre-peeled plastic wrapped garlic? Were those people able to work towards their highest goals while peeling this garlic?
I seek to live intentionally, to focus my attention and my power towards things I truly intend to support. This didn’t mean simply changing how I used my personal purchasing power, but how I used the power of my voice and my ability to change the focus of my life as I see fit in alignment with my greater goals and greater good. That’s why I have had such an incredible post-graduation life experience. I feel that the knowledge I was able to access and the information I was presented with during my years in Uni helped me understand my own point of views by opening me up to deep critical thinking and analysis. Once I turned these skills outward into the world I was experiencing, I began to recognize the fallacies so much of my world experience was built upon, and sought out a more natural way of living.
This change doesn’t happen overnight, it can’t. Reflect on how many years we take piecing together the versions of ourselves which fit into society standards, and recognize that it will take a similar amount of time to recreate and re-member ourselves. Personally, I’m nowhere near the end goal of where I want to be living sustainably + morally. I still have a lot of work to do on releasing quick judgments, moving away from self-centeredness + lack of care for momentary interactions, on embracing and forgiving others + mySelf in all the stages of my life so far. This doesn’t mean we haven’t come far though.
Do you remember the time you were wishing to be where + who you are now? What does that time feel like now?
Did you even want to be where + who you are now?
These were the examinations running through my mind. Could I envision my future if I stayed on that path? When I did envision it, I could see myself being happy living in wealth and academia, a social bug. But the happiness I saw was not honest. It was a feigned happiness disturbed by the quickening of my mental spark, seeking answers to philosophical life questions. I still intend to learn, and in fact hope to learn much more through self-education + seeking resources which I trust to come into an educative space with a positive presence. It took a lot of strength to stand up to myself and battle the beliefs so deeply sunken within me which were not my own. It took courage to change my life path, fearing rebuttal from friends, family and professors alike. I was fearful that the people I had come to care for in my life may no longer respect or appreciate me as they had previously.
I’ve come to understand now that while there have been losses in my life since these mental revolutions, the changes that have come forth have been truer to my interests and life goals than experiences prior. The honesty that has flown through the doors I’ve been able to open is incredible, and the momentary experiences with myself have been life changing. I find purpose in my power, my ability and my strengths. I tend to believe in myself because my actions are falling in line with my morals. The self-hatred and self-destructive tendencies which I had developed through abusive relationships and moral degradation have lifted.
I thank my sweet partner for helping me along this path towards becoming a truer version of myself, and I invite you, dear reader, to spark your own match of illumination. Help yourself come into contact with your personal divinity and magnanimous power of manifestation. We are electric creatures with magnetic charismas, discover the sizzle in the soles of your feet by stepping towards your greater goals.
Let me toss some tinder into your coals:
is the work you do each day pushing you towards your own greater good, or is it manipulating your personal power to fuel someone else’s fire?
Respect yourself and you will find sweetness, respect others and sweetness finds you.
Till next time!
So much of this resonated for me! I'm still, at 52 years young, working on becoming a more... I guess, authentic version of myself (not enough coffee yet to get my words to work - LOL). Excellent and thought-provoking post. Oh, and for a moment, when you said "We are electric creatures" I thought you said, "eclectic" and I was like, "That's totally me!" 😊
Its a lifelong process! I hope to be astounded by the changes of self i have yet to experience 🙏 eclectic + electric beings we are! ⚡❄
I have no doubt you will have many instances of...
in the years to come!
I'm such a huge fan of being able to do this on steemit, and I totally space about it every time I make comments. I love the class this one has!
Thanks! I love when I stumble across a gif like this on Giphy and save it for later, then the perfect opportunity (like this) comes along to use it! 😊
It sounds like you are creating the New Paradigm for humanity @coyoeom, I am with you on that!
I'm just one of the many minnows in the stream!
...and the stream would be incomplete without you!!
Love the depth of introspection and truly creative and adaptive thinking/living. It’s whats truly needed in our times!! <3
As I was reading your blog, a podcast I listened to yesterday kept popping into my mind so I’ll send it along. It’s guest is Lyla June, the native activist/singer, etc... a really powerful look at her take on education/her path and action in the world! Perhaps you’d (or someone else reading this) may be interested:
the influence of capitalism on our spirits
Much love
@mountainjewel
Thank you @mountainjewel! My sweetheart and i love listening to podcasts, if you're ever discovering some gems send them on over! I'll listen to this cooking dinner ✨🙏
I resonate with this so much. Nothing was 'wrong' with my city life. I had a great life in a comfortable apartment, surrounded by amazing people working for the design industry that I'd always loved. Yet, I felt hollow inside as I didn't have any passion for what I did, contributing through destructive ways. Just like owning fancy shoes doesn't mean you can run any faster, surrounding yourself with material fluff is useless if you aren't spiritually happy. I loved reading your introspection and the depth and honesty of it. I hope you align yourself with your higher self and find your Ikigai which is a Japanese concept that means a reason for being. I relate because that is exactly what I'm trying to do in my own way. Here's wishing you all the best on your journey and the dawn of what will hopefully be an enlightenment era.
