Sometimes we can become so concerned with what other people are thinking, what they think about us. And it's more difficult for some than others, to accept the fact that there are some people out there who just aren't going to like you no matter what you do. Not everyone is going to get along with you or even want to. And not everyone is going to understand or accept whatever message you have to tell them and they have every right not to.
Being concerned with what others think about us is rooted in fear and a fear of rejection and for some people it can really hold them back from expressing their true selves and what they really want to say or do. It can be challenging to ignore the inner dialogue that's trying to persuade you that a certain idea is stupid and to move against that overwhelming feeling and to take the chance on accepting the vulnerability and the potential to reap (or for others to reap) positive rewards by taking that chance.
Whether it's a film, a song, a book, a painting, an opinion piece, an invention, we never know what is going to strike a chord with someone else, possibly bring some sort of value to their life (entertainment, knowledge etc) or improve the standard of living for potentially many people around the world or many who are still to come.
Innovation quite often is rooted in creativity and can improve upon what we know and the way we do things now, but people first need to take the chance in thinking different and trying something outside of the box. That can be difficult and has been difficult for many people who have walked that path.
And it isn't only creative innovations in the way of technology that can change our world for the better but so too can thoughtful songs and paintings, stories, articles, and films etc, they can bring us joy, comfort, and even make us reflect on our surroundings and our reality. And when it comes to a number of issues facing society, they first need to be faced and acknowledge before they can be changed.
We have seen from previous psychological experiments, like the Ash conformity experiments, that it gets really tough to go against the flow. If everyone around you keeps saying that 2+2=5, I am thankful for those who have the courage to say otherwise.
Because it is so difficult for people to go against those feelings of fear and to try and take the chance on exploring their creativity, I cannot see such vulnerability as a weakness. It takes strength to put yourself out there, to be honest with people and to share your thoughts and ideas with them, after all you are taking the chance that they will think you're stupid, useless, and wrong etc. The more that people know about you, the more opportunity they have to judge you. But we already know that people aren't going to like everything that we have to say nor are they going to like us. And whatever you do, people are going to judge anyways, so should we let fear of their judgements stop us?
You could just kept quiet and opt for the seemingly safe route of going with the flow. But then quite often many will find that they don't feel like they are being true to themselves and that might be something that you can only sit comfortably with for so long. Our world has improved and can improve for the better thanks to those who are daring enough to take a chance on being different and doing things differently and it's refreshing to come across honesty in the sea of "fake news," also to see someone embracing their individuality (and creativity) rather than trying to be something they see everyone else being.
Pics:
Pixabay
Simpsons/ imgflip
gif
Alexander Street
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conformity_experiments
It really is hard to keep on following someone elses standard.
I mean our behaviour depends on someone elses thought. We cant be ourself when we always think about people judgement.
Wish we could open up our mind so we could be brave to be ourself. At least we should try.
This is one of my favorite articles as this used to happen to me. I have been overweight for a long time probably most of my life and I was always afraid to be me and overtime I learned to to really not pay attention to what other people think about me and just to be me. I know it's easier to say this than it is to actually do this but I'm a lot happier now that I'm not afraid to be me
I used to be really skinny and after a long relationship and now being older i dont feel so good about myself or weight at times, i have to remind myself that i am great and its all in my head. Im still trying to adjust and take care of my self better. Eating right exercise and you are right it is easier said than done. This is after all now a brave new world in which we must all learn to flow like a blade of seaweed, not much time to be wasted in a fearful state.
I do care too much about other people. Honestly now I really care about 3/4 people judgement.
In a working place it is easy have those kind of problems I am afraid.
Nice post. Thanks for sharing
followed and upvoted. I've seen so much crap on Steemit today, this was really refreshing. Very well written and articulated. Nice job!
thank you for reading :)
Just gotta be your true self! Regardless of what others think keep doing you and improving yourself to be the best you can be!
Hey man.
followed, upvoted, and resteemed.
My profession is a therapist and I work with people who feel this way each day.
Excellent post. Upvoted. It truly resonate with me, what I aspire and what I'm doing on steem to find a sense of belong on steem. The internet behind the screen would make it easier perhaps. The path of authenticity isn't an easy one - I battle with shame, fear, criticism and judgement. When we we do embrace the power of vulnerability, it becomes a birthplace for love and true creativitya and original ideas - In the ebb and flow of creativity energy just flow boundlessly. People said on the other side of fear there is love. It all comes down to loving and accepting ourselves first: for our emotions, weird ideas and all that quirky things about ourselves.
Up Voted Immediately.
Hi doitvoluntarily,
I want to share a quote with you by Gary Vee;
it basically means, be yourself, and stop caring what people think.
Thank you :)
haven't heard that one before! lol gave me a laugh
I am an original not a copy!!!!
Blessings to you!!
Resteemeded and Upvoted
Nice article...
I feel the worst thing to think is what other people will think if you do this or do that, just do what you feel is right!
I'm not sure if it's happening more lately or if I'm just now noticing it, but I've seen people getting rid of those inner demons recently more than I have in the past.
I think people are better off when they have somewhere to release that pain, or bitterness that they've been holding inside for so long or to say how they really feel about something.
I think there's a trust here that people feel, maybe "safe"? to really open up.
Amazing message, something I really needed to hear. I'm about to begin a new job with new people, and there is a lot of responsibility and a lot riding on how I perform, so there's added nervousness.
On top of this, I also have a problem with being overly accommodating or too "nice" to people because I feel I need to compensate. Growing up I had some traumatic experiences that molded me to be vigilant and careful at all times, with all people, but I'm learning to be myself and be true to myself and to honor myself better.
Thank you very much for sharing this - as I said before, this was a message I needed to hear. *Respect *Followed *Upvote *Resteem
Just upvoted!
