"I just find it rather interesting that it took me so long to realize that I could be as aware of myself as I always felt I was of others."
I'm taking notes, FORREAL. My self-awareness is not where I'd prefer, but everything really is a learning experience. I think that true transparency would be a sight to see.
Secrecy in all respects I see as coming from being afraid of a negative result. Not interacting with others, or missing opportunities can be linked to fear of something. I enjoy your view of the unknown however, where a negative possibility exists, there's also positive ones.
We won't know unless we take a step forward.