I appreciate the depth of your presence @soulturtle!
I think that this feeling of ennui happens to many of us human creatures, it is definitely interesting to explore. On a side note, I love learning what I consider to be fateful words in other languages-- linguistics nerd!
Aww, thank you. Fateful words sounds intriguing. Perhaps you could share a post on some of those and what they mean. I'm not the best at languages. I've heard language plays a big part in the way you think. Like for example English focuses on action, like you'd say she is sitting on the chair. In a language like German they say it like the chair is being sat on by her. That subtle difference in priority affects perception. Perhaps Germans are known for work and craftsmanship because of this? I imagine you'd have a lot of thoughts on this subject. It'd be a great post if you ever get to it.
I think i could get real wild deep if i got on some linguistic tangental posts! It would be really fun. I appreciate languages that put high value or respect to nature and animals, maybe i could do a post if i make some sketches of ideas!
A thought provoking read....thank you @coyoteom . Regards: @averageoutsider
Thank you! If anything I hope to help people think for themselves more often!
@originalworks
That’s quite the journey of self-discovery. Really hit the nail on the head as to our disastrous & immoral food supply ecosystem. Thanks for sharing!
Of course! I appreciate you sharing space with these thoughts 🙏
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Incredible! Thank you so much @appreciator!
Wow, this is truly one honest piece that I have read on Steemit blogs. Making it personal yet inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with us :)
I seek to share any insights i gain through personal experiences, i think that this natural exchange of knowledge through community conversation has been lost through the years, and i hope to help push community knowledge back to the forefront of importance. Thanks for reading @heartscally
My pleasure :)
I whole heartedly agree that our purchases make a difference- for better or for worse. I think it's well known too, just ignored. Personally I'm way behind and even when I do make dietary a change, usually after a month I fall back to the usual. So I'm at least trying to reduce plastics and not buying unnecessary clothes. In the end if we all contribute in some way we still end up making a difference.
Resteemed for visibility :)
Its totally the little things that add up! Once you start practicing little improvements, they become habit and the cycle can begin again! Thank you for creating these great page dividers @kristyglas! And thank you for the resteem! May abundance and wealth find you on your path!
Thank you @coyoteom for sharing this personal quest, I sure do enjoy peeling of my own garlic and I think I can identify with you on the topic of realingment experiences. I had several turning points in my life myself and am very glad of that :) I'm following you for more fantastic and motivating posts like this one. All the best, Klaudia
So glad that this rings familiarity with your journey! I believe that these turning points in our life are much more important than society gives space for, personal exploration is key to personal happiness. Blessings to you Klaudia @shinyforest
I love how you explored different aspects of your life in this post and so honestly discussed your different beliefs that you nurtured before and those that changed with time. I strongly believe that the ability to understand what your core values, beliefs and genuine goals are and then align them altogether helps you live a meaningful life and it seems like you have infused a lot of meaning into your life. Great post!
Thank you for recognizing the infusion of meaning and value into these words! It can be hard to expose yourself with sincere unabashed honesty, but I feel that doing so will bring me closer to my goals. Thanks for reading and sharing your insight too @sharoonyasir
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by coyoteom from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.
I feel like trying to find our authentic selves is the best thing we can do and that it is an ever changing journey. Not trying to fit into anyone else's idea of what or who we should be... but being true to ourselves. Great thought provoking post!
I am beginning to learn that we are ever-changing in ourSelves, and we've got to learn to give ourselves love through the whole journey! I don't believe I will always be this version of myself, but I have got to support her the whole way through.
you've read omnivore's dilemma right? i haven't had a chance to watch the rotten series, but these seem like they're along the same vision-path.
Hilariously enough, I've had to do reports on the book before but dont remember reading it 😂 its on my reading list (again?) this year!
it's worth reading several times over! :)
This is an eye-opening post. I hadn't thought quite this way about how I'm funding slave labor. I am setting the intention to be more aware of what I am buying and where it is sourced. I also intend to upcycle more. Thank you for this illuminating post.