For me, just keep going, we dont have to please everyone!
Following you
It's lit🔥🔥🔥🔥
It starts in school. You are forced into a system that is beneficiary for employers, you are a molded to a perfect worker. If you don't fit into the system, you either become an outsider or even worse. There are absolutely amazing people out there that are homeless, but so much more talented than most, just type in Youtube 'homeless musician' and you'll see. Elon Musk understood disfunction of our school system, that's why he started his very own school, where he put his own kids in, so their talents/interests/passions would be supported and developed.
nice one...a wonderful read and you really got me reflecting on your message. That reminds me of our steemit member who posted about his football academy in UK.. He explained how good he was in football but for the fear of making mistakes and what people will say about it, he never reached his peak in football career and lives to regret it. part of his work is to help young talents build self confidence and believing in themselve...
thanks for sharing this...you doing great mate!
Great post! We are all definitely at our best when we can be ourselves. Find that place where you can be you, and, well, be you. Upvoted and resteemed!
Nice article! Need to believe in yourself, if not nobody will believe in you. Thanks for sharing.
@doitvoluntarily The topic you spoke about is so real and I am speaking from personal experience. I used to agree to anything and everything what others said in school. And later in my college life I asked myself what have I done in school except for following others. It felt bad.
Whatever someone "thinks" about you, is real. You can't hold on to what they think, as what they think is real to them and their reality.
I can only be responsible for what I think of myself and paddle my own canoe. if someone see's you differently because of that, then how they see you may be closer to how you see yourself.
The reality is the perception of the mind, combined with the perspective of the view.
I struggle with this. My head knows I shouldn't care about how others perceive me; my heart knows but still does anyway! Like right now, writing this comment. "Will the person reading this think I'm weak for caring what they think" "Maybe they'll think I suck" "Maybe they're right and I DO suck".
Bob Ross "Happy Accidents." There are no mistakes, everything serves a purpose
Ya agree
There's a japanese saying...everybody has 3 masks. One you show to strangers, one you show to family and friends, and the other one you show when you're alone. The last one is your authentic one.
Nice article.
Ive been constantly having self doubts and i let the trash people say about me get to me. That's something i am working on and i'd like to change about myself and just learn to be who i am and love myself more.
TOO HARSH???
Yes you are right
Fear is our own restriction
Very wise postings, not all opinions to be heard. We can be right and they can be right. Incredible my friend
Good job. Its hard but worth it too live an authentic life, which means being yourself. For some people its a journey and takes time. Be brave guys
Dude, this is awesome. I appreciate you supporting my stuff and wanted to come and return the favor.
I agree it is hard to go against the grain, but for some, that is what drives the creative. It is true, the more we know about someone the more they can be judged. I think that is why a lot of good people stay out of politics. I try not to care what people think. I do a pretty good job for the most part. It's hard though. Instinct is to care, but the wise ignore it or use it to make themselves stronger.
FYI - I'm should have the Food Bank video up tomorrow.
A very good job here explaining this subject which is key to solid mental health. I blogged similar recently from a personal perspective and kinda missed the point by not giving this message out clear enough. Thanks for posting.
Great post! This is always an important message to get across. I'm sure all of us, to some degree, struggle with that friction between conformity and expressing our true selves. We just need to have courage to put the truth of ourselves out there and that way we know that of those that do like us, they like us for who we really are, not someone we're pretending or trying to be. Upvoted!
Great read, very eye opening. I often think about how much more advanced the human race would be without the million different controlling mechanisms we have had throughout history. All these restrictions of useless laws, superstitious and lies. Thanks
Instead of being true to ourselves we are too busy trying to make ourselves likeable.
I just simply do the "no f-cks given" kind of attitude ... especially to people who simply don't show empathy or at least understanding. I'm glad I don't simply fold into the regular mold of those who would simply believe anything told to them ... a la 2+2=5 lol
This content is really great . I am somebody who gone through lots of criticisms and it started from my childhood itself. I was very sensitive and gets disappointed easily. A psychologist told me the same technique as you said to go with the flow. I acknowledge my situations and now i m living without such concerns that put me down. I love your philosophy and now i am following. I know that you r such a great man ..if u could support me in steemit.It will be my luck. :).
This post has been ranked within the top 10 most undervalued posts in the first half of Jun 30. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $77.82 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Jun 30 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
Very interesting and thought provoking article.. I think many people see it as a problem if another person thinks badly of them or is judging them, I like to think the person who Is judging me or another person is the person who has the real problem. Everybody has an opinion It's our job not to care.
Timely post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Too many people would rather you not be your true self... and instead be what they need you to be.
FREE YOURSELF FROM OTHERS OPINION.😄
Your thoughts are very similar to my own opinion. And I should resteem it. Person needs a great courage to get out of the own comfort zone. In this period of my life I very need such courage.
Yeah. I'm glad I don't suffer from these problems. I guess I have to deal with the new set of issues that pop up from doing my own thing though.
Great article. It seems as though if humans have any grand purpose, it is to create and further evolution through those creations. Keep it coming!
So true but I have never cared what people think of me if I did I would have low self esteem and be worried all the time what they are saying. Also if someone tells me something I don't want to hear and I know I'm a good person and I just don't want their advice I say bye and walk away, works for me, I want a simple life with as little stresses as can be, enjoy your day🙃🙃
inspiring.
i'm in search for my true self since i remember.
i've found myself many times.
my problem in being myself is the slippery of it. now i'm this and a few moments later with new information available i'm something else.
how can i express myself if i'm only momentary? is this a trick of life expressing itsef so it can outgrow the brittle image one has of him/herself? shatter the you now so a new you can be?
i find it really annoying, expressing myself is painful