I feel you. I don't know why people do it exactly - I used to see it as something like an excuse to justify personal unfulfillment. Eventually everyone stops hurting, those who still cling to the hurt may want to justify their own experiences as unique and uncommon to others to make them feel special. Nothing particularly wrong with that but it does affect the quality of ''present livin'
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It becomes wrong I guess when they impress their pain onto others to make themselves feel better or, seek to destroy the happiness of others to bring them down to their level.